Apparently, Jehovah’s Witnesses are Going Commando.

[riqster]

http://bluntandcranky.wordpress.com/2014/11/12/apparently-jehovahs-witnesses-are-going-commando/

Source info at the link.

See that guy? He is Anthony Morris the Third, and he thinks that wearing tight pants is some kinda Gay Weapon of Mass Destruction, or something:

A member of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses has warned of the perils of tight trousers designed by homosexuals.
Anthony Morris III, a senior member of the Church’s leadership, said: “What’s happened now is that it’s really caught on more – the tight suit jacket and the tight pants. Better known as tight pants. They are tight all the way down to the ankles. It’s not appropriate. It’s not sound of mind.”
“The homosexuals that are designing these clothes – they’d like you in tight pants.”

So, old Tony the Third thinks that loose is the way to go? And that tight pants are somehow wrong? Then he must be in favor of going commando: after all, bikini briefs and jockeys are pretty tight, and boxers can get all bunchy, so the effect of wearing underwear of any sort would seem likely to just bring out the Gay In megaton quantities. And that seems somehow to be a Bad Thing, all that tight fabric around one’s wedding tackle.

Gentle Reader, when a dude from Jehovah’s Witnesses knocks on your door, you can take comfort in his not-at-all-never-ever-ever-gayness, and know that he is a true Commando for Christ, in every sense of the word. At least, if Tony III has anything to say about it.

“Christian Soldiers”, take note of this change in your dress code and drill manual.

[MADem]

1. If anyone in that group ever leaves it, and is gay, and decides to write a "Life Experience"

biography, I can't think of a title that would zoom up the bestseller list faster than

The Perils of Tight Trousers Designed by Homosexuals. It is a title rich in irony, in Nanny-concern, and it's funny as hell, too!

I have to wonder if these clowns were yelling about the sagging pants a few years back?

What have we learned here (that this sad man can't seem to grasp)? It's just "fashion." It's how the young tell us that they're different from us--nothing more, nothing less.

[riqster]

15. And how we told our elders the same thing, as well.

It was pure joy to watch my old man fume as my 'fro developed.

[packman]

2. Best laugh of the day so far

Shit, I remember when blue jeans, Levi's, were a sign that you were a hoodlum and prone to vandalism- DAMN you Elvis, look what you did to American kids.

[riqster]

4. Oh yeah. Used to have to pack corduroys when we toured back in the day.

Because a lot of restaurants and hotels wouldn't serve us if we wore jeans.

[rurallib]

3. I recommend sack-cloth and ashes be

the uniform for all ministers and evangelicals. It is more Christ-like, I believe

[riqster]

5. Ran into a guy once who wore only clothing like Christ would have worn.

Very serious follower of Rebbe Yeshuah he was.

[hunter]

6. That's why I wear a dress.... no, wait, kilt.

There's nothing so manly as a kilt.



Uh, oh...



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilt

Women wearing kilts, men wearing pants, the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

But wait maybe not. It certainly looks like this guy is old enough to remember the 'seventies, both men and women wearing short-shorts.



My peer group was even more radical than that. Sometimes we didn't wear blouses, I mean shirts.

Oh bother.

I had an awesome purple pair of pants then, same color and pattern almost as Mr. Morris's tie.

[riqster]

8. Yep, I have a kilt. In the 70's I had some shorts and elephant bells that make be cringe today.

By JW logic, there should be no gay Scotsmen, since it's hard to have a looser garment than a kilt.

[MADem]

17. But.... did you have ... THE PLATFORMS????

These guys have the CONSERVATIVE look working...

[riqster]

18. Oh hellz yeah. Two pairs.

Long gone, but I had 'em.

[MADem]

21. Ha ha ha! You really did need 'em with the elephant bells!!!! nt

[riqster]

23. And the big cables and pedals we had on stage at the time.

You could get through any gig with those on.

[Brigid]

7. These idiots used to hassle people at the bus transfer center in Terre Haute . . .

At 6:00 in the a.m. Wonder if they still do that.

[Rex]

9. He's just jelly, got to have the right pipes to wear skinny jeans.

The master of skinny jeans.

[riqster]

10. I can tell you that a man of my stature has no business wearing them.

Ah, to be thin again...

[Rex]

11. Skinny is a foreign word

I might could get my arm in skinny jeans.

[riqster]

12. I worked for A&F for a couple months.

Nice thing about being old and fat, they knew I could never wear their clothes, so I was spared the "wear the brand" crap. I wore my 8.99 Steve and Barry jeans to work every day.

Nauseating, elitist, misognystic, sexist organization. Eye-opening for an old freak like me, and not in a good way.

[msanthrope]

13. I guess he's freeballin' it? nt

[riqster]

14. There are some good parodies of "Free Fallin'" out there.

Last edited Wed Nov 12, 2014, 05:03 PM - Edit history (1)

"I like a strong breeze blowin' past my goolies,
Gonna leave shorts off for a while,

Cause I'm FREEEEEEEEEE, freeee ballin'"...

And so on. Eighth grade jokes, but good ones.

[msanthrope]

16. Oh dear....I learned the term 'freeballin' from an 8th grade student of mine, whose unfortunate

sitting posture caused me to see waaaaaayyyyyyy more than I wanted to.

Upon questioning, he told me he had run out of clean shorts that morning.

I told him that's why underwear was made with two sides. I also gave him detailed instructions on how to operate a washing machine.

Good times, good times.....

[riqster]

19. My stars and garters!

Glad I never had that experience.

[tk2kewl]

20. it's very difficult to fit the magic underwear under skinny jeans

[brooklynite]

22. That's Mormons, not JWs.....

[tk2kewl]

24. ah yes...

mormons, jevohas, born-again... all nuts

[riqster]

25. Yep. Mormons have the cool name tags.

[Feral Child]

26. Doesn't he know that purple ties

are from the Gays?

He should wear a manly red tie, just like W.

[riqster]

27. Falwell didn't pass it along, I guess.

[Feral Child]

28. Falwell woudn't talk to *them*

They're not the real Xians, you know, and an Apostate is worse than an Atheist.

[riqster]

29. Yep. Fundies can't pronounce "ecumenical", so it is heresy.

If you can't say it, you can't pray it. Maybe after they solve their linguistic challenges, things will calm down.

[Feral Child]

30. I'm afraid we're stuck with them

until they help cause the next Mass Extinction, which will almost certainly include us.

It's their fondest fantasy.

[riqster]

31. Nononono, they'll be raptured on outta here. Only we will suffer.

Never mind that the Bible says no such thing, of course.