A sexual harassment policy that nearly ruined my life

[True Earthling]

Yale student's ex-girlfriend files sexual misconduct complaint to Yale's University-Wide Committee on Sexual Misconduct. After demanding that fact-finding be done by requesting a formal complaint be filed...he is told “There’s nothing to clear your name of”...

http://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2014/11/03/sexual-harassment-policy-that-nearly-ruined-life/hY3XrZrOdXjvX2SSvuciPN/story.html?event=event25

Harvard’s new policies are substantially similar to those already in effect at Yale, my alma mater. While an undergraduate there, my ex-girlfriend filed an informal complaint against me with the then-newly-created University-Wide Committee on Sexual Misconduct. The committee summoned me to appear and styled the meeting as a form of mediation. Its chairman, a professor with no prior experience handling dispute resolution, told me that I could have a faculty adviser present but no lawyer, and instructed me to avoid my accuser, who, by that point, I had neither seen nor spoken to in weeks. The committee imposed an “expectation of confidentiality” on me so as to prevent any form of “retaliation” against my accuser.

I would say more about what the accusation itself entailed if indeed I had such information. Under the informal complaint process, specific accusations are not disclosed to the accused, no fact-finding takes place, and no record is taken of the alleged misconduct. For the committee to issue an informal complaint, an accuser need only bring an accusation that, if substantiated, would constitute a violation of university policy concerning sexual misconduct. The informal “process” begins and ends at the point of accusation; the truth of the claim is immaterial.

The complaint lodged against me caused me and my family immense grief, and as a simple Google search of my name reveals, its malignant effects have not abated. It cost me my reputation and credibility, the opportunity to become a Rhodes scholar, the full-time job offer I had worked so hard to attain, and the opportunity to achieve my childhood dream of playing in the NFL. I have had to address it with every prospective employer whom I’ve contacted, with every girl that I’ve dated since, and even with Harvard Law School during my admissions interview. It is a specter whose lingering presence is rooted in its inexplicability.

[NaturalHigh]

1. Guilty until proven innocent.

"In closing, the reader might note that I have yet to even address the question of whether I was innocent of the accusation. I was. But it does not come up at any point above for the same reason that it never came up in any of the actions taken against me — because by the nature of the proceedings that follow from these new policies, it simply does not matter."

[samsingh]

28. and that's the direction things are going in

anyone defending a man will be accused of condoning the crime that has yet to be proven

[el_bryanto]

2. The problem with first person testimony is that it's hard to verify

In particular the claim that he would have been drafted into the NFL if it were not for this complaint doesn't ring true. It also only presents the policy in the most damning way possible. As presented it seems kind of crazy; but I'm guessing there is another side to this story.

Bryant

[True Earthling]

7. Witt was a marginal NFL prospect at best

He was rated the #21 QB and possible 7th rd draft choice but more likely an undrafted FA according to NFL Draftscout.

[Sheldon Cooper]

3. How can he say this:

In closing, the reader might note that I have yet to even address the question of whether I was innocent of the accusation. I was.

When he first said this:

I would say more about what the accusation itself entailed if indeed I had such information. Under the informal complaint process, specific accusations are not disclosed to the accused, no fact-finding takes place, and no record is taken of the alleged misconduct.

Either he knows what the accusation was, and declares his innocence, or he doesn't know it and claims bewilderment. Which is it?

[Schema Thing]

6. If you are not guilty of anything, you then of course know that you are innocent

of any accusation.

[Sheldon Cooper]

9. Sure, in your own mind.

That doesn't mean you're not guilty, however.

[Schema Thing]

14. lol, ok.

[Sheldon Cooper]

16. You seem skeptical.

So let's take a look at the biggest issue on campus these days: consent. What if that hot shot quarterback had sexual relations with his girlfriend, against her wishes? Normal folks would call that rape, but a surprising number of people don't see it that way at all. They think consent is implied, or expected, or even irrelevant if she is too drunk and passed out to respond.

So, Mr. Football could have raped his girlfriend and yet be absolutely convinced he did nothing wrong. See how that works?

[Nuclear Unicorn]

18. "What if..."

How do you convict someone of a "what if"?

[Sheldon Cooper]

21. Who was convicted of anything?

And to be blindingly obvious, since apparently that's necessary here, my example was a hypothetical. If we knew what the actual charges were, we'd be able to discuss specifics in more detail. I was merely responding to a discussion with someone else about how you could be totally convinced that you are innocent when in fact you are not.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

23. "If we knew what the actual charges were..."

Exactly.

There's a reason free societies do not employ secret tribunals.

[Sheldon Cooper]

24. Well, this has been enlightening.

So, bye now.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

15. Well of course someone who did what you did would say something like that. nt

[lumberjack_jeff]

17. Interesting catch 22 you've constructed there.

i.e. How can he claim he's innocent? He doesn't even know what crime he's guilty of!

Guilty until proven innocent? It's worse than that, he's denied the opportunity to provide proof.

[joeglow3]

49. This is the post I figured would be here

Only took three posts and came from someone that didn't shock me.

[Dr. Strange]

51. I know, right?

It's like the perfect Orwellian concoction.

[LittleBlue]

4. Sign nothing, agree to nothing

And hire a lawyer. It doesn't matter what this jumped-up sociology professor thinks about whether you're entitle to legal counsel. You are. And if the professor-turned-judge doesn't like it, he can see you in court. It's the first mistake anyone makes when dealing with a big accusation in life, believing the person who advises them not to bother with a lawyer.

He should sue the school for all they're worth.

[randome]

5. "...the truth of the claim is immaterial."

Um, there is no truth until the committee decides on where the evidence leads. That sentence fragment is just another way to say "I'm innocent!" Which every guilty individual would say anyways.

There may, indeed, be problems with the process but the way this is addressed is a little overdone, IMO.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]I'm always right. When I'm wrong I admit it.
So then I'm right about being wrong.[/center][/font][hr]

[KingCharlemagne]

8. Is it me or does this author reek of spoiled upper-middle-class privilege? Try as I might,

I'm finding it really difficult to give a shit about his 1% (Yale undergrad\Harvard Law) travails.

[RobinA]

37. So If One Goes To Yale

due process does not apply? I despise the anti-intellectualism that shows up around here so often.

[KingCharlemagne]

38. "I've got a B.A., an M.A., a Ph.D. and I'm a BMF besides" - old Cheech

and Chong bit.

How much sympathy are workers supposed to feel for a Yalie now attending Harvard Law? That isn't anti-intellectualism, it's anti-elitism. But despise away, as it suits you.

[badtoworse]

40. I don't think anyone here despises you, but I don't think anyone here respects you either.

[KingCharlemagne]

41. My, aren't you precious? - nt

[badtoworse]

47. You should self-delete to avoid further embarrassment

[snooper2]

42. Did you know that King Charlemagne was allergic to pickles?

Some of the people he tried to convert who were "in the know" used to just throw pickles at him and he would run away screaming

[KingCharlemagne]

43. You don't care if lenders turn people's cars off while they're driving them, so I think

you've pretty much permanently discredited yourself from having anything meaningful to say going forward.

[snooper2]

45. You believe random articles from non-journalists that say you car will be killed at 78MPH

think more...not that hard LOL-


my "king"

[kcr]

50. How about CBS News?

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/why-the-repo-man-can-remotely-shut-off-your-car-engine/
Or The New York Times? http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/09/24/miss-a-payment-good-luck-moving-that-car/?_php=true&_type=blogs&ref=business&_r=0

[snooper2]

52. Yeah, so except for one lady looking for a payout, it keeps the starter from working

Not killing cars going down the freeway...did you read?

Only a fucking idiot would enable technology like that wanting to get bankrupt. Won't stop people from believing it though...



Last year, Nevada’s Legislature heard testimony from T. Candice Smith, 31, who said she thought she was going to die when her car suddenly shut down, sending her careening across a three-lane Las Vegas highway.
“It was horrifying,” she recalled.
Ms. Smith said that her lender, C.A.G. Acceptance, had remotely activated her ignition interruption device.
“It’s a safety hazard for the driver and for all others on the road,” said her lawyer, Sophia A. Medina, with the Legal Aid Center of Southern Nevada.
Mr. Pena of C.A.G. Acceptance said, “It is impossible to cause a vehicle to shut off while it is operating,” He added, “We take extra precautions to try and work with and be professional with our customers.” While PassTime, the device’s maker, declined to comment on Ms. Smith’s case, the company emphasized that its products were designed to prevent a car from starting, not to shut it down while it was in operation.

[kcr]

53. Yes, I read

I read the same thing you did. G.A.C. is surely an an unbaised source that can be trusted. Sure! There aren't enough ROFLMIAPMGOSMP smilies.

[LeftyMom]

10. Wait, this idiot thinks he was going to the NFL from Yale?

Okay, we already know this person has a complicated relationship with reality. Your chances of being drafted into the NFL are better at Multidirectional State U than at the Ivies. Yale is not exactly a football factory.

in an article full of hand waving and very vague claims, that's a specific one most of America can call bullshit on immediately. The author is a liar.

[True Earthling]

12. He was a marginal NFL prospect

He was rated the #21 QB and possible 7th rd draft choice but more likely an undrafted FA according to NFL Draftscout. I believe most college football players overestimate their chances of being drafted or high they'll be drafted. Very few get drafted higher than they think.

[NCTraveler]

27. It happens.

Within the last couple of years a Harvard grad started in the NFL.

[Comrade Grumpy]

36. That is clearly the key point in this story. Not. Nice diversion, though.

How about addressing the university's apparently fucked up process?

[joeglow3]

46. Do your homework before posting something. Reduces your chances to look like a fool.

[AngryAmish]

11. If you are innocent, then begin litigation immediately

The accuser, defamation, libel and tortious interference. Anyone who helped them, the same thing. Personally sue every school employee involved as well as the school. Breach of contract, title ix. Make it hurt. Make it expensive. Make it go away.

[Schema Thing]

25. sounds expensive

[Enrique]

13. it sounds like a nightmarish injustice

but this is only one side. I wonder if the university will respond.

[NCTraveler]

19. Reading the article it seems his own words go against him.

People who were informed were informed by anonymous sources. It isn't linked to the college. Sounds like he made someone pretty upset and they have done whatever possible to hurt him.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

20. What did he do?

[NCTraveler]

29. I don't know and never said I did.

Not one word I wrote indicated my thoughts on what he did with respect to the validity of the complaint in any way. How do you expect me to know what he did?

[geek tragedy]

22. Dude accuses ex-girlfriend of being a liar, claims

to be pure of heart.

Zzzz

[Tuesday Afternoon]

26. lol ... Daily Non-News

[hunter]

54. Young woman claims awesome dude isn't awesome!

"My reputation is ruined!" he whines.

It could be news from the The Onion.

[Jamastiene]

30. Doesn't pass the smell test. n/t

[hifiguy]

31. In effect a Star Chamber proceeding or witch trial

in which the accused must prove innocence of ill-defined or undisclosed charges. More than a little Stalinist, IMO.

Disgusting.

[Comrade Grumpy]

32. It seems like there is a problem with the process.

No finding of facts.

No chance to challenge them.

It looks like guilt by accusation.

I don't know if this guy did something bad. Neither, apparently does anyone else. And it doesn't even seem to matter. It's enough that the accusation is made.

By the logic of some here, we don't even need to know the facts. The fact that a complaint was made makes it valid.

[riqster]

33. Hmmm. Sounds like a matter for the courts.

If the facts are on his side, he should be pursuing that course.

[hunter]

34. I've always wanted to use this smiley.

His own words and attitude explains everything.

It's not the he-said-she-said issue standing in the way of his success.

[badtoworse]

35. You've been unfairly and seriously damaged, I would file a lawsuit against the University

ETA: I've dealt with sexual harrassment cases in the business world and it's not so one-sided there. Filing a false sexual harrassment claim will generally get the accuser fired. If there really is nothing to her claim, I'd say you have a cause of action against her as well. If nothing else, you should at least talk to a lawyer.

[surrealAmerican]

39. You would think a university with a renowned law school ...

... would have a better handle on this sort of process.

[joeglow3]

48. They want to appear to deal with the issue of sexual assault on campus

While not really creating a paper trail to scare away prospective students. They "handle" it all internally. That way, they can show potential female students that they have systems in place to make their campus "safe" while making sure the stats on campus assaults are crap (since so many are swept under the rug by the campus policy).

No official system for this should exist at a university that doesn't involve law enforcement.

[Nye Bevan]

44. I believe in due process, and the presumption of innocence, for everyone.

Which I am aware is far from being a universal view on this board.