Nation debates extremely complex issue of children firing military weapons

[KamaAina]

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nation-debates-extremely-complex-issue-children-firing-military-weapons

Across the United States on Wednesday, a heated national debate began on the extremely complex issue of children firing military weapons.

“Every now and then, the nation debates an issue that is so complicated and tricky it defies easy answers,” says pollster Davis Logsdon. “Letting small children fire automatic weapons is such an issue.”

Logsdon says that the thorny controversy is reminiscent of another ongoing national debate, about whether it is a good idea to load a car with dynamite and drive it into a tree....

Much like the long-running national debates about jumping off a roof, licking electrical sockets, and gargling with thumbtacks, the vexing question of whether children should fire military weapons does not appear headed for a swift resolution.

Relax, people. It's Borowitz. Maybe he could tell the New Yorker to stop printing their g.d. headlines in ALL CAPS, thus forcing me to keyboard them.

[longship]

1. Well worth an R&K

Gargling with thumbtacks!!

Borowitz is priceless.

[LiberalAndProud]

2. Ouch. That's some painful humor right there.

Also, K&R.

[malthaussen]

3. I'm sure our politicians will make some "tough decisions,"

... by which they will mean doing the exact opposite of what the American people wish.

Yeah, I know, Borowitz. But he's funny because he's accurate.

-- Mal