Ann Romney: Just Unzip Him And You'll See My Husband Isn't Stiff

[WillParkinson]

Ann Romney: Just Unzip Him And
You'll See My Husband Isn't Stiff

Let the Viagra jokes begin.

Ann Romney’s remarks came during an interview with Baltimore radio station WBAL, during which the host asked her, “And one of the things, Ann Romney, that folks talk about with your husband, Mitt Romney, and I’ve seen him in casual conversation-He comes off very smooth and okay. But sometimes he comes off stiff. Do you have to fight back some criticism, like ‘My husband isn’t stiff, OK?’” Laughing, Ann Romney responded, “Well, you know, I guess we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out because he is not!”

Alternate headline: "Ann Romney: My Husband Is Flaccid!"


http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2012/04/ann-romney-just-unzip-him-and-youll-see.html

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/04/ann-romney-says-campaign-will-unzip-the-real-mitt/ (Thank you for the link Wind Dancer!)

[randome]

1. This is either satire or a setup by the radio station host...

...that Ann Romney stupidly fell for.

Either way, it's hilarious. If it's true, I can't imagine Stephen Colbert reporting this without laughing.

[K Gardner]

38. And I just heard some pundit on MSNBC today saying they were going to let her loose because

"she isn't gaffe-prone" like her husband".

[CTyankee]

39. Yeah, I think that was on Morning Joe. They were talking about her somehow "saving" the women's

vote for Mitt.

I nearly spit out my coffee at that one.

Maybe the smarmy Willy Geist will smirk his way through that little item tomorrow.

Mika will get all embarrassed...

[K Gardner]

49. LOL ! Wonder if they'll even cover it. Too funny... n/t

[greenman3610]

63. so glad I'm not the only one who sees Geist as smarmy

[calimary]

86. Whenever I see him I find myself thinking

"how the hell did that little boy get a show? Is he even shaving yet? And who the hell is he in the first place?"

[The Wielding Truth]

40. Did she really say "unzip"? Where else could the zipper be? Wow, unzip. Really?

[anneboleyn]

45. Oooo, yes, I'd love to see what Colbert says. Romney's a softee!

I actually laughed out loud, and that has not happened very often this year given the nasty nature of the republican primary season.

Hilarious! We know more about Mitt now than we wanted to know. He's a real softee!

[DippyDem]

46. No, it's real! Tons of links by now! Google "Romney unzipped" LOL nt

[ProSense]

2. Here, she's

going to need one of these:

[aquart]

3. Leftover from April 1?

[Renew Deal]

61. I saw the video on the Daily Show

This is legit!

[aquart]

101. Just saw the video. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT!

Seriously, is there something strange in mansion water? Both of them?

[Marrah_G]

4. ...........

[Wind Dancer]

5. Yikes!

Now that is a visual I can do without.

You just can't make this shit up - I honestly thought it was satire!

Original link:

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/04/ann-romney-says-campaign-will-unzip-the-real-mitt/

[peace frog]

35. Oh, he's stiff alright

but not anyplace that would be unzipped.

[texshelters]

74. Comedians and satirists all over the nation

are both jealous they hadn't written this line, and salivating at the potential use of it.

I couldn't believe it at first until I heard the zipper come from her own mouth, so to speak.

PTxS

[zbdent]

6. interesting how her impression of him is based on one flaccid body part ...

maybe goes both ways? There has been evidence that he changes his position A LOT ...

[CJCRANE]

7. Inside every Mitt Romney

there's another Mitt Romney trying to get out.

Just unzip him and out he pops!

(A bit like a Russian doll).

[magical thyme]

54. out he pops? or out he flops? nt

[zeemike]

8. The real Mitt is a flaccid dick.

when you unzip him...Now that is too funny.

[caseymoz]

78. lol That's what makes it so good!

It's not just "unzip" but "let the real Mitt out." It hit the quadruple score for gaffes.

I sense awkwardness in that marriage now. More than there apparently used to be.

[zeemike]

91. Your senses might be right.

Many times people act out their problems with gaffs...maybe it is always flaccid.

[caseymoz]

93. Doubt it. They have drugs for it. nt

[SamG]

9. These people are CLUELESS!!! n/t

[sarge43]

10. They're bound and determine to give us hours of fun running up the snark flag.

She said up.

[AtheistCrusader]

11. This election season is going to be glorious, and a much needed reset after the last one.

Not to insult any clowns, but it's like a whole PARADE of clowns.

[K8-EEE]

12. Did Ann and Mitt meet at the BYU Awkward Socieity? nt

[dwig3d]

13. Well Ann

At least we know Mittens is a Dick

[Myrina]

14. OMFGZ did she really say that?

... really, really stupid enough to say THAT?

Those GOP women, still swimmin' in the shallow end of the IQ pool ...

[caseymoz]

79. My theory: drugs.

Ambien or something less innocent.

[Arkana]

15. What the fuck?

Ann Romney can't seriously be this dumb. She HAS to know what that sounded like.

Right?

















...Guys?

[CTyankee]

19. She said she had a "horse in every port" and didn't act embarrassed.

by contrast, michelle is so warm, so human. People want to hug her.

I can't imagine anyone wanting to hug Ann Romney, except maybe mitt...

[WillParkinson]

21. Doubtful...

She already admitted he isn't stiff.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

24. .

[Lochloosa]

32. My first DUzy Rec EVER.

[WillParkinson]

50. Well I am honored!

Thank you kindly.

[MADem]

68. Good gravy, who fathered those five kids? I shudder to think about it!!!!! nt

[Ikonoklast]

70. Well, they're small horses.

But still...

[texshelters]

75. She's a Republican married to a Republican liar who ruined lives and eliminated jobs...

how smart can she be?

PTxS

[bluedigger]

16. Is that why she says she is taking some time off from the stump?

[CTyankee]

41. a good one!

but now I have a visual in my head that is unwanted.

Pass the brain bleach, please...

[texshelters]

76. Excellent

I expect to see it on Colbert tonight...

PTxS

[hifiguy]

17. The jokes just write themselves, don't they?

Maher, Stewart and Colbert don't even have to try anymore, all they need to do is repeat what the Repukes are saying to get big laughs.

[benld74]

18. THATS what she said,,,,,,

[stevenleser]

20. Way, way, WAAAAAAYY too easy. Therefore, I am leaving it alone. nt

[Lone_Star_Dem]

22. "My husband isn't stiff." "I guess we'd better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romeny out"

No, don't. Really, don't go there, Ann. I'm sure I'm speaking for a vast majority of Americans. Just keep Mitt zipped up and his stiffness, or lack there of, a personal matter between the two of you. M'kay?

Oh, and you may want to talk to your doctor, Ann. Pharmacology can work wonders with such absent stiffness these days.

[caseymoz]

81. No! I don't want to see the real Mitt Romney that bad!

Tell you what Ann, we'll just call him lame if you agree to never unzip him.

[RZM]

23. So now he's a zip file instead of an Etch-a-Sketch?

How is that better?

[polly7]

25. Whaaaaat? She didn't really, did she? Funny though!

[LiberalEsto]

26. Limp & useless? nt

[LibertyLover]

27. Dear Mrs. Romney,

Thank you for your kind offer to expose your husband's shortcomings to the world. It is very brave of both of you to allow such unprecedented access to a candidate's private life. However, may I say, on behalf of many of us, that viewing your husband's private assets is one of the absolute last things we would care to do. That sort of activity belongs in the privacy of the bedroom between consenting adults and is not for the world at large to view. It's actually much like marriage equality when you think about it. What a consenting adult couple wants to do in the privacy of their home is their business and not the government's. Thank you.

[lastlib]

44. "Short-Comings"!!!

(you crack me up, LibertyLover!)

[calimary]

87. Oh Snap!

[Cirque du So-What]

28. If RawMoney were stiff

He'd be at least a foot-and-a-half taller.

[DippyDem]

29. Unzip Rmoney and he flops out!

And on the flip-flop side.....unzip him and he pops up!

[uponit7771]

30. +1

[lunatica]

31. A family that sticks their feet in their mouths together stays together

[caseymoz]

85. I don't know.

Somehow, I think conversations around the dinner table are at the Romneys are pretty awkward today.

[juajen]

95. I disagree. I believe they are laughing a lot at this gaffe!

[caseymoz]

100. If so, then they live in a permenant awkward state.

That they're used to, that they call love, but is only resembles it when viewed with damaged eyes.

[Paper Roses]

33. Best laugh of the day! n/t

[Initech]

34. Sounds like he needs some Viagra quick!

[Liberalynn]

65. That was my first thought too.

[ecstatic]

36. They are so weird! nt

[BB_Troll]

37. Oh my. Isn't that unfortunate.

[Brigid]

42. Attention Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert:

Fodder over here! Fodder over here!

[eShirl]

52. There's no sport shooting fish in a barrel, though.

In this kind of situation a good comedian response might be, "I got nothin'."

[Brigid]

53. Or. . .

Jon Stewart could run the clip while staring blankly into the camera, like he did during the Dubya years.

[caseymoz]

84. Stewart had it on last night.

The leadup he had was just classic.

But I'm sure he'll follow it up tonight.

[perdita9]

43. I feel bad for Ann Romney

I also suffer from foot in mouth disease but fortunately I don't do interviews on the radio

[joeybee12]

47. Totally clueless people say the funniest things! knr

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

48. Republicans have only one Boehner among the lot of them

[crazylikafox]

56. Duzy Duzy Duzy

Actually, this entire thread is a Duzy

[SmileyRose]

97. yep duzy

whole thread is great but yours is best IMHO

[eShirl]

51. Nice BURN, Ann!

Payback for that "heavyweight" comment a few weeks ago?

[GoneOffShore]

55. That's now on my Facebook page.

[Aerows]

57. I use the name "Mitt Romney" as Republican repellant

They scurry like roaches if you mention the name when they get on one of their diatribes. It works great. Say "Mitt Romney is your candidate" and they end the conversation quickly.

It's beautiful if you don't want to discuss politics, but it's even more convenient if they know you are a Democrat and are trying to avoid getting into it.

[polly7]

58. OMG ......... she really DID say that? I honestly thought it was satire.

[IMG][/IMG]

[sellitman]

59. People have compared him to Bob Dole.

Maybe it was prescient?

[hobbit709]

60. JuanitaJean's take on this.

http://juanitajean.com/2012/04/02/oh-my-god-no/

[WI_DEM]

62. doesn't surprise me, Mrs. Romney

[MrScorpio]

64. He's a limp dick

Exactly what we all need in the White House

[McCamy Taylor]

66. Eeeks. Americans do not want a "flaccid" president.

[MADem]

67. Time for a comedic field day--a gift that keeps on giving! nt

[Brettongarcia]

69. She's that dumb/straight/repressed - and therefore, exhibiting Freudian slips at every step

Did you catch her "I have two horses in every port" remark a few weeks ago?

The problem with really, really, REALLY straight, Victorian, repressed people, said Freud? Is that their respressed sexuality, being a major urge, eventually surfaces; in some kind of unconscious and unnatural way. In this case? As Freudian slips, unconscious double-entendres.

But if that is what she's like ... then what about HIM? Who knows what kind of Freudian slips/disasters we might see, in a Romney presidency.

[caseymoz]

83. You know, she really said it like she meant it.

Her delivery was so strange, I could believe it was on-purpose.

[JHB]

71. This realy is one of the all-time best political spouse gaffes

Long after Mitt is gone, this will live on in the books about political boners.

...or maybe not those books, but...

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

72. I'm beginning to wonder about the real reason Seamus was kept apart from the family in the car

Since Mitt can't get it up, it might explain Ann's fascination with horses. Might it also explain Mitt's apparent jealousy towards Seamus?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

73. That's what she said.....no really, that's what she said!

[MissMarple]

77. "...I can have the ability to kind of talk him off the rails..."

This is the scariest part, just the temperment for the leader of the free world. It's just a bit further down on the abcnews transcript.

"And Mitt can get VERY intense, and I can have the ability to kind of talk him off the rails sometimes and say, ‘Hey let’s look at what is really important and let’s do that now.’”

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/04/ann-romney-says-campaign-will-unzip-the-real-mitt/

[opihimoimoi]

80. The ultimate gaffe of the season yet to date....these guys keep on giving....

[caseymoz]

82. Mitt? Stiff? Why he's got a saltpeter personality.

[Jamaal510]

88. ...

[IMG][/IMG]

[alarimer]

89. But he'll switch to whatever position is good for her.

The jokes write themselves.

[jmowreader]

90. If he's not stiff when his wife unzips him, that may be a large part of the problem

Now, when he loses the election, the Romneys have a long, lucrative career in the Advertising of Boner Pills industry waiting for them.

"Hi, I'm Ann Romney, wife of the man who got 20 electoral votes in the last election. Remember when I said my husband wasn't stiff when you unzipped him? Thanks to Cialis, that is no longer the case."

[CrispyQ]

92. I passed over this thread earlier because I was sure it was from The Onion.

[fascisthunter]

94. I see she is a weak woman who lives on her knees willingly

[tblue37]

96. Apparently hoof in mouth disease is contagious. nt

[Blue_In_AK]

98. That's really very, very funny.

[Rex]

99. Um...

no.

[Godot51]

102. New slogan

Campaign slogan 2012: "Unzip the Real Mitt!"

[KurtNYC]

103. You know what happens when Mitt takes viagra?

A: Nothing -- he's already tall.

Q: What's the difference between Mitt Romney and Shaggy from Scooby Doo?
A: Shaggy let's his dog ride INSIDE the car and Shaggy has a clue.

Q: How do you screw Isotoner and Totes?
A: Unzip Mitt.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

104. If someone at a party asked "Hey, Mitt, got any Viagra?"

He would probably answer "Yes, I own 20 percent of the Phizer corporation"

And he'd think he answered the question.

[dynasaw]

105. She's a Mormon Woman

If you've ever been around inside the Mormon culture you'll find a lot of women like her: Clueless and proud of their lack of knowledge or contact with the "gentile" world. She probably doesn't even know she's made a gaffe with sexual overtones.

[libodem]

106. Yep

Clueless. Wide eyed wonder. And proud not to be in contact with the real world. Yep, got that right.

[CakeGrrl]

110. It's a Sympathy Trap!

Who would want to pile onto such an endearingly clueless couple?

[libodem]

107. Unzip him

And you will find a reptillian reprobate, entity, that looks just like Cheney's natural form. Creatures from the astral plane or outer-space.

[Angry Dragon]

108. Willard is talking to Herman Cain

[Harry Monroe]

109. "Pop Goes the Weasel"?

Too much information Ms. Romney. We really don't need to know.

[schmice]

111. This is reminiscent of Arnold Palmer's wife

who, when asked what she did to bring him luck before a tournament, said "I kiss his balls."

[malaise]

112. My only response

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww -

[joshcryer]

113. OMG how did I miss this? Thanks for kicking it schmice and malaise!

Unbelievable!