Left Behind Movie Starring Nicolas Cage should be titled

[kairos12]

Conned Air

[kentauros]

1. Or "Knowing Con"

"Gone in 6 Seconds"
"Rapturing Arizona"
"Irrational treasure"
"Ghost Rapture"
"Bringing Up the Dead"

[kairos12]

3. Leaving Las Vegas Without Your Winnings

[get the red out]

4. For us down here

It would be THANK YOU TERMINEX!

[Orrex]

2. Nice!

I edited the wiki page for the new film a few weeks ago, but my edits were removed for some reason...

[Tommy_Carcetti]

5. How about, "I'll do any script you give me, just hire me and I'll do it!"

"Wait, am I in a movie now or not?"

[pintobean]

6. .

[Tommy_Carcetti]

7. You want to make your own Nicholas Cage movie? Now you can!

http://nicolascageplotgenerator.weebly.com/

Warning: No matter what, somebody will get kidnapped.

My personal favorite: "Nicolas Cage plays an alcoholic caterpillar whose Chinese food delivery man gets kidnapped during a solar eclipse and is locked in a runaway stage coach."

[Tommy_Carcetti]

8. This one's not bad, either.

"Nicolas Cage plays a living toy whose daughter-in-law gets kidnapped by no one and Cage yells incoherently about it for an hour and fifty-three minutes. "

[Tommy_Carcetti]

9. Or this one.

"Nicolas Cage plays a gigolo whose arch nemesis gets kidnapped at a UFC match and is asked to write a 500 word essay on the rise of the Ottoman Empire. "

[Johonny]

18. If it co-stars Sean Connery then I'm in for the evening

[LuvNewcastle]

31. I used to like Nicholas Cage, but it's so sad to see an actor become so desperate.

I'd have more respect for him if he was doing porn now.

[WilliamPitt]

10. Lord of Derp

[hifiguy]

11. Anyone who pays to see this

for any reason other than hipster irony, is getting exactly what they deserve.

[Initech]

12. The trailer alone is cheesy beyond words.

The Christian right will probably show up in droves though.

[deutsey]

13. How about: "Left Beehind"?

[pintobean]

21. Couldn't dodge that bullet, I guess.

[hootinholler]

33. Odd

The crosshairs are never actually on him. No shot was dodged lol.

[kentauros]

23. "I'm covered in bees!!!"

[LibertyLover]

14. Too bad he already appeared in the film

"Kiss of Death" , because as stinkola as this film is going to be, that's what it could do to his career.

[hifiguy]

17. At least he wasn't in "Atlas Shrugged"

That is good, I guess?

[longship]

26. So at least he's got that going for him.

I am not sure whether Hollywood stars measure their success by the number of really bad films they did not act in. However, if such a metric is adopted, I recommend it be called the "Nicholas Cage Index", with Cage himself undoubtedly having the lowest score.



on edit: brain fart... Cage, not Gage.

[BillZBubb]

15. Last Times at Ridgemont High?

[Bonx]

22. that cracked me up

[kairos12]

28. Thread Winner!

[REP]

16. Nicholas Cage Needs Money

[maryellen99]

19. Doesn't he owe the IRS? Nt

[blkmusclmachine]

20. Is Cage gonna be another Kirk Cameron?!?!

[tanyev]

24. Here's the one they should have made.

[LisaLynne]

25. Nice! nt

[kairos12]

27. LOL

[blm]

29. Tim LaHaye's Left Behind books were bankrolled by Korean cult leader RevMoon.

Back in the 70s, LaHaye was considered an expert at mind control. LaHaye and Moon were connected through GHWBush's CIA.

Those Left Behind books and their political persuasion theology were CRAFTED......with deliberation.

[haele]

30. They were definately crafted with a "light reading" low-information reader in mind.

Simplistic, over-stimulating schlock paced like bodice rippers and male revenge/exploitation novels. You aren't supposed to notice the amount of iconography and propaganda dedicated to his Xtian-in-name-only theology plugged into every other lurching, plot-hole ridden page, either.
It took me 7 days to slog through the first book because I was critiquing it for a (at that time) friend who had been thinking of joining the store-front born-again cult members of her family had been suckered into and wanted my serious opinion on this great novel that they thought was symbolic of the type of persecution modern Christianity was being exposed to. I thought she wanted a rebuttal, so I was as serious about reading it as I would be an analysis reading for college.
The one thing I could say positively is that at least LeHay didn't have his protagonists break into 50-page justifications of a particular point of theology.

But dayem- when I'm stuck underway for weeks and my only "new" choices for late night stay-awake reading material are winnowed down to "The Executioner" series (vague plot, ridiculous action, but at least a smidgen of black humor and flow to the writing), Louis L'more (sometime hackneyed, but always well-written), the obligatory Clancy, King and Ludlam knock-offs, Battlefield Earth, a Bible, or the Left Behind Series, I'd be able to finish and somewhat enjoy any of the former over Left Behind.
At least Battlefield Earth's "God-figure" wasn't at heart small, pouting, narcissistic, and sadistic bastard with equally pouting and sadistic but sniveling enemies lurching about in a bloody eternal hair-pulling contest to see who was strong enough to over-turn the chess board and declare themselves the winner.

That series is truly that insultingly bad.


Haele

[sakabatou]

32. Is he going to have one of his freakouts again?

[Efilroft Sul]

34. Holy Ghost Rider