General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsLet's talk about sexism on DU
Last edited Tue Jul 15, 2014, 03:47 PM - Edit history (1)
3:45- editing to clarify. The IM was sent to me by one AAO, in response to this IM to him, from me:
Glad to see you self-deleted. I'm sorry that you don't grasp why the reference to Congreve's line is so sexist. Also, you seem to be confusing me with someone else. I'm frequently at odds with quite a few of the women here who are more involved in feminism than I.
Also, I'd appreciate it if you didn't go after me in terms that insult people with psych disabilities. Those folks fight prejudice day in and day out. And I know. I worked protecting the rights of people with mental illness.
thank you.
I just got this message from a male DUe, AAO
Cali - you are a cunt. Wallow in your pussy juice you whore!
Mail Message
Fuck you in the ass with a broom handle, then kneel down and swallow my cock. You are a VERY sorry excuse for a woman.
Pardon my French! LOL!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=inbox&view=1547856
Now for the context:
AAO posted an op riffing off the idiom, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". By the time I joined the thread, someone had already alerted on the op because of this. The jury voted 7-0 not to lock. Here's the thread with my comments and his.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025242454
I'm posting this because I think it is indicative of a problem. AAO claimed to be an ally of women and yet anyone spewing this kind of hate toward women is clearly not an ally. I also found it problematic that there were some agreeing with him in that thread and that the jury clearly didn't know why this idiom is sexist and offensive.
This is pretty shocking to me- and I'm a tough nut.
CBGLuthier
(12,723 posts)as to why some men are so filled with hate. I do not know what to say. Some people are just plain SHIT.
cali
(114,904 posts)now. I wanted it to be seen. I think the denial that there is a vocal minority of men who are sexist here, needs to confronted.
Enthusiast
(50,983 posts)Sorry you have had to endure this kind of abuse.
cali
(114,904 posts)women here even more.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)it isnt like you even own it. it is the fact that any piece of shit, scum bag, bottom feeding weanie of a man had the AUDACITY to say this shit to you.
the pissed, escalates.
whathehell
(29,067 posts)as to that kind of hate, someone termed it a kind of "sexual racism".
Capt. Obvious
(9,002 posts)*jaw drop*
cali
(114,904 posts)your op and your comments to me
Mail Message
Glad to see you self-deleted. I'm sorry that you don't grasp why the reference to Congreve's line is so sexist. Also, you seem to be confusing me with someone else. I'm frequently at odds with quite a few of the women here who are more involved in feminism than I.
Also, I'd appreciate it if you didn't go after me in terms that insult people with psych disabilities. Those folks fight prejudice day in and day out. And I know. I worked protecting the rights of people with mental illness.
thank you.
eva
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)I'm sorry that happened to you.
Scuba
(53,475 posts)cbdo2007
(9,213 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)them the c-word and telling them to get on their knees to swallow their cock? is bickering? it's violent horrible language, not bickering. and it's wrong to call it such. sick.
Response to cali (Reply #7)
Post removed
cali
(114,904 posts)and your response are not acceptable here. disgusting to call threats and vile crap "bickering". go away. now.
Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)JI7
(89,250 posts)problem
TDale313
(7,820 posts)Those kinds of threats and abuse are *not* acceptable, and aren't something women on DU and on the internet should just have to tolerate/deal with. That poster should absolutely be banned, and anyone who could read that and just shrug it off as no big deal should do some serious soul searching.
Orrex
(63,213 posts)I'm disappointed that the hidden post didn't elicit more juror comments, but here you go:[hr]
Mail Message
On Tue Jul 15, 2014, 03:28 PM an alert was sent on the following post:
so have them blocked and move on with your life
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5243468
REASON FOR ALERT
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.
ALERTER'S COMMENTS
This poster told a female poster to "get a thicker skin" after she received a DUMail from a male poster calling her the c-word and telling her to suck his cock. This is hurtful, rude, and insensitive. Can we please hide this?
JURY RESULTS
You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Tue Jul 15, 2014, 03:35 PM, and the Jury voted 5-2 to HIDE IT.
Juror #1 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: I assume whoever sent the message has been banned.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: The... person who sent Cali that message should be banned.
The poster who's defending the sender should get his head screwed on straight.
Hide this ugly post.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: defends the indefensible
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.
Electric Monk
(13,869 posts)alp227
(32,026 posts)cyberswede
(26,117 posts)Nobody deserves that kind of treatment - no matter what "side" they're on. You should self-delete your reply.
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)cyberswede
(26,117 posts)Enthusiast
(50,983 posts)Don't we have enough false equivalency as it is.
polichick
(37,152 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)be banned too.
Response to cali (Reply #31)
Post removed
JI7
(89,250 posts)LexVegas
(6,067 posts)Sad.
Enthusiast
(50,983 posts)I see it as support for treatment you received
NCTraveler
(30,481 posts)Sheldon Cooper
(3,724 posts)m-lekktor
(3,675 posts)I don't trust the jury system here so i will refrain from saying what i really think about that person. holy fkn CRAP.
City Lights
(25,171 posts)Pattern with this poster.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)steve2470
(37,457 posts)BainsBane
(53,034 posts)There are some who make sport out of this kind of thing.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Some people absolutely disgust me. The original person who attacked you and the poster who made light of it come to mind.
JI7
(89,250 posts)how can you even equate the two.
but i'm not really surprised as certain attacks on women seem acceptable to many.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)If that is nothing more than bickering to you, then you don't belong here and neither does he.
Response to CTyankee (Reply #34)
Gormy Cuss This message was self-deleted by its author.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)alienate me because I am your ally" are the ones who REALLY hate women.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)if that is what it was it was a form of "mansplaining."
I'm getting too damn old for this...
Squinch
(50,950 posts)and he knows because he's a big ally.
Seriously, that's a sick mind that one has. And, though many people here who I respect are surprised, I am not. He's shown little bits of his sick ass self pretty regularly.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)riddance
ally my ass
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)on the evil HOF. They had one for Quinnox. It's always the fault of the HOF. The fact Cali has probably never posted in HOF is irrelevant.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)none of us was around. and STILL
we are blamed.
that alone is probably a whole gender thing. always blame the woman, lol.
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)Opened the article and intended to read it. Certainly I saw the scorned remark as sexist, but I didn't comment because---well, I can't fight about everything.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i HATE that one.
woman scorned my ass. look at men that are scorned. they fuckin murder.
lets giggle about that boys, among ourselves.
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)When the thread was brand new. I didn't see any of that until her OP here.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)JI7
(89,250 posts)for being anti women .
i wonder if they thought she was someone else. that post got hidden but it was an attack that is usually used against you and a few others .
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)it is an automatic go to with any woman that says anything. the group of a handful is 100 or more, when the man simply wants to blame hof.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)incurred because they crapped all over women here, I say let's all be proud of that fact. If they fear HoF so much, we ought to feel good about that.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)it to jsut a few loud voices. they want to do that so they can say, see, it is only the few. everyone else is on our side.
they totally ignore that so many of the issues are brought up by mostly people outside hof
the quinnox thread, over 50 various duers calling him out. well beyond the few hof members in that thread
they purposely ignore all the many recommends to feminists threads. they continually ignore that the majority of Ops in gd are not from hof. and they say us with everything so people will roll eyes.
it si the same thing the outside world has done with the word feminist. why our young women reject the word. they do not hate men after all.
that is what just calling it hof, regardless, clearly otherwise, is so consistently done.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)And when those reasonable people see that these guys are saying, "It's all HoF that was mean to me" they think, "I was in there with the HoF people." I think it makes it a label more people identify with.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)and i think it certainly back fires when the knee jerk... it is hof, it is hof.
but, what is said? when a poster is accused of being hof?
if you know my posts, i am critical of hof. not me. no sirree. i am not a hof. hu hu.
it is also reinforcing the knee jerk need to disassociate themselves from hof cause the men and a handful of women have done such a good job demonizing by word of mouth, over and over and over again.
i think some have been so continually accused of hof, they have just given up trying to defended themselves, lol, against being hof, adn now readily participate in threads in hof.
it is interesting.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)and support the efforts against sexism here.
ETA: Did you see this post: http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5244832
polly7
(20,582 posts)Well, I can say, it's a great place to make call-outs thinking they won't be seen - that 'handful of women demonizing'? - we have long memories - harvesting safe haven medical info, calling us sexist terms and having a huge laugh over it, calling victims as myself rape-enablers, pedophile-enablers, dogs - now why on earth wouldn't posters who've been subjected to that and much, much more care to join a group that claims to be inclusive to women and fight for women's dignity and rights?
Hilarious!
But, there are groups that DO care about all women and also post very important articles and information - I love the non divisiveness and the lack of all the mean-girl and authoritarian shit. These people actually care more about the issues than how they're seen on an internet forum.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)quinnox started and OP stating
sc ruling not a big deal
women strip down to protest for us men
women, you are hysterical
ok folks, lets trash hobby lobby so we do not hear the women
in a very small period, it was clear manipulation of message, against women.
because many people, far from only hof, heard it, they spoke up.
and the people that called everyone mobs. swarms. the people that tried to keep it contained to hof.
that was wrong.
that is denying voice.
i wont ever be comfortable with that.
adn i have to ask the people that did not participate. that just pointed the finger. why werent they part of the voice?
Squinch
(50,950 posts)were plenty of threads that rose up around his trolling by others that I did see.
But as you say, during that storm, there were many who did speak up. And hard as his ilk tried to keep it "an HoF issue" they were not at all successful.
That was wrong. And he did try to deny the voices of all those women and men who were rightfully outraged. But his efforts didn't work. I think the argument that people learn from the feminists on DU being harassed is ridiculous, but I think people ARE learning the truth of what the feminists are saying when they see these trolling posts that outrage them.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)BainsBane
(53,034 posts)It's too trivial and not the "real" women's issues that serious people care about. When we talk about rape and domestic violence, we are "playing victim." When a major SCOTUS decision is handed down, we are told we are making a big deal about nothing. Those people who claim to care about "real" issues affecting women don't appear to have found that issue "real" enough to bother commenting on. It does make you wonder.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i know you know. but it is all tied in. the core would be to stop the denigration and degradation, then they would not be able to accomplish the big stuff.
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)We know that.
Answer my PM!!
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)you are bad baines.
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)I just think reality should enter into the discussion at some point. But sure, I see your point.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)I'm a bit foggy here...I'm on nurse duty for my husband recovering from an extraction of a molar today. And he's probably going to get "something" done to correct his shortness of breath problem once his chemical stress test results are available...a double whammy. I'm steeling myself for news of a stent or whatever...he hasn't been feeling too good lately.
well, I'll keep checking in at regular intervals on how this plays out...altho I suspect AAO is over and done with and that's that...
Squinch
(50,950 posts)CTyankee
(63,912 posts)hey, I've even got a nice little art thread all ready to launch in GD on Friday! You know, I can relax and get away from it all when I research and write on art for DU...I started doing it when he was sleeping every day during his recuperation from his first spinal surgery and it was real therapy for me!
Squinch
(50,950 posts)CTyankee
(63,912 posts)Capt. Obvious
(9,002 posts)WhollyHeretic
(4,074 posts)That reveals just about as much about you as that email does about that violent scum.
AgingAmerican
(12,958 posts)That the poster read the caption of the op and responded to it.
Or they are just as vile as the person the OP addresses....
steve2470
(37,457 posts)It is damn close to hate speech, if not actual hate speech.
La Lioness Priyanka
(53,866 posts)when posting on du.
City Lights
(25,171 posts)Ugh. What a disgusting post. for you.
MineralMan
(146,317 posts)You're walking on dangerous ground with this, I believe.
pnwmom
(108,980 posts)to spread his misogynistic hate on DU.
People need to know how bad this can get.
I am shocked that anyone would send a private message like that. Aren't you? Or do you think it's "bickering"?
msanthrope
(37,549 posts)Iggo
(47,558 posts)That was one-sided, yo.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)whathehell
(29,067 posts)a verbal rape..It's as ugly and hate-filled as many racist comments I've heard
It reveals an ugly bone deep hate for women.
AgingAmerican
(12,958 posts)It ain't about 'bickering'.
Response to cali (Original post)
cyberswede This message was self-deleted by its author.
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)That's what happens when a certain population of the board is allowed to get away with even the smallest offense...they become emboldened. It's why so many have been asking for a stronger stance against sexism on this board. I'm sorry you got such a vile pm. From what I understand though, you aren't the first who has received disgusting PMs like that. It's a real problem here at DU and many would like to pretend it isn't happening, or that it's only happening to a 'select few' who, some believe, deserve it (which, obviously, is bullshit). It should be considered a problem for everyone if it is an issue for anyone.
cali
(114,904 posts)kcr
(15,317 posts)The usual suspects. It has gotten out of control and that's a big reason. It's sad to see on DU.
cali
(114,904 posts)Zorra
(27,670 posts)Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)City Lights
(25,171 posts)Thank you for saying it.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)boston bean
(36,221 posts)You are so correct. You are righteous in your summary. You get it. You understand. You vocalize. Thank you!!!!!!!!!
JI7
(89,250 posts)when was this sent to you ?
cali
(114,904 posts)CTyankee
(63,912 posts)The anger is truly frightening. That was an abusive and inexcusable PM to you. It was also a threat. That behavior should not be tolerated here.
And I truly can't see a 7-0 jury leave on the alert. I would have voted to lock in a heartbeat.
cali
(114,904 posts)and why it's so sexist- and it surely is.
Yes, the anger is concerning and it is inexcusable.
hfojvt
(37,573 posts)like a man alerted and put on time out.
newcriminal
(2,190 posts)This is disgusting and anyone that sees it differently is disgusting. I'm sorry you had to put up with this filth of a human being.
cali
(114,904 posts)I guess what I'm trying to point out in posting this, is there really is an element on DU that has a lot of anger toward women.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)when forms of sexism that have been treated as acceptable for ages are challenged. These little insidious messages that women are less than are simply not seen as the sexist propaganda they are.
cali
(114,904 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Last edited Tue Jul 15, 2014, 05:05 PM - Edit history (1)
women walk cause they are scorned. i hate playing the fuckin game that a woman scorned when men times a zillion has more of an issue with being scorned.
it is merely used by men to giggle at the hysteria of women.
cali
(114,904 posts)AAO and belittling women who point out how sexist it is. Look at what the jury did. Disturbing.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i have brought it up a handful of times. guy particularly like using (a few) knowing damn well what they are doing. kinda like starting a thread about women being hysterical over sc decision.
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)What the actual fuck?
malaise
(269,024 posts)Someone sent that to you?
Hope that person is banned.
Spazito
(50,349 posts)The DUer that sent it needs to be banned immediately. Like you, I am not easily shocked but that message shocked and disgusted me, it is nauseating.
840high
(17,196 posts)NCTraveler
(30,481 posts)MineralMan
(146,317 posts)Alert on that DU Mail. Whoever posted it will be summarily banned from DU. It is a threat, and the admins do not tolerate threats like that in DU Mail.
Alternatively, DU Mail any MIRT member with the user name if the poster has less than 100 posts. MIRT will investigate and act, if it can identify the poster as a disruptive intruder, which seems very likely in this case.
Such DU Mail threats simply are not tolerated on DU.
I'm a MIRT member, so you can DU the info to me if you wish.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)Is there something holding up that process that we just don't know about?
MineralMan
(146,317 posts)I don't know whether there are admins available, but multiple alerts have been sent. It has to be an admin decision.
maddezmom
(135,060 posts)MIRT has alerted admin and I also have sent an email to admin.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)maddezmom
(135,060 posts)Which is what just happened.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=profile&uid=291225&sub=trans
Scout
(8,624 posts)ooooooh i bet he's whining away big time how the "hyper feminists" ganged up on him and done him wrong!
got what you deserved dudebro.
DURHAM D
(32,610 posts)MIRT members -
Agschmid
arcane1
Autumn
Boom Sound 416
cyberswede
Democracyinkind
discntnt_irny_srcsm
hrmjustin
irisblue
libodem
maddezmom
NRaleighLiberal
octoberlib
Ptah
Rhiannon12866
Terra Alta
UrbScotty
Warren DeMontague
William769
Baitball Blogger
Behind the Aegis
CreekDog
hunter
ismnotwasm
Kali
Kingofalldems
Logical
MineralMan
OKNancy
opiate69
pinto
SidDithers
X_Digger
zappaman
It would be hard to classify that team as a bunch of "Hyper-Feminists" as it looks pretty balanced to me.
Thanks MIRT
City Lights
(25,171 posts)Glad the system worked.
KamaAina
(78,249 posts)uppityperson
(115,677 posts)ColesCountyDem
(6,943 posts)MineralMan
(146,317 posts)CTyankee
(63,912 posts)Not that the system didn't work. It did. But it was shocking. In my 10 years here, I don't think I have seen anything this horrific. It certainly aired some really nasty stuff.
I meant to add that the admins have to consider more than just AAO's words here. They have to examine why it was seemingly so easy for AAO to think it was okay to say this to a fellow DUer. Because in a way, you could see this as a kind of "hostile environment" issue for women who participate and engage here at DU.
TreasonousBastard
(43,049 posts)why bring it up here? And, btw, was it AAO or some other shitheel who sent it? As long as you brought it up, inquiring minds want to know.
How is this "sexism on DU"? It's one jerk who presumably will soon be banned for this. Does DU agree with this sort of thing? Is it that common?
(Note-- If this thread is alerted on, and I expect it will be, it wasn't me.)
cali
(114,904 posts)yes, it's a small minority of the men here who harbor such hate for women, but it's a vocal minority and of late seems to be an increasing one.
thucythucy
(8,067 posts)Well, let's see.
Was the message sexist? Hell yes.
Did it arrive through DU, from a DU member? Thus, "on DU?" Yes again.
Seems pretty self-evident to me.
I'm hoping and expecting this jerk will be toast within minutes of being reported.
If not, well then Houston, we indeed have a problem.
Gormy Cuss
(30,884 posts)and if admin doesn't ban this sorry excuse for an adult at least the rest of us will be aware of it.
And this is sexism on DU because apparently this arse thought it was acceptable on DU to send someone a message like that.
Dr. Strange
(25,921 posts)Transparency is good.
Chan790
(20,176 posts)JI7
(89,250 posts)NCTraveler
(30,481 posts)1) Is it sexist? yes
2) Was the act perpetrated on DU? yes
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)when they throw their little tantrum of vile and disgusting pieces of shits do they get kicked off. in the meantime the rest of us are dealing with their derailing, belittling and light to moderate sexism regularly.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)And I believe that you sincerely don't get what the problem is.
uppityperson
(115,677 posts)Texasgal
(17,045 posts)This was a nasty, nasty display of sexsim... yup! Right here on DU where it shouldn't happen AT ALL. Wake up! It happens more than you'd think!
Sheldon Cooper
(3,724 posts)They deserve no protection. None at all. So please let the rest of us know his identity for future reference.
JI7
(89,250 posts)redqueen
(115,103 posts)In a thread here about a misogynist GOP woman who portrayed all women as stupid and all men as smart, DUers are going after her with sexist attacks.
It is simply the culture we live in and it will take a LONG time to change it.
As for that idiom, it's not only sexist, it's projection - a complete reversal of reality.
Women (and their children, and their families) are routinely murdered by partners and ex-partners. Not the other way around.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)I'm only shocked that it was AAO. It seems so out of character; but one never knows until someone shows themselves, then just believe them.
intaglio
(8,170 posts)7 hides in 90 days, some seriously disturbing.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)where he supports, where he dismisses. his giggles here and there. no surprise.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)Must have missed them, as I had really only encountered him in 1 or 2 other groups.
But his treatment of Cali has me saying, "good riddance. "
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)had to call her the b word and that did not even make any sense.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)apparently the real problem is that a jury decided it was hide-worthy to do so.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)gonna go read up on what is being said and to hear the same old poster say....
I AM A WOMAN, and i think the b word is acceptable.
never having stood on the side of women, ever.
whathehell
(29,067 posts)That's some of the most violent and hate-filled language I've heard anywhere,
and certainly on this board.
dilby
(2,273 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)dilby
(2,273 posts)Good to know.
cali
(114,904 posts)dilby
(2,273 posts)But yeah people say vile shit on here, DU reminds me a lot of like Church. Everyone has their Sunday best on when posting in the forums but behind closed doors they let their true selves shine.
cali
(114,904 posts)and actually what I meant, was the im to me is indicative of a problem here on DU and some men who flat out hate women.
dilby
(2,273 posts)There is a lot of ideology on this site and people seem to only focus on what affects them. In your case I think what was said was horrendous but bringing it out into the open is just going to cause people to say, "that is not me, I did not say that, that is some other guy and us men are not all like that". Which will snowball into a not all men argument.
The solution is to report it to the admin and have the guy banned and any time you see something like that then report that as well. Eventually the problem will be solved through attrition. The not all men argument just lumps everyone together and then you end up getting half the population of the forums pitted against the other half due to a problem being caused by 2-3%.
cali
(114,904 posts)admin isn't here.
and your false equivalency is disturbing.
dilby
(2,273 posts)The one I can spot about every 10 posts, thanks for bringing this to light so everyone can get a little hate on today. Guy was banned without you needing to post his email, not sure what else you are looking for the banning was all that was needed.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)and why are you not in the group standing up for right, but instead point the finger and call them the mob, or haters?
our women and girls are being attacked on line by this garbage to the point of their death.
i will stand on the side of right, while you stand on the sidelines.
i will support the women and girls adn shut down the hate. while you shift the blame.
dilby
(2,273 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)Squinch
(50,950 posts)they are.
And a way to avoid the "not all men" argument would be if guys wouldn't make it when no one is saying "all men."
thucythucy
(8,067 posts)would be if men--only some men, let me hasten to add, because if I didn't sure as hell someone would call me on it--didn't seem so eager to cry "mob mentality" and "crucifixion" in defense of a man revealing himself to be a would-be rapist.
Really, I'm stunned that the condemnation of this jerk isn't universal. It gives me an insight, though, into how so many men have gotten away with this shit, and for so long.
Yeah, threatening to rape someone is not nice. But let's not all make a big to-do about it!
Squinch
(50,950 posts)is MOB MENTALITY and CRUCIFIXION.
A thread in which people voice disgust over rape threats MUST BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS! And NO ONE MUST KNOW that the rape threats happened in the first place because that would be UNSEEMLY!@! ... Oh, yeah, and the rape threats themselves are sorta bad too. If you look at them in a certain light. Though they aren't much different from women saying things are misogynistic....
You can't make this stuff up.
But there's no sexism on DU! No sir. It's all just feminist allies. Some of whom like to threaten rape.
thucythucy
(8,067 posts)this is precisely the dynamic that blames the victims of sexual violence and abuse for coming forward. If only survivors would keep quiet about their experiences, the world would be so much better! Rape, and threats of rape are bad, but what's worse is bringing rape and threats of rape out into the light where we all have to deal with them. To do that is just so "unseemly." Again,
What happened to Cali was abuse, and that's a fact. To say that she, in responding to that abuse, should have first used "the proper channels" -- rather than gone public with the evidence of what happened -- is just so fucking typical of how abuse survivors are expected to "make nice" in the face of the most vile attacks. And then, to cap it off, they often also then get blamed for "not resisting"--not making a big enough stink about it. It's a vortex of contradictory, mutually exclusive, mind-bending social bullshit around sexual violence that has perpetuated the same evil shit for millennia.
Kudos to Cali for having the guts, the insight, the clarity of thought to do precisely the right thing here--expose the perpetrator, hold him accountable, and then to educate the community, and thus make at least this little corner of the net a better and (hopefully) safer place for all of us. She represents absolutely the best DU has to offer, and I'm proud to have her back.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)on these topics is that the person who wants it shushed simply doesn't want to be made uncomfortable. Which is monstrously selfish.
That poster kept saying, "If she had gone through channels, we wouldn't have THIS." I still don't know what "this" he was referring to. What "this" would be worse than having people unknowingly interact with a man who was leveling rape threats?
Yes, Cali did EXACTLY the right thing. In some posts around this issue, people are saying that they do not always report when they receive threatening PM's. THAT is the "this" we should be afraid of.
I think it is safe to ignore those whose knee-jerk reaction is to say, "Shut up about this." As you point out, they are angered by the victim and there is nothing the victim could do that they would deem appropriate or correct.
JI7
(89,250 posts)Squinch
(50,950 posts)You should let the rest of us know if we are dealing with a sick asshole like that.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)Crazy.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)to be fair, i only alerted on a couple.
one was doing it all over the board and he was allowed to stay, so i saw no reason for them to take threats in a pm seriously.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)People are sometimes awful.
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)That's just plain wrong.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i think they are aware. one was flagged, throwing the cum here and there at me. it was seen. Ops started. they know. i was patted on the head and told the man was drunk. what is an OP with a 100 reply from the men that hate me, saying the ugliest of things and host doing nothing. he was drunk....
fuck that.
hfojvt
(37,573 posts)is somehow indicative of a larger problem.
"sexism on DU" should involve more than one fairly short-term DUer.
I suppose it might mean something if he hadn't been banned.
What am I missing?
cali
(114,904 posts)for his veiled misogyny. There are more than a few of him around DU. It's a problem. Anytime some guy talks about feminists as extreme or hyper, it's a problem.
hfojvt
(37,573 posts)even all of the hidden posts.
"He got endorsements for his veiled misogyny"
Where? You mean in that thread? A thread that used a fairly well known quote and was looking forward to Republicans being defeated. Some people, maybe all of them male, maybe some of each gender, didn't mind the common quote and applauded the idea of Republicans being defeated.
Of course, I cannot see the OP because it was self-deleted.
I just checked my own posts where two or four people were mocking me for complaining about misandry in an article which got scores of recs.
Also, he was not talking about feminists as extreme. I believe he said that some people are hyper-feminists. To say that some DUers are hyper-feminists is not all that different from saying that some DUers are misgynists.
cali
(114,904 posts)Also, he was not talking about feminists as extreme. I believe he said that some people are hyper-feminists. To say that some DUers are hyper-feminists is not all that different from saying that some DUers are misgynists.
just lol.
your blindness is quite disturbing. and I'm being kind here.
hfojvt
(37,573 posts)thanks for your kind words
post #3 says "I cannot win around these hyper-feminists"
Does that say that feminists are extreme or does that say there are some hyper-feminists?
Compared to what you said "Anytime some guy talks about feminists as extreme or hyper, it's a problem."
There is nothing in that first statement that says "feminists are extreme" it is just talking about a subset of feminists. If it is okay to talk about sexists or misogynists at DU, then why isn't it okay to talk about hyper-feminists?
Blindness isn't as disturbing to me as nastiness. So spare me any more of your kind words.
cali
(114,904 posts)sexist- which considering his IM to me, couldn't be fucking clearer.
Yes. I am thoroughly disgusted by your posts in this thread. YOU evidently don't find rape threats nasty, but YOU chide me for being nasty?
sick.
hfojvt
(37,573 posts)Now that right there is a perfect example of why some people get pissed off at you.
Where the fuck do you get off saying bullsh*t like that? Where the fuck did I say anything like that at all?
I chide you for being nasty?
Guess what, dear? I am not all that fond of people calling me "disturbing" or "sick".
That's probably my illness talking though. I am sure that normal and decent people are perfectly fine with that kind of rhetoric directed at them.
What I was "caught up in" is whether one twisted space frog who posted on DU for a short time is some evidence of "sexism at DU". So I asked quite reasonably "what am I missing?" Only to be told that I am, apparently, Alice Cooper.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)hfojvt
(37,573 posts)No I believe I was just expounding on the difference between saying
feminists are extreme
and
I can't win around these hyper-feminists
and 43% of the jury voted to not hide that post.
I probably would have voted to hide just because I don't think we need to have posts that say "some DUers suck"
but by that standard this OP would be hidden as well.
Guy Whitey Corngood
(26,501 posts).
Comrade Grumpy
(13,184 posts)NCTraveler
(30,481 posts)is just under the skin of a number of posters here. Most are able to contain it to verbiage that will not get them banned. Every couple of months a known poster will not be able to control it and has an outburst and gets banned. They attempt to get others on board with them about their concern of "hyper-feminists".
cali
(114,904 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)MerryBlooms
(11,770 posts)Response to cali (Original post)
Blue_Adept This message was self-deleted by its author.
JI7
(89,250 posts)views and someone posted it and everyone made fun of them it would be ok .
but why does this need to stay hidden ?
Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)That's all I'm saying. instead of this mass rush to mob mentality and crucifixion of someone, justified or not. That's just my stance as being a forum admin over the last twenty five years. It's better for the community and interaction in general rather than inciting things. Again, I'm in no way defending AAO and his ass would have hit the banhammer instantly for it. But as an admin, I would have preferred the incident brought to me first and handled. Now, if it takes the admin/hosts here more than a minute to deal with AAO, it looks like they're supporting him, slacking or taking too long in figuring out if its justifiable.
But hey, we're seeing mob mentality being preferred. So by all means, go for it.
JI7
(89,250 posts)whether some thread belongs in this group or that group and letting the admin deal with it.
cali
(114,904 posts)I think he's representative of a small number of very vocal men here who HATE women, I decided to post it. This is not a crucifixion- that is a very poor choice of word- nor, obviously, is there a mob here. No harm can be done AAO as in a real mob. and yes, you really are defending him in a way.
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)when complaining that a guy who sent rape threats is getting treated unfairly?
nomorenomore08
(13,324 posts)Squinch
(50,950 posts)Bobbie Jo
(14,341 posts)Pigs like this guy need to be publicly decloaked on their way out the door.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)DURHAM D
(32,610 posts)so we can avoid it given your very bizarre reaction to the PM.
JimDandy
(7,318 posts)to someone on the ground that gets a rape threat from a neighbor to tell only the police about the threat but not anyone else the neighbor interacts with. Good grief.
I hope the admins of this forum pass along AAO's rape threat to the police in the jurusdiction where he lives.
Sheldon Cooper
(3,724 posts)The women on this site deserve to know who is walking among us, and simply referring it to Admin may not make that possible. I fully expect the person to be banned, but if he's not? I sure as HELL want to know who he is.
Bobbie Jo
(14,341 posts)I'm glad this knuckle-dragging idiot was exposed for ALL to see.
Zero tolerance for this nonsense, I fully expect to see this clown banned immediately.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)feminists on this board with your "mob mentality" reference. It is uncalled for and rude.
Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)Seriously. I am in no fucking way blaming the victim. if you read that into what I posted, then you're looking to put an agenda to things there.
JI7
(89,250 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)others part of the "mob" calling out racism and misogyny.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)When do words not mean what they say? Cali was exposing a mentality here on DU that is frightening and needs to be recognized and dealt with. Sure, I was shocked to see those words but sexism is shocking and this one's sexism is beyond vile. We should know it exists even here.
I've been on this board since 2004 and I have never seen such a foul, violent use of language against another DUer or any woman for that matter.
I'm glad Cali posted this. Sunshine is the best disinfectant.
Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)But after it was dealt with within a reasonable time by admin/hosts/etc.
I'm speaking purely from the position of someone who has run large discussion forums like this before. You want to be able to tackle it before it becomes something like this. In fact, this whole thing is a big fucking teachable moment where the admins need to take what the DU Mail was, put it out there in their own editorial/article and put members on notice that this shit should not be allowed. But we get it all going through the forum first into a righteous rage.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)I think we'll learn something here and go away feeling catharsis at the end.
I think this was a highly unusual circumstance and of course, I wouldn't want to see this be a first default. I'm pretty mad myself and deeply discouraged by what has happened to Cali.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)someone getting rape threats is a big problem for you? What are you afraid of?
thucythucy
(8,067 posts)Damn right, it's righteous. When a respected member of this forum gets threatened with rape, yeah, I expect a certain amount of "righteous rage."
And what is your problem with this misogynist being exposed for all to see? And how does this thread in any way preclude Admins "putting it out there in their own editorial" etc.? In fact, the consternation shown by (most of) the people responding to this thread might a) encourage the admins to do just that and b) provide "a teachable moment" to other misogynist would-be rapists among us, who might otherwise be tempted to cyber-stalk and cyber-bully women they consider too outspoken for their taste.
Sometimes righteous rage is exactly what's needed. This, it seems to me, is precisely one of those times.
cali
(114,904 posts)blaming me YOU are more concerned with my breach of "etiquette" in having posted the diatribe than his threats of rape to me. Your use of language makes that crystal clear. I suggest you think about what you wrote here.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)sexism and racism and over all troll behavior.
calling out the clearly rw behavior is bad.... where as no comment for the nastiness.
what sense does that make.
CBGLuthier
(12,723 posts)It was posted because some of this shit has been dribbling all over DU lately. If the sender is NOT banned, there will indeed be a mob complaining. You can bet your ass on that.
Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)I'm in full agreement with that.
I just disagree about the route that was taken to get there.
steve2470
(37,457 posts)geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)I'm sure you describe yourself as an ally of women too.
Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)And I'm raising two strong, independent and confident young women.
Again, I'm speaking from the perspective of how someone running a site would generally prefer these things being handled. But everyone wants to make it personal and run down the whole sides thing again. Hence I'm now not an ally of women and am pretty much screwed in the eyes of many here because I offered a different perspective on something procedural.
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)You were the only one whining because she went public with the rape threat.
And your use of the phrases "mob mentality" and "crucificion" were crudely antagonistic trolling.
You showed your true colors, and they are not one of an ally.
Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)Got it.
cali
(114,904 posts)and sorry, but this is reflective of a real problem here, and goes beyond needing the admins to play parent. People here are adults and they should see this.
now continue with your poor me stuff.
No problem. I wasn't aware that I had to expose every part of my private life to people here to justify an opinion on something. I'm certainly not going to talk about my places of employment. Many people here avoid speaking specifically about it. But I'll simply leave the thread at this point, noting once again I am in complete agreement that the DU mail that was received was abhorrant and deserved a ban at the least.
cali
(114,904 posts)being asked to verify those much self-touted credentials.
gad.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)that sight rallies behind them and puts the man down. unequivocally so they learn real real real clear, NO man has a right to EVER talk to them at ANYTIME in that manner fuckin EVER.
and we will ALL be there to have their back.
Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)Is that part getting lost here somewhere?
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)sexism. teh hate. the vile, disgusting language. and you used mob. last week they used mob and swarm
i want to know why every single person was not in there calling out the sexism.
that is my point. that is what i am stressing to you. this is how we apply social conscious. our fuggin "mobs". that is how we teach our girls not to take it and our men not to be that. the mob, that stands with our daughters on line and off line.
kcr
(15,317 posts)you might have a point. But just look at the support they got for the sexism not just in the OP but their subsequent responses. Posts about hyper-feminism, and other posters agreeing. Those DUers should be ashamed, and it shows that Cali is right.
Gormy Cuss
(30,884 posts)to them first is the right course to take.
cali
(114,904 posts)and culminating in the IM to me, is reflective of a bigger problem on DU, I chose to post the whole enchilada. I have a lot of respect for Skinner and Earl, and know they'd do the right thing, but I think the DU community as a whole should be aware of this.
Gormy Cuss
(30,884 posts)that's reflected by the increased tendency for people to air the dirty linen in GD.
Lots of ugliness falls through the cracks between juries+MIRT purview. That leaves admin. The only reason AAO was offed so quickly is that a DUer was able to persuade a jury to block one his posts 7-0 using the text of this vile message in the alert. Without that message I doubt that the vote would have been 7-0 (seriously doubt it would have even squeaked by with a 4-3) and AAO would be free to post until one of the admin had time to deal with it.
When quinnox did his flameout it was obvious by 7 July but admin did not act until 9 Jul. That's just too long IMHO.
MerryBlooms
(11,770 posts)the Forum hosting dysfunction is beyond a simple fix.
The hosts that sign up and don't participate need to be deleted and new host moves up. Hosts found showing favoritism need to be canned... etc... what it amounts to, is the admins are going to actually have to participate if they want this sort of moderating to be successful. The hands-off approach they've taken has been a disaster for GD hosting. Also, their hand-tying of hosts encourages inconsistency, thereby causing even more frustration and animosity within the group and towards hosts. It's a goddamn mess. I won't again participate in hosting until the admins get it together. I have faith they will figure it out, but man, the amount of DU member in-fighting this system/lack of, has caused, is a real bummer.
Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)Just to reiterate what I posted elsewhere; I am in 1000% agreement with the poster that sent that DU mail being banned. I was simply talking about something that I, as someone who has been involved with running forums and discussion groups since the FIDO days, would have done instead. I am self-deleting the post I had made and no longer posting in the thread so as to not drive it further off topic.
My sincere apologies to any I may have offended, as that was the farthest thing from my point, since I was being clear in my disgust with the DU mail that was being discussed.
Scout
(8,624 posts)what a fucking shitty ass thing to do. what a fucking cowardly, immature jerk.
you didn't deserve that.
so, so, damn sick and tired of the expression of the "i'm a feminist ally, but you better be nicer to me or i won't be anymore!!! waah waaah waaaahhh"
redqueen
(115,103 posts)I guess I should just be glad he didn't call himself a feminist.
cali
(114,904 posts)redqueen
(115,103 posts)And this is why I hate those 'Do you think men and women are equal? Then you're a feminist!' memes.
There is so much more to it than that
Scout
(8,624 posts)Guy Whitey Corngood
(26,501 posts)nomorenomore08
(13,324 posts)How much more utterly transparent can a person get?
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)the fake feminists. they are the real ones.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)And we know how that goes with you, dear sea.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)real life or the net. bullying cowards like this is what really gets me loud.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)noamnety
(20,234 posts)Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Plenty of incivility upthread. Why target this particular comment
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I think this post was extraordinarily restrained and polite, given what it's responding to.
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: What?
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: It's true...
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: The offending conversation is a public call-out of another person, for whatever reason, hide it.
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: This is extremely uncivil, but the poster this refers to posted something much worse
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: 1:Alerter not subject of criticism
2:republicans referred to in worst ways
bluesbassman
(19,374 posts)There is no place for that on DU, or in society in general. May Admin's actions be swift on this.
snooper2
(30,151 posts)he/she/it-
I imagine it actually is a male- also a troll of the highest order unless he/she/it actually believes all the crap that has been posted. Then just an idiot-
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)Jesus H. Christ.
snooper2
(30,151 posts)But I guess that got lost in translation---
Anyway,
Talking about Jesus, did you hear what happend to him a couple weeks ago!
Jesus and Moses were strolling by the Red Sea, when Moses nudged Jesus and said, "Psst. Hey, Jesus, I've still got it."
Moses turned toward the Red Sea and lifted his staff on high. The angels began to sing, the gentle sea breeze turned into a raging gale, and the waters of the Red Sea were parted. Moses lowered his arms and, with a smug grin on his face, turned back to face Jesus.
Jesus scoffed. "Moses, my boy," said the Messiah, "I have still got it." And with a flourish of his robes, Jesus stepped onto the waters of the Red Sea and began to stride across without so much as a ripple.
But to Moses' amazement, halfway across the water, Jesus suddenly began to sink. He splashed into the water and began to choke and flounder as the waves tossed him around. Moses grumbled at Jesus' silliness and parted the water once more. Moses helped Jesus back to shore, as the Saviour hacked up salt water.
When they had finally reached shore, Moses slapped a consoling hand on Jesus' shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it, Lord. Last time you tried it, you didn't have holes in your feet."
RainDog
(28,784 posts)anyone who thinks pussy juice is something negative is too stupid to post on DU.
...
making light, but I know those sorts of attacks are hurtful and scary and anyone saying such things to any woman here should not be here.
they can spew this misogyny on yahoo or youtube or a whole lot of other boards.
cali
(114,904 posts)the hate for women is so blatant and so potent.
RainDog
(28,784 posts)from the person who posts hate threats to various people here - I was shocked, too - and I already knew the person had done this to others - but I also was scared to know most people post here in good faith - but others, obviously, do not.
Guy Whitey Corngood
(26,501 posts)RainDog
(28,784 posts)just to say... don't wanna hafta but - see, that's a false equivalence and, at the same time, reinforces negative associations - and, I really don't want to go on with it, but, see, we all live in this culture influenced by Puritan ideas about body shame and sex shame and that's what I was really trying to address in a somewhat silly way.
MerryBlooms
(11,770 posts)I'm glad you posted it. Sunlight is a good disinfectant for this sort of heinous behavior. I completely disagree with those saying this filth should be hidden and not posted about. I really wish people would stop telling women to stfu about abuse.
cali
(114,904 posts)you cited- sunlight- I posted it.
William769
(55,147 posts)This is one of the most horrific things I have ever seen said to someone on DU. I am ashamed to be the same sex as the person that sent that.
I hope the Admins actions to this person are swift and permanent.
I feel really bad that this happened to you.
cali
(114,904 posts)I often say that we all have more in common than that which separates us, a broad rubric to be sure, but one I think is pretty true on DU- despite the passionate beliefs.
stevenleser
(32,886 posts)Sorry Cali. I thought you should get the apology you deserve from somewhere.
cali
(114,904 posts)as you have absolutely nothing to apologize to me for. thanks.
Little Star
(17,055 posts)Sometimes this place makes me sick! I'm glad you told us this happened, shine some light on these a**holes!
Response to cali (Original post)
Name removed Message auto-removed
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)Blue_Adept
(6,399 posts)This certainly doesn't belong here. Best self delete.
JI7
(89,250 posts)in regards to what was posted in the OP ?
Response to JI7 (Reply #98)
Name removed Message auto-removed
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)JI7
(89,250 posts)snooper2
(30,151 posts)usually clears the mind-
Squinch
(50,950 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Squinch
(50,950 posts)cyberswede
(26,117 posts)where he can be as sexist as his little heart desires. Not sure he'd bother to be here any longer.
Squinch
(50,950 posts)cyberswede
(26,117 posts)Squinch
(50,950 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)lonestarnot
(77,097 posts)How does one know your sex unless you choose to reveal. No one knows if I'm male or female unless they've heard me before. Whoever pm'd that shit should be banned from here forever.
cali
(114,904 posts)lonestarnot
(77,097 posts)fucking prick thinks he can talk to you like this. Who is he if you know/or not if we're not allowed to do that.
Kelvin Mace
(17,469 posts)but in the referenced thread, objecting women are called "Hyper-feminists", which seems to me the same as "Femi-Nazi" in intent, if not exact wording..
JI7
(89,250 posts)by certain types
Kelvin Mace
(17,469 posts)I think that simply using the term(s) in that context should be sufficient.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)redqueen
(115,103 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)you nailed it with your comparison.
Kelvin Mace
(17,469 posts)he is no "ally" of women. I hope you have reported the email to the admins as that has got to be a banning offense. If not, there is something VERY wrong around here.
steve2470
(37,457 posts)hughee99
(16,113 posts)and I'm often willing to let more offensive statements stand so a poster will be forced to have to defend their behavior or their position, I'm not beyond allowing a degree of shit stirring either... having said all that, anyone who would post, IM, PM, or even mutter quitely, something like that is someone the DU (and people in general) can do without.
Kelvin Mace
(17,469 posts)name-calling and then abusively personal attacks.
I can overlook the first two...
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)wtf is wrong with people!?!?
awake
(3,226 posts)Please remember it was written by an individual, and no one that I know elected him as a spoke person for all men.
It does not help to dissolve sexism by painting all men with the same brush, but it is important to be aware that even on a site like this one, people can be crass and un-understanding inflicting pain with their words. I truly hope you do not feel that anything you may have said deserves a message like the one you received.
Thank you for sharing, letting all of us here know how much more work needs to be done to move beyond the vile hate of sexism. It can not end too soon.
cali
(114,904 posts)Of course he's not a spokesman for all men or all men on DU. I never said anything that could be construed as saying that.
I'm not frightened by his cowardly stupid dog shit, but I do see it as indicative of a larger problem here.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)Why did you say that?
What motivated this #notallmen response? Because it sure wasn't anything in the OP.
awake
(3,226 posts)I in no way wanted to suggest that anyone had painted all men with the same brush. If this part of my post offend anyone please accept my apologies for it was not directed to anyone. I feel everyone will need to work harder to overcome sexism, including myself.
JI7
(89,250 posts)i think that says a lot and the more reason he this SHOULD have been posted for all to see.
Scout
(8,624 posts)post the vile shit for everyone to see.
now HERE'S something that DU should participate in "shaming"
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)littlemissmartypants
(22,691 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)Kali
(55,011 posts)is that a sock of that asshole who said somethign similar to seabeyond?
there seems to be a small portion of very frightened little boys around here, what the fucking fuck???!!!!
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)rolling off them
m-lekktor
(3,675 posts)as FUCKED UP and bizarre as the initial info in your OP. what in FUCK is wrong with people? this place is too fucking reactionary to be a group of DEMOCRATS.
cali
(114,904 posts)I'm not clear on why some object- does it offend their sensibilities that I posted it? The nonsense about crucifixion and mobs is just that- nonsense. I am bewildered by those objecting.
Raine1967
(11,589 posts)IT's not just about the particular poster, who, IMO deserves a ban hammer, but it does highlight what does happen on DU.
Disgusting absolutely disgusting. DU Mails are not private, and sunshine is indeed the best disinfectant. There is no excuse for this, NONE.
I am glad you are contacting the Admins, but this is the very sort of thing people need to see when some think it's not that bad. It is.
It is that bad when it happens to even one of our members of DU.
geek tragedy
(68,868 posts)over and over and over
by women who have caught all kinds of crap for being 'divisive' and 'man haters' for pointing out this is a real problem
misogynists need to feel a lot less welcome here, period.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)From what I've read on the public forums, that seems so out of character for AAO. But one never knows what is written behind the scenes.
I'm sorry you experienced that treatment.
cali
(114,904 posts)one_voice
(20,043 posts)no excuse or reason for that shit.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)one_voice
(20,043 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)one_voice
(20,043 posts)subjected to that kind of crap. It was/is beyond the pale. Good riddance to garbage stinking up the place.
LexVegas
(6,067 posts)This belongs in the open, not hidden behind the scenes.
Gore1FL
(21,132 posts)It's silly that people get upset over any word or phrase that has the slightest hint of gender in it and call it "sexist," "misogyny," "Misandry," or anything else.
The message to you was uncalled for, however.
cali
(114,904 posts)You are flat wrong and gee aren't you just so beneficent to grant that the message was "uncalled" for How surpassingly polite of you to refer to threats of rape and violence as uncalled for.
your post make me feel slightly ill.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)Does seem to be minimizing the issue, doesn't it?
Gore1FL
(21,132 posts)Or you could simply take it at face value and not try to make something out of everything.
Gore1FL
(21,132 posts)Look! I can use smilies too!
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)Gore1FL
(21,132 posts)PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=profile&uid=291225&sub=trans
AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your alert
Mail Message
On Tue Jul 15, 2014, 04:04 PM you sent an alert on the following post:
Nothing about being rejected - this is about being WRONGED by the Supremem Court Hobby Lobby.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5243259
REASON FOR ALERT
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.
YOUR COMMENTS
Calling cali a "low-information trouble maker" is a personal attack. And this user is flaming out. Please vote to hide so they can be flagged for review by admin. He said the following to cali via PM today:
"Fuck you in the ass with a broom handle, then kneel down and swallow my cock. You are a VERY sorry excuse for a woman. "
See: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025243375#post70
JURY RESULTS
A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Tue Jul 15, 2014, 04:11 PM, and voted 7-0 to HIDE IT.
Juror #1 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Everything posted by this DUer needs to be hidden until he is banned. He has revealed himself in his vile PM to cali.
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: While this post isn't as vile and disgusting as his email, I'm sure he will be banned, this is hide worthy.
Newcriminal
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: "Low information trouble maker" is apparently the nicest thing that AAO has said about her today.
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Thank you.
uppityperson
(115,677 posts)shanti
(21,675 posts)I'm sorry you were exposed to that, cali. It looks like AAO got served his pizza.
Skidmore
(37,364 posts)darkangel218
(13,985 posts)Look what I started
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)darkangel218
(13,985 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)darkangel218
(13,985 posts)JI7
(89,250 posts)Kali
(55,011 posts)it isn't all about you, go start your own flamebait thread if you need attention
jeebus
unbelievable.
darkangel218
(13,985 posts)I'm hardly ever here.
Get over yourself.
cyberswede
(26,117 posts)That you've been here less lately doesn't erase that behavior from your history - or from your post upthread where you attempted to make cali's unfortunate experience about you.
darkangel218
(13,985 posts)You and Kali can take your personal attacks elesewhere. It's laughable how you stir shit up.
Have a nice day.
Kali
(55,011 posts)so your alert(s) failed?
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)darkangel218
(13,985 posts)Last time I did, your post was hidden. I didn't think another hidden post was necessary, since you're a host and all.
I will however let them know anytime you and your buddies swarm me and attack me with false accusations.
Kali
(55,011 posts)it's all the same
your kicking this thread pretty much proves my original comment
I will take your gracious allowing me to avoid a hide as the joke that it is.
darkangel218
(13,985 posts)If you're going to laugh at something, laugh at that.
It's pitiful.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)darkangel218
(13,985 posts)I'm seeking attention because I said to cali that I was sorry for posting the jury results.
Wtf is new.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)How odd.
I'm actually glad you did and that it's what set him off. He's gone and that's a good thing.
Shit, take CREDIT, don't apologize.
Unless you wanted him to stay.
darkangel218
(13,985 posts)And are you fucking serious?? Do you think I would have wanted someone like that poster around?? Im glad he's gone, and I'm glad cali posted the pm.
What I was sorry about was the fact that cali had to read that crap.
Jeez!!!
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)I'm sorry she was treated that way as well, but you didn't make him do that.
darkangel218
(13,985 posts)You keep up your personal attacks, it only shows what kind of person you are Kali.
Response to cali (Original post)
Quantess This message was self-deleted by its author.
awake
(3,226 posts)"It is the responsibility of all DU members to participate on our discussion forums in a manner that promotes a positive atmosphere and encourages good discussions among a diverse community of people holding a broad range of center-to-left viewpoints. Members should refrain from posting messages on DU that are disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. These broad community standards of behavior are maintained through the combined efforts of members posting and serving on citizen juries, using their own best judgment to decide what behavior is appropriate and what is not.
Members who cannot hold themselves to a high standard risk having their posts hidden by a jury of their peers, and being blocked out of discussion threads they disrupt. Those who exhibit a pattern of willful disregard for the Community Standards risk being in violation of our Terms of Service, and could have their posting privileges revoked."
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)it is amazing the men that say they are feminist for a pass being a sexist, and worse, like this posters, a misogynist.
they like to create women in a porn fantasy of theirs in the submissive role as they abuse. they turn you into their porn.
little piece of shit of a man.
i am assuming he has been kicked off. surely?
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)CBGLuthier
(12,723 posts)and it was done by MIRT. Glad to see they did not need admin for such an obvious situation.
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)Thanks for quickly taking care of that in MIRT!!
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)Spazito
(50,349 posts)Thanks MIRT, job well done!
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)Spazito
(50,349 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)steve2470
(37,457 posts)progressoid
(49,991 posts)Bobbie Jo
(14,341 posts)The quick ban function was made for just such an occasion.
Nicely done.
MineralMan
(146,317 posts)In this case, the poster could only be banned if there was a 7-0 hide and the banning happened within an hour of the hide. More than one alert was made, and finally a 7-0 hide happened, and MIRT banned AAO shortly thereafter. I'm sure the admins will approve the PPR.
MIRT normally can only deal with DUers who have less than 100 posts. There is one exception to that. I described that exception above. It can take some time to deal with, if admins are not immediately available. I'm glad we were able to remove this person from DU before he posted some other threatening email, but we couldn't move any faster than we did.
Thanks for your patience, everyone!
Capt. Obvious
(9,002 posts)I agree with the ban but I was expecting Earl to do it.
I read up thread about 7-0 jury but I didn't know that allowed MIRT to ban.
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)And reveals exactly who that member is. I'll note one of the jurors gave the irritating comment that you were trying to "speak for all women." At no point did you say that, but it is a common refrain from people who seek to silence women who speak out against sexism.
SummerSnow
(12,608 posts)La Lioness Priyanka
(53,866 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)Maedhros
(10,007 posts)No room on a liberal/progressive board for that mentality. Our tent isn't THAT big.
City Lights
(25,171 posts)So sorry you had to go through that. I think you did the right thing by posting it for all to see, and I'm glad he's PPR'd.
herding cats
(19,564 posts)It looks like the poster was banned, and rightly so. There's no excuse for saying things like. Ever.
Out of Time Man
(141 posts)...and I immensely appreciate the fact that you generated this OP. This despicable behavior needs exposure, and should never be tolerated anywhere.
cali
(114,904 posts)The Green Manalishi
(1,054 posts)from someone who enjoys your posts and hopes that user gets a tombstone. Shoved up his....
PowerToThePeople
(9,610 posts)I am sorry that you were attacked this way.
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)would do well to pay attention to this example. Language is important in that it signals the user's thoughts. In this case, we see that someone who used the idiom "a woman scorned," and refused to edit or rethink his use of it when told it was offensive, was indeed a misogynist. There is no doubt left after the PM he sent Cali.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)boston bean
(36,221 posts)asshole.
However, most women have a feel for the creeps, maybe more people ought to try to listen and understand others who know that sexism is an issue on DU.
Also, racism is as well, and it's the usual suspects for both.
Call Me Wesley
(38,187 posts)between the OP and admins, so no other DUer gets the Kumbaya-fantasy broken, should have the fantasy broken. It's not the first time it happened, and I have yet to wait for a similar PM sent out by a female DUer. Hasn't happened yet. The other side: Quite a few times.
LeftishBrit
(41,205 posts)The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,719 posts)and intolerable. I'm very pleased to see he's been banned.
Spitfire of ATJ
(32,723 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)Spitfire of ATJ
(32,723 posts)LittleBlue
(10,362 posts)There is a certain conservative forum, which I will not mention by name, whose members claim to register accounts (which they call moles) to cause flamewars on here.
I don't know if he was one of them, but he sure sounds like someone hellbent on causing trouble here.
etherealtruth
(22,165 posts)I am in no way surprised.
Although I recognize that the vast majority of DUers are folk that are disturbed by sexism and wholeheartedly support equal rights for all .... there is a significant and vocal minority of posters that clearly take issue with strong women demanding an equal seat at the table.
Though I am very hesitant to to criticize the admins here (for years DU was a haven for from the idiocy of the right wing and I will always be grateful for their creation!) .... I also understand their thoughts of making DU a more user driven forum (and in many ways appreciate that) ....however (with that said) ....
DU has become a very hostile place for many women to post ... be it the accepted use of the term Radfem (used VERY frequently as a pejorative) ... the inferences that feminists are "man hating" disruptors ... the posters that regularly engage in dismissing or trivializing typical woman's issues ... the attempts to minimize / diminish the horrors of RAPE ... the frequent jury acceptance (remembering that the vocal minority also serves on juries/ and there is also a group that"doesn't want to get involved) of outright misogynistic posts ... there is a very ugly undercurrent here ... and it has been given tacit approval.
That is why your experience mortifies, sickens and disgusts me ... but does not surprise me
BainsBane
(53,034 posts)Very well said.
gwheezie
(3,580 posts)I read the original thread that started this outrage against you, there is no excuse or reason or sane explanation for the response you got. I know lots of men, I can't imagine the men I love ever saying something like that to a woman. People that hold those thoughts about a woman should be shunned and ridiculed by normal people. It's violent and disturbing. No one should be told to keep quiet about such treatment.
lovemydog
(11,833 posts)It is really sickening and sad. That poster who was correctly banned - I hope he gets the help he needs. I hope he has not harmed and does not ever harm anyone physically.
onecaliberal
(32,861 posts)Thank you for shining the light on this vile excuse for a human. Hope it's banned. There seems to be several of them though.
That is no ally.
Thank you for bringing this out in the open. No one deserves to be spoken to like that.
Quantess
(27,630 posts)I need to quietly put up with all sorts of oblivious males defending the recent SC decision, but yet I am not allowed to call a republican woman "a bitch" for the same reasons, here on DU?
FUCK ME.
cali
(114,904 posts)at least in the context of the op. and for the record, I don't actually have a problem with the b word though I respect that it's against the rules to use it here, but back to the op. how does not being allowed to use the b word here, dovetail with what I revealed in the OP?
myrna minx
(22,772 posts)this be discussed away in some quiet room and not out in the open is part of the reason misogyny is allowed to fester here. I'm so sorry you this happened to you, but you were wholly in the right to expose it.
MrScorpio
(73,631 posts)How the hell did he last here that long? And why the fuck would he stay in a forum where he KNEW that his viewpoints aren't welcome?
And the hostility towards women, that is some sick shit right there.
Good riddance.
hlthe2b
(102,283 posts)and that MIRT acted appropriately to remove this poster.
ladyVet
(1,587 posts)Honestly, we're better off without such "allies".
Zenlitened
(9,488 posts)..."stupid people think everyone is as stupid as they are."
These absurd little people who pronounce themselves allies even as they dismiss, contradict, explain at, berate and outright abuse us... are you freakin' kidding?
WE SEE YOU, OKAY? You're not fooling anyone... except maybe your own ridiculous selves.
I mean, that's what makes it all so puke-inducingly galling. As opposed to "merely" ignorant, petulant and pathetic.
So for shining sunlight on this latest example of these peewee-league performance artists. The sooner they all find new hobbies, or maybe even learn to function in this thing called society... well, the sooner the better.
tammywammy
(26,582 posts)Holy crap! Thank you for sharing the PM and thank the MIRT for banning such a repugnant poster. Disgusting.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)You absolutely did the right thing and he is rightly banned. I can't believe how filled with hatred some people are.
BeyondGeography
(39,374 posts)I think it's criminal to harass people like that. It's an assault. I'm sorry that you were subjected to it.
BootinUp
(47,156 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)what confuses you?
BootinUp
(47,156 posts)I just don't understand what happened, how do this happen?
cali
(114,904 posts)by AAO. This is where he first attacked me. Then he self-deleted. I sent him the IM in the op. He sent back the vile rape threat one to me.
Read his locked posts.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025242454
Just off work and a little tired, but I will look at all that. Hopefully, the troll, scum whatever has been banned and will not be back.
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)Thanks to MIRT for that. That was truly awful. Good riddance.
Puzzledtraveller
(5,937 posts)but you don't have to take it!
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)whathehell
(29,067 posts)things about minorities.
Does that mean our protesting their publicizing them don't mean much?
thucythucy
(8,067 posts)As a rape survivor, it's so empowering for me to see how you handled this!
What happened to you was abuse, sexual abuse, and that's a fact. To say, as some here have, that in responding to that abuse you should have first used "the proper channels" -- rather than gone public with the evidence of what happened -- is just so fucking typical of how abuse survivors are expected to "make nice" in the face of the most vile attacks. And then, to cap it off, we often also then get blamed for "not resisting"--not making a big ENOUGH stink about it. It's a vortex of contradictory, mutually exclusive, mind-bending social bullshit around sexual violence that has helped to perpetuate the same evil shit for millennia.
Kudos to you for having the guts, the insight, the clarity of thought to do precisely the right thing here--expose the perpetrator, hold him accountable, and then, also, to educate the community, and thus make at least this little corner of the net a better and (hopefully) safer place for all of us.
You represent absolutely the best DU has to offer. Carry on, and my sympathy and condolences for the abuse you were forced to endure.
sufrommich
(22,871 posts)Women are attacked using rape threats with great regularity. That being said:Holy Shit!!!!!
I'll bet he thought he could intimidate you,he obviously is unfamiliar with you!
whathehell
(29,067 posts)He's pathological and needs to be banned, no question.
Generic Other
(28,979 posts)Meant to intimidate you, to put you in your place.
I am so sorry, cali that someone here threatened you like that, but I am sorrier still that some here seemed to think you should suffer in silence. What that person attempted to do with that PM was to make you afraid to speak out. And your response makes it clear that you will not be terrorized but will stand your ground. Good for you. And shame on anyone on DU who doesn't condemn members who treat the women here this way.
LWolf
(46,179 posts)I'm appalled at some of the "hide it under the rug" I see happening in this thread. It looks like transparency makes some uncomfortable.
It will be interesting to see how DU moves forward with the issue of sexism.
gort
(687 posts)But the ones that do need to be exposed just like you did and I thank you for it. Not all do it is not an excuse when the some that do is far too many for us to tolerate their vileness any longer. They need to be shamed into crawling back under the rocks where they belong.
Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)Glad MIRT dealt with that hater and bigot, but also rise to express my dismay that so many here wanted it dealt with "backstage".
Because this isn't about one sick fucking dude, it's about an attitude that has been enabled on this forum.
That someone felt he could send that crazy sick bullshit to a woman here isn't a one-time occurrence--and since it needs to be spelled out to some here, women here can often sense when a poster is going to be "one of those" from the build-up of aggressive and passive-aggressive sexist comments over the course of weeks, months and even years.
It sucks to be a female member here and be hesitant to post a feminist viewpoint on gender-based subjects, because you know that a) threads will be full of people minimizing concerns b) after dealing with sexism in our off-DU lives, the anticipation of *knowing* you are going to get some fucking person replying to you with dog-whistlte micro-aggressive posts makes you wonder why you even bother.
</rant>
WCLinolVir
(951 posts)Awfully glad you don't know this person. So sorry he attacked you. So glad he is banned.
Tetris_Iguana
(501 posts)Glad he got his pizza. I really hope the admins start to take misogyny more seriously.
Lefta Dissenter
(6,622 posts)There's absolutely no justification for that kind of abusive treatment ANYWHERE, let alone on DU. I'm really sorry that was inflicted upon you.
skygazer
(20,546 posts)Stuff like this is one of the reasons. Maybe I'm seeing things through rose-colored glasses but it seems like DU was a friendlier place back in the mid to late 2000s. I'm sorry you received that message Cali - I don't think I've ever seen anything so shocking and ugly here. And I think calling it out was the right thing to do.
R B Garr
(16,954 posts)I almost always check your threads and consider you a topic leader here at this website. Seems you take a lot of abuse that goes along with that, and I'm sorry to see that. Keep up the great work and know you're appreciated.
It gets really old seeing my favorite, strong female voices being hassled so much on this site!