It Doesn’t Need An Explanation: 9 Reasons Catcalling Is Harassment

[niyad]

It Doesn’t Need An Explanation: 9 Reasons Catcalling Is Harassment



. . . . . .

The response to this video has been one of mixed reactions and dispute. But, some of the loudest voices have been those of men, those who don’t consider this type of interaction to be “harassment.”
. . .
Catcalling IS harassment. Here’s why:
It Makes Us Feel Unsafe

I have literally been chased — CHASED — down the street by a man screaming, “Bitch, I’m talking to you!” Onlookers watched me run by, none of whom attempted to help me.

. . . . . t.

You Don’t Know Me — Don’t Tell Me To Smile

How could you possibly know who I am? How could you possibly know whether or not I am happy? Maybe I am having a day from hell. Maybe this is just my face! For some reason, many men expect women to look happy at all times, with smiles stretched across our faces.
. . .

It Is Not Flattering

No, it is not flattering when a man follows you down the street, whistling, hissing, winking or making lewd comments. Similarly, looking a woman up and down and undressing her with your eyes doesn’t feel like much of a compliment, either. In fact, it feels like a violation.
. . .

Women Are Not Here To Please Men

Women are human beings. We don’t owe men anything. We are not obligated to flirt with them, reciprocate conversation with them or even acknowledge men who attempt interacting with us. All of these things are our choice.

. . . .

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/bitch-im-talking-catcalling-harassment/840861/

[LanternWaste]

1. And yet, some dullard will eventually tell us that is "just a compliment".

Over 99 percent of the female respondents said they had experienced some form of street harassment. Ninety-five percent of female respondents were the target of leering or excessive staring at least once. Nearly 95 percent of female respondents were honked at one or more times. Over 87 percent of women said they were the target of a sexist comment. Nearly 82 percent of female respondents were the target of a vulgar gesture at least once. Nearly 81 percent of female respondents were the target of sexually explicit comments from an unknown man at least once. Just over 77 percent of women said they were the target of kissing noises from men. Nearly 57 percent of women reported being touched or grabbed in a sexual way by a stranger in public. More than 37 percent of female respondents have had a stranger masturbate at or in front of them at least once in public.

http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/statistics/sshstudies/




And yet, some dullard will eventually tell us that is "just a compliment."

[niyad]

2. it does make the mind boggle at that kind of mindset.

[BlueJazz]

3. "37 percent of females have had a stranger masturbate in front of them at least once in public."

Damn!! Anyway.

I'm not giving any secrets away when I say: The best chance you'll have with a woman is to treat her like you feel.
And the way you should feel is respectful, understanding and (at least) somewhat polite. If she has any attraction toward you, she'll let you know. If she lets you know OR you read her signs incorrectly, don't take it to heart and don't let anger turn you into a typical prick. ("You fuckin' Bit...&quot
You know, it just makes life a little easier

[niyad]

4. would seem obvious, wouldn't it?? sadly, that does not appear to be the case.

[pnwmom]

5. And when grown men do it to teens and pre-teens, it is a form of child sexual abuse. n/t

[niyad]

7. absolutely correct

[noiretextatique]

8. it is abuse with adult women too

i've had guys get really angry when i did not respond they way they wanted. one guy got so angry, i had to pull a knife on him to back him up.

[pnwmom]

10. Of course. But it's not pedophilia. n/t

[Spider Jerusalem]

35. Technically it's not "paedophilia" if it's a teen, either.

Paedophilia, specifically, is sexual attraction to prepubescent children. Most teenagers are not prepubescent. They may be legally underage, but they're not sexually immature. (Which doesn't make men in their 20's and 30's sharking on 14-year-olds any less skeevy and disgusting, but it's NOT "paedophilia&quot .

[pnwmom]

37. It happened to me at age 11. Other girls at age 10. I didn't limit this just to teens, did I?

Because the men don't.

[riqster]

44. Technically, schmecknically. Survivors care little for such linguistic follies.

Frankly, they too often serve as diversions from the core issue at hand: much as do some of the red herrings tossed out by catcalling apologists.

[Odin2005]

32. That should not be even controversial.

Sadly, in parts of the internet dominated by 20-something men, like Reddit, you have large numbers of idiots ranting about how it is OK for a grown man to fuck a 13yo girl.

[noiretextatique]

6. some men think it their "right" to be obnoxious assholes

and to harass women.

[niyad]

9. one wonders how they acquired such a bizarre mindset.

[noiretextatique]

24. culture of rape? culture of assholishness?

my conclusion is that this has more to do with nurture than nature. i think men are socialized to believe this is type of behavior is ok. men who behave like this in groups also get reinforcement from each other.

[Odin2005]

33. Some people think being "un-PC" makes them bad-ass and non-conformist.

It makes my head spin.

[noiretextatique]

40. yep, i've noticed that

it's really entitled and juvenile. there is nothing "pc" about being respectful to people.

[Shankapotomus]

11. K & R

[Rozlee]

12. Some older men from previous generations need to be told it's not a compliment to tell us we're

lovely or beautiful either. It might have been courtly and gracious to flatter women at one time, but nothing makes me more uncomfortable than being introduced to an older gentlemen who will tell me in front of his wife that I'm a very lovely lady. His wife, of course, being raised in the same era, will usually merely smile. I'm 20 years younger than my husband and wouldn't think anything of it when he'd tell someone that they had lovely daughters, but I frowned when he told one of his nurses that he was glad she was pretty. Correction: I got up in his face when the nurse left the room. I was a nurse myself and I considered patients who told me I was pretty to be sexually harassing me. Seriously, I do give older gentlemen a lot of leeway and my husband's comment might have made me a wee bit jealous, but it is disconcerting for men to give me compliments in front of their wives.

[chrisa]

13. The sad part is, why do people need to be told this?

I've known this since I was like 5.

[IkeRepublican]

14. Another bullshit bandwagon, IMO

Just because the other side manufactures bullshit "Where's the outrage?" campaigns doesn't mean we have to.

Seriously, as Chrisa wrote above this post - it's quite simple, should already know since the age of 5 not to do that crap.

That hit the nail in the head.

[riqster]

28. Horse shit. It is a real problem and needs addressed.

[noiretextatique]

41. but men still do this

and though it may not be a problem for you...or me any longer, it IS a problem for the 20-something nieces.

[Central Scruitinizer]

15. What has this world come to?

When a lonely guy cannot attempt to meet a new friend?

Human contact is essential to life, a woman who is so isolated so as to "turn up a bitch" - her words; speaks of the dysfunction we primates have descended to, finding a mate is obsolete anymore.

I did not realize women don't enjoy anonymity in the city. I live in a resort town with a male/female ratio too depressing to say and these women are under more of a pressure cooker.

I guess it is a predatory model to go for the babe you never met. Meeting through mutual friends is another way to meet new folks, but that pool is shallow.

[LanternWaste]

16. Or when a half-witted dullard is unable to tell the difference between meeting someone and harassing

"What has this world come to when a lonely guy cannot attempt to meet a new friend?"
Or when a half-witted dullard is unable (or, more likely, simply unwilling) to tell the difference between merely meeting someone and harassing someone.

[SheilaT]

18. If you can't figure out a way to meet a new friend

other than following her down the street, then you need a lot more help than we can give you here.

[arcane1]

22. Yeah, that's it. Just lonely guys trying to meet new friends.

[Arugula Latte]

23. It's a form of control. Men harassing/catcalling women are asserting their dominance.

Every women on this forum could probably tell you stories of harassment, being chased, being groped by strangers -- I know I could. It starts when we are very young. It can be downright terrifying. Men who do this stuff are assholes, plain and simple.

You are telling yourself that is just friendly guys wanting to meet women. Frankly your justification is just fucking pathetic.

[noiretextatique]

25. making rude and lewd comments is not okay, even if you are lonely

and it sure as hell is not going to make you any female friends

[arcane1]

27. I'm going to try making more straight male friends by telling them to smile.

Shouldn't be a problem!

[noiretextatique]

39. you know, some jerk told me to "smile" the other day

i just glared at him. turn the tables? hmm...not a bad idea

[Warpy]

26. Yeah, approaching a woman you do not know on the street and wagging your tongue at her

and saying "nice rack" is such an effective way to meet women.

No wonder you're lonely.

[riqster]

29. Someone needs to "scrutinize" himself.

Starting with the spelling of the handle, then sexist attitudes.

[Odin2005]

34. Still bitter about being "friendzoned" I take it?

[pnwmom]

38. This has nothing to do with that. When a woman looks as completely disinterested

as this woman does, then no guy should attempt " to meet a new friend" by accosting her in the street.

If a lonely guy is so poor at reading body language, then that could be why he's a lonely guy. There are much better ways of meeting a woman than trying to get the attention of a woman on the street whose face is screaming out -- "leave me alone"!

[niyad]

42. dear goddess, PLEASE tell me you forgot the sarcasm icon (or don't know where to find it

on this board), otherwise, I will have to assume you wandered onto the wrong board.

[Pacifist Patriot]

46. I have to think it's sarcasm

or blatant baiting. One or the other. Too inflammatory to be otherwise I would think.

[riqster]

17. Just because one HAS a dick, he needn't BE a dick.

Sadly, too many males lack the ability to make that teeny tiny mental leap.

Both of my daughters, my wife, my sister...all of them have had to put up with this shit. It makes my fist itch.

Guys, really: wake the fucking fuck up. Knock it off.

[hifiguy]

21. Well, and humorously, put.

[redruddyred]

19. oh yeah that one guy who started following her

was not being rude at all.

esp when she ignored him and kept walking. she didn't say no amirite??

[riqster]

30. Fuckyeah bro, that was consent all right.

[hifiguy]

20. It's rude, gross, disgusting and completely uncalled-for.

And atrocious manners. How is that so hard to understand. A discreet glance at an attractive person is one thing. Acting like a baboon is rather another.

[Odin2005]

31. As a guy I find it shocking that there are people who think catcalling is OK.

Did their mothers not raise these little assholes right?

[riqster]

36. If they had mothers at all.

I'm inclined to go with the "born of the slime beneath rocks" theory of origin, myself.

[niyad]

43. why are you putting all the blame on the MOTHERS?? or are you assuming that there is no male

figure involved in their rearing? in which case, how do you explain where they pick up these disgusting, sexist mindsets?

[Odin2005]

47. It's a figure of speech.

"Their momma didn't raise them right."

Good Grief...

[niyad]

49. and, again, that "figure of speech" blames the MOTHERS. surely that is not so difficult to see.

but, nice try at ignoring, or excusing, the blatant sexism.

[Pacifist Patriot]

45. While I agree with finding it shocking there are people who defend the practice...

I can't help but be both dismayed and amused that you targeted the mothers for being responsible. I don't for a minute think you did it deliberately, but it's a great example of how sexist attitudes are so prevalent in our society that your statement rolled right off your keyboard without much thought.

Presumably many of these assholes had fathers influencing their behavior as well.

[closeupready]

48. And yet, on Survivor last night, the heterosexual man

in a committed relationship stated he was going to exact retribution against 1) those men who have, to date, survived and 2) who were at camp with his female partner yet met with her displeasure that - while he was away at Exile Island - they did NOT chat her up.

Can you explain this for me?

[gollygee]

50. Survivor?

"Reality" TV is not actually real. It's contrived, and yes often even scripted, to create ratings.

[Warpy]

51. Their mothers raised them right

Unfortunately, male surface bonding and male culture took over when they hit puberty.

After all, what the hell did Mom know? She's ONLY A WOMAN.

Sheesh.