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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy wife just kicked me out of the kitchen
She said that because I had been drinking (just a little mead), I couldn't cur onions. Or mushrooms. WTF?! Guy tries to help make dinner, gets his ass kicked.
DavidDvorkin
(19,477 posts)longship
(40,416 posts)mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)Get a new white onion, and you ain't seeing shit for hours. What's a little mead going to do on top of that?
WhiteTara
(29,715 posts)Squinch
(50,949 posts)But he's going to lose. Onions are too light.
Cali_Democrat
(30,439 posts)mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)All I wanted to do was cut mushrooms, and there's a little short knife for that.
Jenoch
(7,720 posts)Maybe that's why you were rebuffed. (By the way, a chef's knife is the same as a cook's knife. Look it up.)
question everything
(47,479 posts)pretending to want to help and messing everything so the spouse says: oh, just leave this alone. I'll do it.
Oldest trick in the book.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)Fungus rules, and cutting it up is cool!
Drunken Irishman
(34,857 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Drunken Irishman
(34,857 posts)But after one of the characters was inexplicably written off without an explanation.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)How else to explain that character getting chopped?
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)Relax & enjoy the yummies.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)But I passed drinking 101 in college, so I'm good for cutting mushrooms (if it weren't for spell check, I might prove myself wrong).
longship
(40,416 posts)You never know, you know.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)I'm not sure mushrooms of any kind would make much of a difference.
longship
(40,416 posts)When one is kicked out of the kitchen ones momentum and position are orthogonal parameters. The extent that one knows one is the extent that one cannot know the other.
It's complicated, but if one has ever been kicked out of a kitchen, or some other room, one can understand the concept. With respect to kitchens, it's the Julia Child Uncertainty Principle.
In other words, regardless of momentum or position, your ass is out of the kitchen.
Bon appetite!
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)That was totally, unquestionably awesome.
longship
(40,416 posts)It really gets messed up when one has to consider the energy of getting kicked out of the kitchen as opposed to when one got kicked out. Not even Julia Child can help with that. That is called Emeril uncertainty and is summarized as...
BAM!! BAM!! Your ass is out of the kitchen right now (however with hopelessly indeterminate energy).
As I said earlier, it's complicated.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)but I forget what they are: position/momentum, energy/time, and Rick Perry?
longship
(40,416 posts)Rick Perry doesn't matter.
Sticking with the kitchen metaphors, Perry is half-baked. I guess that would be the Joshie Berger law of bad cooking.
Best regards.
Jackpine Radical
(45,274 posts)Or am I putting Descartes before de whores from Schrödinger's Cathouse?
Oh, the uncertainty of it all!
longship
(40,416 posts)Jackpine Radical
(45,274 posts)I'm in good company.
longship
(40,416 posts)Best regards.
Just stay away from the lutefisk. Horrible stuff.
Jackpine Radical
(45,274 posts)I know all about lutefisk. It reminds me--I spent 5 years on the Iron Range one winter, and an old-timer told me about the time a family of skunks moved in under his front porch in Hibbing. He threw lutefisk under there to drive them out. The skunks left in short order, but he soon developed another problem. A bunch of Norwegians moved in under the porch.
longship
(40,416 posts)Very funny. My mother was Suomilainen; my father was Norwegian.
My mother always said that a dumb Suomilainen was the same thing as a smart Norwegian.
My father would respond with a short verse:
Ten thousand Swedes marched through the weeds to lick one sick Norwegian.
All true.
Upon the Lillehammer Olympics in 1994, the Norwegians published a Scandinavian map with Sweden replaced by ocean. Also all true. (But they make such good drama.).
Jackpine Radical
(45,274 posts)All shased by vun Norveejun.
It used to be said that Norway exported their idiots to Denmark, thereby improving the average intelligence of both countries.
kwassa
(23,340 posts)when asked to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence ....
declared:
"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."
and what this has to do with this subject, I will never know.
Jackpine Radical
(45,274 posts)What was the topic?
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)winter is coming
(11,785 posts)mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)You can't drive if you have a finger missing, because then it would be difficult to determine which is your middle finger.
winter is coming
(11,785 posts)the finger.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)We try to ignore the obvious around here.
rocktivity
(44,576 posts)Last edited Thu Dec 20, 2018, 09:35 AM - Edit history (7)
From Bon Jovi's official Twitter site:
https://twitter.com/BonJovi/status/473111884099772416
Yesterday, my wife sustained a minor hand injury due 2 a piece of broken glass. Thank u NYC 911, NYFD EMT & Beth Israel Hospital staff! - JBJ
Of course, a "minor" hand injury requires neither a call to 911 nor a trip to the hospital. But she reportedly received stitches, was released a few hours later, and was seen dining out with her husband the very next evening.
rocktivity
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)That's bizarre. Holy overreaction batman.
When my daughter had a pull down, wall mounted map fall on her head at school, they kept her at school until I showed up (10 min later) to take her to the ER to get stitches. She also had a slight concussion. No 911 or EMT needed. What a waste of resources!
rocktivity
(44,576 posts)Last edited Thu Jul 3, 2014, 12:28 PM - Edit history (3)
and an ice pack! The school claimed he left on his own -- he must have gotten the ice by stopping off at the local strip joint.
Since Jon's wife reportedly ended up with stitches to her palm, they probably called 911 because she was bleeding uncontrollably.
rocktivity
betsuni
(25,531 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)whistler162
(11,155 posts)opiate69
(10,129 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)And I spore to myself that I wouldn't fall for that! Not again, anyway.
opiate69
(10,129 posts)There's no chanterelling how many DUzys a couple of fungis like us could harvest!
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)You've got to be shiitakeing me! We would never do that!
opiate69
(10,129 posts)msanthrope
(37,549 posts)opiate69
(10,129 posts)Sometimes it's nice to just wax-cap nostalgic.
msanthrope
(37,549 posts)msanthrope
(37,549 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)Don't you people have more to do with your time ?
msanthrope
(37,549 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)msanthrope
(37,549 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)msanthrope
(37,549 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Aerows
(39,961 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)opiate69
(10,129 posts)(Not a Khumb... but holy cripes!)
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)...a bigger pitcher of mead!!!
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)Sorry, but someone had to say it.
hobbit709
(41,694 posts)Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)whistler162
(11,155 posts)can you blame her?
Skittles
(153,160 posts)YES SIR
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)I'm 6'4" and she's 5'0", so she'd have a hard time reaching my butt with her foot.
Skittles
(153,160 posts)Last edited Tue Jun 3, 2014, 02:59 AM - Edit history (1)
yes INDEED
panader0
(25,816 posts)NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)There's a song by a Canadian group called, "The war of 1812," with a chorus of:
"And the white house burned, burned, burned... and we're the one's who did it."
Which your title evoked
MattBaggins
(7,904 posts)NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Dirty Socialist
(3,252 posts)But my wife is welcome to cut stuff if she wants.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)If not, you aren't doing your job
chrisstopher
(152 posts)Ya' onion currin' shroomhead!
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)It made other posts make more sense.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)...is a failure to curmunicate.
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)I mean, who could? Cur is not a verb.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)when sober.
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Puzzledtraveller
(5,937 posts)mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)They're good for the soul. Sans mushrooms
Squinch
(50,949 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Squinch
(50,949 posts)DirkGently
(12,151 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)... while drinking mead. I bet Michelle didn't kick HIS ass out of the kitchen! Although, maybe Sasha did...
kwassa
(23,340 posts)In general, modern contexts, the term Cur is a slang term for mongrel dogs with a distinct negative connotation.
Originally, however, the word "cur" referred to a certain British purpose-bred, short-tailed cattle droving dog known only from historical records, the cur dog.[1]:459460
Among dog experts, "curs" are any of several closely related North American purpose-bred treeing hounds, some of which have since achieved breed recognition.[2]
but you knew this already.
DavidDvorkin
(19,477 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)I can't believe this even meads to be said.
DavidDvorkin
(19,477 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)bigwillq
(72,790 posts)So she did the right thing.
(I am kidding. It's a joke. Not a very good one, but a joke).
Glassunion
(10,201 posts)Then you should go lay down and count to ten.