General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWhy it's so Hard for Men to Recognize Misogyny (Slate.com)
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2014/05/_yesallwomen_in_the_wake_of_elliot_rodger_why_it_s_so_hard_for_men_to_recognize.htmlIOW, speak up, girls. And boys! Everybody speak up!
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)this is pretty much a constant.
"The night after the murders, I was at a backyard party in New York, talking with a female friend, when a drunk man stepped right between us. I was thinking the exact same thing, he said. As we had been discussing pay discrepancies between male and female journalists, we informed him that this was unlikely. But we politely endured him as he dominated our conversation, insisted on hugging me, and talked too long about his obsession with my friends hair. I escaped inside, and my friend followed a few minutes later. The guy had asked for her phone number, and she had declined, informing him that she was married and, by the way, her husband was at the party. Why did I say that? I wouldnt have been interested in him even if I werent married, she told me. Being married was, like, the sixth most pressing reason you werent into him, I said. We agreed that she had said this because aggressive men are more likely to defer to another mans domain than to accept a womans autonomous rejection of him.
A week before the murders, I experienced a similar dynamic when I went for a jog in Palm Springs, California. It was early on a weekend morning, and the streets that had been full of pedestrians the night before were now quiet. When I paused outside a convenience store to stretch, a man sitting at a bus stop across the street from me began yelling obscene comments about my body. When my boyfriend came out of the convenience store, he shut up."
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)if I'm with her, because then she won't get street harassed by the local lowlifes. They'll say all kinds of shit to 2-3 women at a time, but a woman out with a man gets left alone.
And people say there's no patriarchy.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)it will inevitably get ugly. The guys who insert themselves into my conversations with a friend without as much as a "pardon me", they are always told to step off. Not interested in rude people.
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)librechik
(30,676 posts)Having the patience to get them to listen. Oy.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)and the situation escalates. Sometimes guys just ignore stuff if it's their friends, because believing the worst of their friends is difficult. But being targeted by their friends isn't?
I should add the comments on the Capt Awkward "We have a case of the Creepy dude" here. So many men more concerned about keeping their social group intact than the women in it's safety. Scary.
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)That way they can control the conversation.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)once. OMG.
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)*makes note*
dilby
(2,273 posts)It's not my responsibility to apologize or make excuses for others, I can only control my own actions.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)Guess you don't want to "be the change" we progressive hope for. Thanks for not pretending to be an ally.
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)life easier or better for people you care about.
dilby
(2,273 posts)Sorry but I don't really care if there are women haters, man haters or any other haters in the world. I did not ask to be the privilege police because I was born with a penis. I have far more important things to do with my life than to worry if some kid is feeling butt hurt because he was told no.
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)librechik
(30,676 posts)because privacy. or because not my business-ism. If you are not an activist by sentiment at least, then WTHIWW U?
Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)It reinforces the collective sense that only one gender has real issues and feelings.