Nation Debates Extremely Complex Issue of Children Firing Military Weapons

[IDemo]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Across the United States on Wednesday, a heated national debate began on the extremely complex issue of children firing military weapons.

“Every now and then, the nation debates an issue that is so complicated and tricky it defies easy answers,” says pollster Davis Logsdon. “Letting small children fire automatic weapons is such an issue.”

Logsdon says that the thorny controversy is reminiscent of another ongoing national debate, about whether it is a good idea to load a car with dynamite and drive it into a tree.

“Many Americans think it’s a terrible idea, but others believe that with the correct supervision, it’s perfectly fine,” he says. “Who’s to say who’s right?”

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nation-debates-extremely-complex-issue-children-firing-military-weapons?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_Borowitz%20%28116%29&CUST_ID=16449100&spMailingID=6996132&spUserID=NzA5MDgxNTQ3NDAS1&spJobID=502986273&spReportId=NTAyOTg2MjczS0

[Fred Sanders]

1. The insane versus sane folks debate, all sides must be heard. Freedom of stupidity.

[loyalsister]

2. When you have to check whether or not it's satire, the writer has done their job well.

"Much like the long-running national debates about jumping off a roof, licking electrical sockets, and gargling with thumbtacks, the vexing question of whether children should fire military weapons does not appear headed for a swift resolution."

gets to the heart of the ridiculousness of some of the debates we are having over guns in this country.

[gratuitous]

3. You can just hear someone concluding the discussion

"Well, we'll just have to leave it there, as our time is up. Next on Blatherheads, did someone you've never heard of go too far in reminding the world that she has sexual organs? We'll be slut-shaming with our all-star panel of Bryan Fischer, Bill Donohue, and Phyllis Schlafly . . . Next!"

[DefenseLawyer]

5. "We'll have to leave it there"

Says Wolf Blitzer every time some gun nut says something nutty on CNN.

[Thinkingabout]

4. This young lady was stiff with fear, trying to apparently fulfill the dreams of her parents.

She was put in a position her body was not able to handle and ended tragedy. I hope parents can look at this tape and realize they are not capable of handling this type of weapons. NRA needs to get their heads on straight and push for the end of kids and weapons.

[dickthegrouch]

6. Seems reminscent of the pilot of Tyrant on F/X

A 9-year old is told to kill by his father and his (younger) brother does it for him, starting a tyrannical dynasty in an already unstable country. I know it's fiction, but it is a very plausible explanation for how people become monsters.

[napkinz]

7. and the NRA comes through, again ...