"How Playing Good Christian Housewife Almost Killed Me"

[Triana]

. . .

But for me, the primary break up was with Jesus. You see, being in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is a set up for dysfunctional game-playing and crazy-making head trips. According to Christianity, Jesus subjected himself to torture and death, so that we could have the “free gift” of eternal life … and by “free,” he means, it’s only going to cost you everything you have and everything you are.

When the very definition of perfect love is sacrificing your children and martyring yourself, there is no place for emotionally healthy concepts like boundaries, consent, equality, and mutuality. I could not say that my husband’s patriarchal behavior was abusive so long as I was committed to a relationship with “The Big Guy” who exemplifies the abusive bully, and who commands his followers to imitate His very warped and twisted idea of “love.”

THE REST:

http://www.alternet.org/belief/how-playing-good-christian-housewife-almost-killed-me

[blm]

1. Un-evolved men wrote 'rules' and pretended they came from Christ.

The cowards didn't have the guts to say it was their own preferences....not even back then.

[Gore1FL]

17. They wrote Christ too. n/t

[kickitup]

2. Thank you for sharing this.

I'll just share two experiences from my childhood fundamentalist church:

1) We girls were taught that one is to submit in all things to her husband, and then the scripture about how Sarah called Abraham "Lord" was trotted out to really bring that lesson home.

2) We girls were not allowed to speak. Yes, even in Sunday School girls were not allowed to speak. One time, the teacher asked us to turn to Philemon and I couldn't find it. I also couldn't ask for help as I would have had to speak. I shut my Bible, the teacher glared at me, thinking I was being stubborn. I was so ashamed.

People who have not been raised or indoctrinated in these fundamentalist sects have no idea how difficult it can be to come out of it and erase certain thought processes.

[JNelson6563]

3. Very good article!

It points to what many would rather not think/talk about; relationship with bible-god can only be the dysfunctional kind because he's a sociopath.

Julie

[ReRe]

4. Don't even get me started... n/t

[librechik]

5. thanks for posting

always going round n round w my Baptist mom about this. She's totally brainwashed.

[kickitup]

7. I am my mother's biggest disappointment. My brother doesn't go to her church either,

but, since I'm female, I am considered rebellious to a greater extent than he is.

I wish my mother could see, and perhaps on some level she does, that my "rebellion" against the church might be due to something she did do right instead of seeing it as a failure on her part.

It's just sad.

[logosoco]

11. My mom tried very hard to get my sister and I raised up Catholic.

She explained to us that her divorce from my dad did not really matter to the church because he was not Catholic and she was not married in the church. Then, as adolescents, we knew she was taking birth control pills and that the church frowned on that (because we had an aunt and an uncle who had 6 kids each, because they were into the church as well).

I think now that I am almost 50 and my mom is almost 80 she understands that she left the door open, and my sister and I figured it out for ourselves and walked away from that mess as soon as we could (which was about at age 12).

As long as churches are doing this and women are going along with it, women are not going to be free.

[PeoViejo]

6. Religion is a Veneration Disease.

Veneration demands giving it to someone else.

[WinkyDink]

8. I am under the impression that the NT's teachings supersede the OT. Christ was certainly NOT a

raving misogynist.

[LiberalAndProud]

9. New Testament

1 Timothy 2:12
"I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."

Although I believe Vyckie was a Proverbs 31 woman.

[colorado_ufo]

12. Only the Gospels (the first four books, or chapters) of the NT contain quotations from Jesus.

We also need to view all these things in their historical context, in the light of what the people in those cultures were used to and the political environment of the times. Rome ruled with an iron fist; people of the region lived their lives on a day to day basis in the Jewish religion; and punishments on all sides were harsh, swift, and often unjust. Stonings and crucifixions were the order of the day. When Herod thought there was a child who would grow up to threaten his reign, he ordered all the male children two and under to be slaughtered - and the Roman soldiers complied (no doubt under their own threat of death). If women then were to suddenly and publicly "buck the system," no one would have thought twice about dispensing with them. Change had to come slowly. To understand some things, they must be viewed in a greater context of their own times and not of today.today's fundamentalist religions make that same mistake backwards: they take today's lives and cultures and try to put them into a backward and agrarian world, for their own purposes or out of ignorance.

[LiberalAndProud]

14. I understand the "cultural envelope" argument.

That's the sort of Christian environment I was raised in as well.

However, to call Vyckie's belief system untrue "because Christ" is very unfair.

I would be happy to continue this discussion in the Religion group.

[colorado_ufo]

28. I have no wish to be unfair to anyone, and I deeply respect people's experiences and views.

A discussion with you would be very enjoyable, and I am sure that I would learn much. But my time is very short, as I work full time, have a business as well, and also do volunteer work (and have small ranch). I just wanted to offer a few thoughts; please feel free to discard them.

[Le Taz Hot]

39. My understading is that the NT

"fulfills" the OT, it does not replace it. Don't ask me to explain that.

[Veganhealedme]

10. I'm from the FUCK RELIGION camp.. recced nt

[asjr]

13. I've always wondered who the proof reader was as

the New Testament was being written.

[LibDemAlways]

15. People who belong to fundamentalist sects like

tv's Duggar family take this craziness even further. A woman's only role is as a wife and mother. No education for girls beyond the spartan home schooling they receive using a fundie curriculum. And they must keep a smile on their faces at all times. No emotion allowed.

The "courtship" rules are draconian. No physical contact except "side hugs,"and hand holding only when engaged. No kissing until legally wed. All of this enforced through the use of chaperones who stay with the couple when they are together. And the father determines who the girls may "court." Marriage is a "transfer of authority" from father to husband.

Of course there are rules regarding modest dress as well. Apparently knees and shoulders inspire impure thoughts. And if they happen to encounter a person in shorts or a tank top, they are instructed to look away and say "Nike" to warn others to look away as well.

The oldest son works for the Family Research Council, where his job seems to be endorsing tea party candidates and spewing rightwing anti-gay hate.

And these people are well paid for parading this shitshow in front of the gullible public who see them as a fine, wholesome Godly bunch instead of the freak show they are.

[Arugula Latte]

25. That Duggar mother unnerves me.

The way she talks in that high, singsongy voice -- she addresses adults as if she's talking to preschoolerd. Creepy as all get-out.

[LibDemAlways]

26. The voice is by design. They have to be

cheerful at all times, and the voice is a part of it.

Creepy, you bet.

[shanti]

29. yeah, "keep sweet"

like the fundy mormon women.

[Rozlee]

27. Underneath it all, they're a seething cauldron.

I was reading somewhere that Utah has one of the nation's highest use of anti-depressants and the clergy of the LDS rose in an uproar when some clinical psychologists suggested that it was due to the constraints their religion puts on them. The average number of Americans who use anti-depressants is one in ten and among Mormon women, it was one in five. Mormon women are always supposed to be out in public with sunny smiles and projecting an image of tranquil, content motherhood. They're urged to show the world that Mormons have ideal lives and families, but I guess trying to keep up the Stepford wife facade eventually comes with a price tag.

[valerief]

16. Freedom costs everything you have and are? Ownlife is ungood.

War is Peace.

[FiveGoodMen]

19. You left out Freedom is Slavery, which REALLY fits!

(because they call slavery 'freedom')

[valerief]

20. And Ignorance is Strength. nt

[FiveGoodMen]

21. Which shouldn't be true, but it certainly is prevailing in America.

[valerief]

22. The ignorance of populace gives the PTB strength.

Warring performed by the populace makes the PTB wealthy and that gives them peace.
The freedom to do whatever the PTB wants is made possible by enslaving the populace.

It all makes sense.

[RadiationTherapy]

18. I sometimes think religion will inevitably fall merely due to PR about the factual, day-to-day lives

This "quiverfull" movement looks to me like a fantasy role-playing game or something. This is just wild.

[Arugula Latte]

23. It is RIDICULOUS that that stupid-ass book of myths still has so much sway over this society.

Just ridiculous.

[yellowwoodII]

24. Free at Last. Free at Last.

When one has felt trapped within a restrictive punitive religion, it is such a relief to really be able to get out of it. It's hard, because it was so much a part of the culture in which we were raised. The world looks so different, so much better. One's morality can be increased because it is not dependent on someone else's ideas.
Anybody who has felt trapped and is afraid to get out should take a chance. Step out of the trap. It's a whole new, better world.

[Maineman]

31. I finally was able to break out of the fundamentalist world in my early 30s. It was difficult.

Logic and common sense were up against the mental and social programming that had occurred over 30 years. As a young teenager, I had it figured out, but I could not break free. When I did break free I discovered I did not need to think in dichotomous terms -- evil versus good with no in-between. I discovered that other people could often be trusted. I discovered that I could think and make decisions about my life and my future -- as opposed to trying to identify God's Will. I discovered that other thoughts and ideas were often worth considering -- and need not be scary.

Trying to find God's Will had left my career in a hell of a mess. I had even tried going into the ministry. My first useful step to escape was to conclude that God put birds in trees and fish in water, places where they fit. I should find someplace where I fit. After I started exploring more honest religious thinkers than I had been exposed to, I was eventually (it took a long time and several psychology books) able to break free and become a firm and comfortable agnostic. Atheist might actually be more accurate. As for organized religion, I think that two features of mankind, greed and religion, are planet earth's biggest problems. In the name of religion, people do many of the most abhorrent things. (To find abhorrent I looked up horrible in the Thesaurus and found that essentially all of the related words were appropriate.)

Someone once said to me, "What if the teachings about God, heaven, and hell are true?" My reply is, "What if NONE OF THAT IS TRUE?" My most faith oriented position is that if there is a god, he, she, or it will have to take care of me because none of the organized religions have it figured out.

I recommend logic and education. I recommend seeking truth, honest truth. It will set you free.

[maced666]

30. Husband made wife convert to Islam and it DID kill her.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2640681/Controlling-Muslim-husband-forced-wife-convert-Islam-wear-hijab-killed-pregnant-jailed-17-years.html

[Dont call me Shirley]

32. Patriarchy has caused so much damage to this earth and society, male control over others at all cost

The evolution of this disease called patriarchy is reaching its pinnacle. It is causing mental illness and depression, physical illness, loss of higher emotions and sane reasoning, magical fantastical thinking, war, corporations which exist to cause harm disease and death, loss of real community, narcissistic worship, destruction of our Mother Earth home.......death of caring.

That Jesus died to save us from our sins only gives people license to behave badly even criminally, thinking they will go to heaven for just believing that Jesus has saved them. It's an insane concept.

Teaching insanity one generation after another, giving some truth to the sins of the fathers.

I am not blaming all males; there are many men who understand that patriarchy is degenerating into an insane society.

Also the pyramid structure of society, with a special few who get to have everything they desire at the top, to the bottom rows who must fight for the crumbs at the bottom. This is a destructive and insane way to structure society, leading to families just like the one which is highlighted in the article.

We MUST return to an egalitarian horizontally structured society in order to begin functioning sanely and to heal ourselves, the earth, and all species of this beautiful planet we call home.

[Triana]

33. +1 n/t

[Dont call me Shirley]

34. Thanks for posting. A good thread of discussion since domestic violence is in the msm lately.

[Tumbulu]

36. So well stated, thanks! (nt)

[YOHABLO]

35. Sorry, but religion is nothing more than a cult. Think David Koresh

[3catwoman3]

37. Why are women viewed...

...as such a threat by so many cultures/religions? Apologies if this sounds like a naive question, but I truly don't get it.

[Triana]

38. Women aren't afraid of power...

..but power is afraid of women. I expect some of the cause is Biblical bullshit that has programmed into people's heads the from the minute they popped out of...a woman. And that is viewed as some magical-mystical power but really it's just the same thing flies, dogs, cats, moose, trees, flowers, and every other species on the planet does. Too many people can't or don't want to grok the science, guzzle themselves drunk with mysticism and religion, and thus can't see women as sentient living things - worthy of agency, respect, or care. They're instead seen as some sort of machinery, cattle, service units, profit centers. Just like Earth.

Oh "God" what would happen if women had minds, souls and consciences and could use them and they worked just as good if not better than the minds of others? What if they were allowed to be leaders? Oh my. Too scary to contemplate. Look how they hate Hillary. And I'm not even talking about her policies or political beliefs. She could be Harold and have the same policies and beliefs and not be hated as much as she is. It's the "she" part that adds extra bile atop any disagreement with her beliefs or political stances.

Humans - evolve?

When? Haven't seen much evidence of that - if it's happening it's not happening fast enough for this species to save itself. Over half of it is disregarded as mongrel by the rest. The human animal is selfish, lazy, ignorant, and greedy - worst of all they are disconnected with the planet which sustains them and not surprisingly with the female of their species, too - since all are part of the same type of life-giving and life-sustaining energy. Sure that's a powerful thing, but endeavoring to despise, oppress, control, and selfishly use abuse it isn't the answer. It should be respected and cared for.

I won't hold my breath waiting for that to happen. Oh we're the most intelligent species on this planet? REALLY?

Obviously. NOT.

[Dont call me Shirley]

41. According to the book of genesis, the woman caused the first sin by believing the

snake and eating the apple. So because of a metaphorical story women have been blamed for dragging the whole world into sinfulness for the past five thousand years. Crazy, insane isn't it!?

The book of genesis is the basis of 3 major religions, so more than half the world is subjected to this wrong thought which has poisoned society.

[Triana]

42. Eve was framed. n/t

[Dont call me Shirley]

43. Good analysis

[alphafemale]

40. Because the power of women when exerted is absolute.

It must be crushed by force.

[XemaSab]

44. Vyckie Garrison knew that her husband was molesting her daughter and she did nothing

She gets no sympathy from me.

[yortsed snacilbuper]

45. Vyckie Garrison