Exit Polls Indicate Nation Suffering from Severe Memory Loss

[Hissyspit]

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/exit-polls-indicate-nation-suffering-severe-memory-loss

Exit Polls Indicate Nation Suffering from Severe Memory Loss
BY ANDY BOROWITZ

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Exit polls conducted across the country on Election Day indicate a nation suffering from severe memory loss, those who conducted the polls confirmed Tuesday night.

According to the polls, Americans who cast their votes today had a difficult time remembering events that occurred as recently as six years ago, while many seemed to be solid only on things that have happened in the past ten days.

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[AnnieBW]

1. Seriously.

How can people forget that these fuckers were the ones that shut down the Federal government this time last year?

[morningfog]

2. Nation also suffering from piss poor Democratic Party campaigning.

[PFunk]

3. Either way it means NOTHING will get done in the next two years.

And we'll have a much more divided country in the process. Crap.

[neverforget]

4. Too bad the Democrats didn't remind voters of the shutdown last year

or the threats of impeachment or just the fucking gridlock.

[morningfog]

6. Amazing, isn't it?

[neverforget]

8. Amazing in a bad way

Remember how angry most of the populace was last year when the Republicans shut down the government? I guess national Democrats don't either. Unbelievable.

[marions ghost]

9. Doesnt get through

to people who aren't going to pay attention to anything but their team cheerleaders.

[BayouBengal07]

5. Bingo.

I remember thinking on election night in 2008 and 2012 how far we'd come in the few short years since 2004, when, according to CNN's exit polling, "terrorism" and "moral values" (read: state constitutional amendments banning gay marriage) were the top two topics on voters' minds in the booth. And now it's all wiped away. Might as well bring back the color coded terror alert system and make room in the jailhouses for mothers who've responsibly terminated their pregnancies.

"The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."

- Winston Churchill

[nc4bo]

7. Seriously.

I just can't believe so many idiots exist!

[Initech]

10. GOP to electorate: you are all going to die tonight.

[G_j]

11. yep

Harland Dorrinson, who voted in Akron, Ohio, and who has no memory of anything that happened before 2013, said his main concern was a terrorist attack on American soil.

“I really think we need to put a party in charge that won’t ever let something like that happen,” he said.

[libtodeath]

12. Exit polls indicate half the country is dumber then shit