So I took my daughter, 16, to Planned Parenthood - bad parent?

[Kath1]

Attended one those dreadful extended family gatherings and the grumpy old white men were griping about how Planned Parenthood should be de-funded. One of them made a comment to me (I was already boiling) and I told them I took my daughter there at 16 (she's now 25) for birth control advice and we have both had very positive experiences with the organization. They freaked out and one told me in no uncertain terms that I was a bad parent. That didn't sit well with me and I dropped a few f-bombs in my response. Very uncomfortable, I left soon after.

Look, at the time I was newly divorced, a single parent working a full time job and gone form home about 12 hours every day. My daughter's well-being was my concern. I had been going to that clinic for some time and was very pleased with the treatment I received. I was only doing what I thought was right.

My blood is still boiling over this! I come from a VERY Catholic family and I know from the outset they have strong opinions, most of which I respect but disagree with. Told my daughter about it last night and she just laughed and said, "You go, mom!"

So does taking a teenager to Planned Parenthood automatically make you a bad parent? I don't think so.

[MattBaggins]

1. You are not a bad parent. This grumpy middle aged white guy stands with you.

[Kath1]

12. Thanks!

Glad a grumpy middle aged white guy is with me on this.

It means a lot. Thanks!

[yeoman6987]

51. I always find it odd that people talk politics at family gatherings

First of all it is nobody's business what you do with your daughter. They should not know if your daughter is on birth control or not. I have been to MILLIONS of family gathers and I have ZERO idea what individual family member's politics are. They are not my business. I certainly never wanted to know if my sister or nieces were ever on birth control for goodness sake. It seems creepy to even mention it.

[TeeYiYi]

2. Good parent.

I hope you believe me.

TYY

[hobbit709]

3. That makes you a very GOOD parent.

[U4ikLefty]

4. You are a great parent & don't let you tell you anyone different

You rock

[monmouth3]

5. I would say you were an exceptional parent. Good on you..n/t

[LeftyMom]

6. You did the right thing. nt

[murielm99]

7. Good parent.

We do not have a PP close by. I took my girls to the doctor for physicals and prescriptions. Then they went to the county health department and got very low-cost birth control. When they were in college, they went to Planned Parenthood. They paid when they could. I donate to P.P. regularly.

When girls are going to be sexually active, it is best if they have an understanding parent to help them obtain birth control.

[Kath1]

15. Thank you.

Agree 100%!

[PassingFair]

106. The only bad thing you have to deal with is ....

self doubt.

Of COURSE you did the right thing.

A private physician would have been OK, too.

[roody]

8. It makes you NOT a grandparent!

[Kath1]

21. LOL!

And that is a GOOD thing!

[Archae]

9. Sounds like half my Dad's family.

Most aren't Catholic like yours, but Planned Parenthood scares the snot of them, they like "the little woman" to be docile, obedient like the 50's sitcom women.

[greatauntoftriplets]

10. Not at all.

[MineralMan]

11. Parents do very well to take their teens to Planned Parenthood.

The folks there will provide facts without embarrassment and the teens will tell them the truth in return. If they're sexually active, they might not tell parents about it, but will tell Planned Parenthood, and that organization will give them the information and help they need to avoid unwanted pregnancies and STDs.

If I had a teenager, I'd do it. It's hard for parents and adolescent children to get real on the subject of sex.

[OldEurope]

13. You are a good parent.

You're a good parent teaching your children about love, sex and happiness.
Happiness means: no fear.
Here in Germany we don't have your difficulties on birth control, so my daughter got her pill at 15, as we, the parents, did not complain.

[Gormy Cuss]

14. So how'd that turn out?

What does your now adult daughter say? Oh, right: "You go, mom." There's your answer.

[Kath1]

17. Thanks so much!

I guess that is the bottom line.

Peace!

[aikoaiko]

16. You did fine. Tell the old men to leave a donation after confession. They'll need the help.

[Blue_In_AK]

18. This reminds me of my own experience with my older daughter

when she was about 16. I came home from work one day, and she was all "Mom, Mom, you're going to be so proud of me. I went down to the clinic and got birth control pills ALL BY MYSELF!" What's a mother to say? On the one hand, yes, I was proud she was being responsible, but on the other hand, MY LITTLE GIRL IS HAVING SEX.

Kind of coincidentally, the boy for whom she took this step was one of the guys who sheet rocked our living room last summer, 23 years later. I had no idea he was the one until I told her about running into him again.

[Kath1]

22. Thanks. Wow.

You raised one smart and responsible girl!

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

19. Good parents educate their kids. You did that.

[fizzgig]

20. my mom made me an appointment at pp for bc when i was 16

you are a damn good parent.

[Kath1]

33. Thanks, fizzgig!

They would have really gone nuts if I told them I allowed boyfriends to spend the night. Would even make them breakfast sometimes!

I'd rather have that than have it going on in some parking lot or something.

She is a very well-adjusted and a responsible adult.

[newfie11]

23. Oh honey you did the right thing!!!

Don't listen to those idiots!!!
Everybody has an opinion but it only matters when you live with the results.
In your daughters case I'm sure she's happy u did.

[riderinthestorm]

24. No, you're not a good parent

You're a GREAT parent!

(FWIW, I did the same thing for my 16 yr old daughter)

[Kali]

25. fuck no, it makes you a GREAT parent

those old farts are the shitty parents (if they even are parents)

[Kath1]

43. Thank you so much, Kali!

I am so happy for the support I am getting here. My blood was still boiling this morning. I was so pissed off!

"fuck no, it makes you a GREAT parent" - Love it! Makes me feel like I made the right choice!

Thank you. Peace.

[postulater]

26. I agree with your daughter.

[immoderate]

27. Good parent -- but bad Catholic.

But that's OK with me.

--imm

[MADem]

32. I think most "Catholic" parents nowadays are "bad" Catholics.

How many families with six to 12 children does one see in Catholic communities nowadays?

A "big" family is four kids, and fifty or sixty years ago a big family would be eight to a dozen, or more.

[Kath1]

48. Excellent point, MADem!

Hypocrites, all of them. IMO.

[Kath1]

39. VERY bad Catholic!

LOL!

I gave up on that a long time ago. Still getting rid of the baggage.

[3catwoman3]

108. Some of the members of the...

...Unitarian Universalist congregation I belong to refer to themselves as "recovering" Catholics.

By helping your daughter avoid an unplanned pregnancy, she did not become a parent, nor you a grandparent, before she was ready. Good on you!!!

[Aerows]

28. There's always going to be judgmental

people that are angry at anyone having sex that isn't them. You did the right thing. Nothing cripples a young woman's chance at success as having a child when she isn't ready. That's another thing that makes them mad. A successful woman that makes her own choices threatens their lifestyle of relying on women that cater to them while they take all of the credit for their own success.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

67. You got it exactly right, my dear Aerows! ^^^ is right. n/t

[Kath1]

83. Awesome!

I knew my daughter would be having sex, just like I did. I DID NOT want it to destroy her future.

And it didn't, with the help of PP.

[avebury]

29. You were being a responsible parent.

You cannot be around all of the time and you made sure that your daughter received the correct information to make informed decisions by understanding the concept consequence.

Kudos to you! You were being a great Mom!

[MohRokTah]

30. You were a very good parent. The person who said you weren't is an asshole. Eom

[Kath1]

40. Thank you!

BTW, love your sig line!

[leftstreet]

31. Who talks about Planned Parenthood at a family gathering?

Those guys sound like jerks

[2pooped2pop]

34. smart parent

once kids are sexually active, they are. Period. You are just taking steps to prevent teenage pregnancy which would profoundly disrupt your daughters, yours, and the boyfriend's family's lives. While a baby will be wonderful, it will be more wonderful when she is actually ready.

Smart parent.

[mercuryblues]

35. I told

my daughter that if/when she was considering becoming sexually active, I would take her to PP no questions. If she was too embarrassed to ask me, ask her aunt. When she was old enough to drive herself anywhere, I reminded her she no longer needed to ask me.
To this day I have no idea if she went or not. I do know that I am not a grandparent.

I had similar convo with my older sons. They could get condoms for free there or buy them. They could even take their girlfriends there if need be. Still not a grandparent.

Would I like to be a grandparent, sure. But I will love it more when the kids are mature, financially stable and want a baby.

[onecaliberal]

36. Very good Parent.

Screw the reicht wing narrative. I did the same thing.

[calimary]

37. Nope. You were teaching her responsibility for her actions and wise management of her passions.

Planned Parenthood has been tarred and feathered with all kinds of falsehoods, distortions, lies, and crap. They do GREAT work and it's NOT 100% about abortion. I think the statistic is - a big ol' whopping THREE percent of all Planned Parenthood clinic activities have something to do with abortion. The rest of it is about women's health and intelligent family planning, mammograms, pap smears and such. Counseling of all kinds - about what pertains to the most intimate reaches of a woman's body and psyche. What would a bunch of grumpy old white men know about any of this? Especially considering - back in THEIR day - this stuff just wasn't spoken about in polite company. Hell, they didn't even SAY the word "pregnant" on TV for years - and in far too many of those nice, white, suburban bedrooms, Mom and Dad slept in twin beds.

In my opinion, the opinions about us women and OUR PRIVATE CONCERNS by a bunch of grumpy old white men - are ABSOLUTELY AND TOTALLY IRRELEVANT and without merit.

[abelenkpe]

38. Good parent.

Don't worry about about the opinions of the old, very wrong men who made you doubt your parenting skills.

[RebelOne]

41. No way are you a bad parent.

You are a totally responsible parent. I would have done the same thing if there had been parenthood clinics when my daughter was a teenager. But at that time, there was no such thing.

[Rozlee]

42. I provided my kids with birth control when they were teenagers.

Like you, I'm from a devout Catholic family. My kids all had children after they had gotten married. All my sisters' and my married brother's kids, every. one. of. them, had a shotgun wedding because they had an unplanned pregnancy. Not that my kids were saints. They tomcatted around, but they knew about safe and responsible sex and planned their families. The rest of my family preached sexual morality and crossed their fingers. About as effective family planning as mare's urine against the Black Death. You did the right thing. You can't dictate your kids' sex lives. But, you can keep their ignorance from causing them to make life-changing choices they're not ready for. My nieces' and nephews' early marriages trapped them in relationships that resulted in dropping out of college for some of them and having more children with partners they really weren't compatible with in the long run.

[Kath1]

45. Thank you, Rozlee!

"About as effective family planning as mare's urine against the Black Death." Samre thing I thought!

[MerryBlooms]

44. Good parent.

We had two sons; we didn't take them to PP, but we did talk with them and made sure they had condoms.

Always do what's best for your children. Period.

[Kath1]

46. Thanks, MerryBlooms!

I always kept condoms in the house, just in case.

Thank you for being responsible with your sons!

[uppityperson]

47. Having the ability to prevent pregnancy and stds does not mean giving free rein to indiscriminate

sex. It means she, and you, were prepared for when/if it happened. I have heard the argument that having contraception available means sex is expected, and that it takes away the ability to not have sex because, after all, she probably won't get pregnant. Raising a child, a teen, to be able to stand up for themselves and make their own decision is good parenting. And having the information and necessary means to deal with it physically is also good parenting.

[Kath1]

55. Thank you.

I means a lot.

I wanted her to make her own informed decisions. And she did. Thanks so much. Her freedom made her a better adult, in my opinion.

[H2O Man]

49. You were a

responsible parent. Good for you, and even better for your daughter. I respect that.

[TBF]

50. You're a good parent -

I used Planned Parenthood in college and it's the probably the only way I would've known to start getting annual well woman exams (my parents were poor - we didn't go the doctor unless we were very sick). I am going to continue to give them donations because they emphasize the good health of women. That is clearly something repugs are only interested in for their rich selves.

[Kath1]

58. Amen to that!

I always give them a donation.

I have always used Planned Parenthood and have always been impressed with the caring and respect they give.

[arcane1]

52. How dare you have genuine involvement and concern for your daughter's well-being!

Bad parent!

[Hissyspit]

53. Of course not.

Your relatives are idiots.

[jen63]

54. Great parent!!

I worked retail and starting at age 13 or so, my son always had a fresh box of condoms under his bathroom sink and the reminder to switch out his wallet every month or so. Kids are gonna do, what kids are gonna do. We just need to make sure they do it safely.

[Kath1]

60. Thanks, jen63!

Sounds like we are on the same page!

[jen63]

65. We are for sure!

I had a very open relationship with my son. I even made him sit on the couch and watch a "plan B" commercial. A few months later, I got a call at about 7am asking me if I could get him "some of those pills" because the "rubber broke". Ended up not having to go THAT far for various reasons, but he was a good responsible kid and he knew I would never judge him for any decision that he made.

[obxhead]

56. It makes you a near perfect parent.

Regardless of economical circumstances, you made a great choice in the upbringing of your child.

Fuck those assholes that gave you a hard time. If Jesus were alive today he would beg families to take part in the social services available to us, especially Planned Parenthood.

PLANNED!

It's the key word of the organization. Make a plan, be responsible.

You did that, thank you for doing so.

[get the red out]

57. You are a great Mom

Your daughter is a fortunate young woman to have a mother that doesn't "freak out" like those people did. They showed you no respect for your opinion or your relationship with your daughter; they deserved all the F-bombs you could drop. They don't have the capacity to have rational discourse, sickening people.

[Kath1]

59. Thanks.

I sort of regret the loud F-bombs but i was just soooo fucking angry!

They actually had me doubting myself. Thanks.

[Jack Rabbit]

61. I suppose only if you believe that you and/or she will go to Hell as a result

Since you come from a Catholic background, I'll let you argue with your parish priest about that.

No, I don't think it made you a bad parent. On the contrary, I think it made you a very responsible parent.

My two sons were born in the early eighties. When each was in his med-teens, I gave him a box of condoms. On the day each was born, that was something I never dreamed I would ever do. During the time they were growing up even to that point, we had the AIDS epidemic. That changed the way a lot of us from the generation before our kids' thought about sex. "I want you to come to my funeral someday," I said as I presented the little gift to each of them. "I don't want to have to go to yours."

I have never apologized to anyone for doing that. I have no intention to ever do so.

[lexington filly]

62. A good parent is rooted in reality and not in how she wishes

are or denial. You deserve a pat on the back---atta girl!

[sarge43]

63. You are a wise and loving parent

[cui bono]

64. It makes you a great parent.

Kids need to know what they're getting into and how to take precautions. If we had more parents like you we would have less unwanted pregnancies. I agree with your daughter, you go, mom!

[Kath1]

69. Thank you!

Peace, cui bono!

I was doubting myself even though, in my heart, I made the right decisions.

[cui bono]

78. Well that action is something you should never doubt.

Stay strong and don't let the judgmental idiots creep into your head.

[Thinkingabout]

66. Good decision on your part. Did the same old grumpy men complain

About old men going to the doctor for Viagra and Medicare Part D paying for Viagra? For too long we have heard from some people PP should be closed and Rush had a couple shows complaining about paying for BC so women could have sex but still waiting for the complaints about Viagra so men could have sex.

[Shrike47]

68. Good parent. I wish my mother had taken me.

[Kath1]

75. Same here!

I was brought up in an ultra-Catholic family. "Contraception" was a dirty word to them.

Much older and wiser now, I realize that birth control is a beautiful thing!

[bluestateguy]

70. Whatever angry white men believe is usually the wrong answer

nt

[Ilsa]

71. You are a WONDERFUL parent.

You've discarded unreasonable and unhealthy advice for proactive healthcare education for your daughter at a critical time in her life.

Tell the old farts that they 1. they don't know what they are talking about, and 2. they should shut up unless they have vaginas.

[3catwoman3]

110. I would have loved to have...

...seen the old farts faces had that exchange occurred! They probably can't even bring them selves to think the word vagina let alone bear to hear someone say it out loud.

[genxlib]

72. I think you have your answer from the overwhelming response here

But I will add my vote. You are a great parent.

My daughter is only 12 but she has already gone through a comprehensive sex ed program.

Ignorance of consequences is the fault of parents. You should be proud to raise a responsible daughter.

For what it is worth, she apparently appreciated it too.

[Kath1]

80. Yes, she does!

Great to hear about your education of your daughter.

The support here means a lot. PEACE!

[roamer65]

73. A good parent.

I took my sister there when she asked.

[handmade34]

74. good parent!

...and fuck those old men

[DeadLetterOffice]

76. My mother...

...had a best friend who was very very very Catholic. The best friend's middle daughter (of 5) got pregnant at 16. On the way back from visiting her friend and finding out about the pregnancy, my mother told me that if that ever happened to me, not to even bother coming home. I think I was 14 at the time.

I get that my mom was hurting for her friend's pain and angry at her friend's daughter for causing that pain, and she took those feelings out on me. I honestly don't know if she even remembers the conversation, and I suspect she'd be genuinely appalled by the fact that I remember it so vividly 32 years later. And that it's why I never told her about the miscarriage I had at 17.

But it was the ONE AND ONLY TIME the topic of sex, pregnancy, or prevention of same EVER came up between us. Nothing about how not to get pregnant, nothing about sex in the context of relationships, nothing nothing nothing but 'if you get pregnant don't come home.'

You're a FABULOUS parent, and your daughter is lucky to have you.

[Kath1]

79. Wow!

My mother was pretty much the same. I really didn't want my daughter to have to deal with that kind of attitude.

Thanks for your reply. My daughter and I have a very close and loving realtionship.

[City Lights]

77. You sound like a great parent to me.

[livingonearth]

81. You are a GOOD PARENT.

I know another good parent that did exactly the same thing you did. Don't let others judge you about this.

[Mnemosyne]

82. It made you a realistic and responsible parent. nt

[LibGranny]

84. You are not a bad parent! We just live in an age where grumpy ol' men

think they can decide what is best for all women. I also took both of my teenaged daughters to get birth control because I told them "I'd rather they had it and NOT need it than NEED it and not have it!" Both are now nurses with children and they waited until mid-20s to begin their families.

[Kath1]

88. Good for you!

"I'd rather they had it and NOT need it than NEED it and not have it!" - My thoughts, exactly!

[gerogie2]

85. I was raised in catholic Family...

The family agreed with no birth control and abortion was murder stance of the Church. When my cousin became pregnant at 15 my aunt couldn't get her to PP fast enough to obtain an abortion.

[Jenoch]

86. If your daughter was sexually active,

it was of the utmost importance, if she was not sexually active, learnng about birth control was also of the utmost importance. (I would have encouraged her to wait and not engage in coitus at that age.)

[Kath1]

93. She had seen her parents going through a very rough divorse.

She was old beyond her age. I knew she was smoking pot. To this day I don't know if she was having sex. Better safe than sorry.

[WhiteTara]

87. I think you are a wise and compassionate mother

who was looking out for the best interests of her child. I wish my mother had done the same.

[steve2470]

89. you were a good parent nt

[livetohike]

90. Loving parent. If I had children, I would have done the same as you.

Thank you for guiding your daughter in this way .

[Lefta Dissenter]

91. I don't know...

an alternative would have been to take her for a fitting for a chastity belt.

Once I was married and had kids, I found out that my mom had talked with our family doctor early on, letting him know that if any of us girls asked for birth control, he should provide it. I guess she wasn't ready to be a grandma at that point in her life, and we sure as HELL weren't ready to be moms!

[Enthusiast]

92. The f-bombs were perfectly well justified.

K&R.

You were being a responsible parent. 16 year old daughters have a rapidly ticking biological clock. Just like every young man in their circle of friends. Certain things are inevitable.

[Omaha Steve]

94. Our daughter went to Planned Parenthood while she was in high school

I remember one time she asked me to stop by and pick up her prescription. I remember the warm feeling I had that my daughter was able to trust me enough to ask. That would have never flown at my house when I was a teen. Prevention was "don't do that".

My first daughter was adopted out (closed) because the birth mom and I were so young: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024873307

[proReality]

95. It makes you a responsible parent. n/t

[Freddie]

96. You were a great parent!

When my daughter was a young teen she had monthly cramps so bad she'd miss school every month. Doctor told me the "gold standard" to solve the problem was the Pill; problem solved. And when she started dating I could sleep at night knowing that was one less thing to worry about. I checked frequently to make sure she took it every day.
I was ready to take my son's HS girlfriend to PP--discussed it with both of them--but her mother beat me to it.

[mackerel]

97. Obviously you're a responsible parent. Passing judgement on you made them bad

humans.

[2banon]

98. I did when my daughter was 15/16. She's 43 now, has 2 beautiful daughters

oldest granddaughter is almost 6 six years old, the second going on "3 and 3/4" (lol!)

Those pregnancies were planned, and given that she's in a same sex marriage, there was a lot more involved in the planning process.

The reason why I took her to Planned Parenthood was because I told her, IF she was becoming sexually active, or was planning being sexually active sometime in the near future, that it was better to be on the pill BEFORE anything happened. I told her to just say the word, and I'll take her to the clinic, and I promised no questions asked. She kept her promise, and i kept mine.

One of the few things I did right as a parent of a Teen at the time.

Religious organizations are the enemies of Women. Once you understand that, you'll no longer question the common sense approach to deeply personal decisions Women have to face every day.

[awoke_in_2003]

99. A good parent realizes...

that, no matter what, teens are going to have sex, so you may as well arm them with information to protect themselves from disease and pregnancy. Those who believe different are putting their kids at risk.

[mcar]

100. You are not only not a bad parent

You are a loving, responsible parent.

[sadoldgirl]

101. Very wise mom

What makes me so mad is the slow(?) disappearance of PP clinics in the red states. They are so desperately needed. For a lot of kids and/or moms it is the only place to get the needed help. There was a time once when people talked about a pill for the male gender. I have never heard of it again, but I am sure, that the guys would love it, and therefore the ACA would be allowed to cover it.

[barbtries]

102. i hope not, because

i did it with my daughter - it was clear she would soon be sexually active and i didn't want her to have to cope with an unwanted pregnancy. she was 16. i had asked her if she was having sex before she did, and she cried and was upset, but within a very few months she came to me and said it's time. no judgment, just reality.

so many of these same people - and i could give examples but suffice it to say i have seen this with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears - when their daughter comes home pregnant, immediately scream for an abortion. it is beyond hypocrisy - it is stupid and unrealistic.

[LittleBlue]

103. Those protestors don't even understand what Planned Parenthood does

They really think that every woman who walks through the doors are looking for abortions.

[savalez]

104. No need to explain.

You had your reasons. Your grumpy extended family can suck it.

[quarbis]

105. From a"historical" Catholic

I'm a 66 yo. Ex-seminarian who believes that the 'C'atholic church is nothing but a. Collection of old white men that need to grow and join the Human Race

[intaglio]

107. Good parent

I'd actually suggest that the Grumpy Old Men go to Planned Parenthood for some advice.

[sheshe2]

109. You are an awesome mother, Kath.

Don't let anyone tell you any different!

[Arugula Latte]

111. Our oldest kid got a box of condoms when he started going out with his first girlfriend.

We said: "We hope you won't need these for awhile, but they're here if you do. Also, if your friends need some, you have them to donate."

We didn't want to be the type of parents who say "Wow, I never imagined my son/daughter would do such a thing and now I'm Grandma/Grandpa!"

Our youngest will get the same information and resources.

Also: MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS KNOW ABOUT AFTER-THE-FACT BIRTH CONTROL! Tell them it's not just "day after" -- it's more like "several days after." And tell them to tell their friends!

[Cha]

112. I think your daughter has the final say on that, Kath.. and she says..

"You go, mom!" Our kids are the last word on that.

[Kath1]

120. Thanks so much, Cha!

I am so very moved and appreciative for the outpouring of support I got here on DU!

Having been raised Catholic, I had thought I was anti-abortion. Then I had a real scare when I was in my junior year of college. I knew I couldn't deal with it and would have to terminate it. Turned out I was not pregnant but the experience really changed my mind. I was not nearly as anti-abortion as I thought I was! Got to to thinking how thankful I was that I had a choice and that other women should have options, also.

I'm glad I took my daughter to PP at 16. The last thing she needed, or anyone needs, is an unwanted pregnancy. PP did an excellent job in educating her and providing her the means for safe and healthy sex...no judgments, no guilt.

[Cha]

121. And, Because you are a caring thinking person who learned from her experience.. you're

able to put yourself in another's place. It's up to an individual and whomever else she cares to consult.. not the government.

And, PP just makes sense that there would be less heartbreaking decisions needing to be made.

[jazzimov]

113. " My daughter's well-being was my concern."

" I was only doing what I thought was right."

I have to agree with your daughter: "You go, mom!"

This is from a grumpy old white guy.

[smirkymonkey]

114. Absolutely not!

You are a great parent! You took your daughter's well being into your hands and put it first. To hell with what anybody else says about it. It sounds like your daughter appreciates your efforts and loves you for it, so I think you absolutely did the right thing here.

[Hekate]

115. Good Mom!

[Triana]

116. NO. Don't let the grumpy old white patriarchs affect your self-image as a Mom

You did the right thing!

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

117. No - a pregnancy can be disastrous in a high school kid's life

In fact it can be disastrous to the families of both kids involved. Teens have sexual desires and are going to be kids. Some can wait to act on them until they are out of high school but some can't. The old grumps who call you a bad parent don't remember what it was like to be a kid, with their hormones set on "10", with their tumultuous emotions, and their lack of wisdom that comes with age. To expect all kids to engage in abstinence is unrealistic, especially given today's role models, films, music, and the fact their parents work so much and they spend time alone. I'll bet if you went back in time to the days those grumpy old men were 15 or 16, you'd find they were drooling over young high school girls and trying to get them to do things with them.

[LynneSin]

118. They see you as a 'bad parent' because you are raising a smart, indepentant woman

In their eyes you should have been teaching her to be docile and serve a man.

[CBGLuthier]

119. One act can not always define good or bad but no, I consider your taking your daughter

there to be the act of a responsible and caring, i.e. GOOD parent.

I am blessed in that I do not have relatives like this other than my sister-in-law and we just laugh and call her names behind her bigoted nasty ass.