Last edited Thu Dec 4, 2014, 03:28 PM - Edit history (2)
If it were up to me, here's what would happen (edited and fine-tuned a little):
I'd give Rachel Maddow Friday night off. BECAUSE... she'd be moving to a Sunday-Thursday schedule because SHE would be designated as the host of "Meet the Press." Her Friday night hour, PLUS the hour that would otherwise belong to Lawrence O'Donnell (who's already on a Monday-Thursday schedule and doesn't do Friday night shows anyway) would be redirected towards a two-hour block following Chris Hayes's show on Friday nights. Host, John Fugelsang. Who would be allowed to do anything he wanted. Comedy, live music, lots of political satire, and guests of his choice. Sort of MSNBC's answer to Jon Stewart and Bill Maher. And that two-hour block of programming could be rerun at various times around the weekend. GET RID OF that damn "Lockup" crap. OUT! OFF! AWAY!
I'd also get rid of Andrea Greenspan and the man my husband lovingly refers to as Fuck Turd. She's not to be trusted. I know what kind of pillow talk she's exposed to every night. She's getting toward the age where maybe she'd like to run off with her financier husband and take a very cushy early retirement, and I'm also sure that dear Fuck Turd would find open arms waiting for him at Pox Noise. Look at how well howard kurtz landed on his feet over there! I would also make sure that Luke Russert spends a little more time toiling in the back of the vineyard before he's allowed to host anything. He hasn't paid enough dues yet, and there are TONS of capable reporters, anchors, analysts, and correspondents who could fill in, in the big chairs. He hasn't quite graduated up from the kiddie table, if you ask me. And frankly, I never counted myself among the news faithful who worshipped the ground his father walked on. Tim Russert ended up a wholly-owned subsidiary of the wrong-wing at the end of the Clinton era, and certainly all through bush/cheney from what I observed. I know they still burn incense to him at MSNBC but I found I couldn't trust him anymore.
I might bring back the Young Turks, too. Who the fuck cares if the republi-CONS in Washington didn't like Cenk and didn't want to be on his show? FUCK 'EM. WHO FREAKIN' CARES if they didn't like how GOPers were treated on his show? That's just TOO DAMN BAD. They're all just fine with Dems and liberals being skewered nonstop on TV and radio. Taste of their own medicine. See how they like it. Besides, it's just more of an opportunity to give the Elizabeth Warrens and Bernie Sanderses of the world more face-time, and build THEM into the media monsters that "Meet the Press" and other shows have done for john mccain. I would probably bring a whole new set of bookers into "Meet the Press" as well. They will be directed to lose john mccain's contact information immediately. NO MORE john mccain. He's been on MORE THAN ENOUGH already. He's had more face time than anybody, for no reason other than lazy bookers. Same thing with his little dog lindsey graham. AND bill kristol. NEVER AGAIN. NO NEOCONS FROM YESTERYEAR - EVER AGAIN!!! They, too, had their say, and everybody else's, for FAR TOO LONG, and, worse still, they were ALWAYS wrong. To try to book any of them would be an immediate dismissible offense. As in - you WILL, absolutely, be fired, regardless of seniority and alleged connections (obviously YOU have all the wrong ones anyway). We'd look to OTHER voices and OTHER faces, and MSNBC would become, truly and completely, the "dreaded liberal network" the enemy loves to paint it as being. It is NOT that because it does NOT present 24/7/365 political programming. The weekends are usually lost. Empty. Worthless. Irrelevant.
I would also, as head of this, insist that ANY opposing view would need my personal approval BEFORE they're invited to go on, or face immediate dismissal. From Michael Steele on down. I AM NOT KIDDING. It's time to get VERY tough and ruthlessly one-sided, because we're part of a much bigger fight here. That would allow MSNBC to sift through the CON talkers and limit their access, plus the opposition figures could be STRATEGICALLY chosen to further OUR message - on the basis of how wussy and incoherent they are on the air. These assholes have been groomed and trained and schooled in how to be rude, how to interrupt, how to talk over the Democrat or liberal, how to keep pushing your point over them and in spite of them, and THAT HAS TO BE STOPPED, TOO. Those loud motormouths would NO LONGER get on the air at MSNBC if it were up to me. Besides, if they want airtime so badly, there's always Pox Noise. It's not like they don't have someplace to go to be heard or to get exposure or more face time.
In addition, I would reinforce with the remaining hosts that THEY are on notice. WE DEMS ALSO should have an "Eleventh Commandment": Thou Shalt NOT Allow ANY CON or GOP'er (or other such oppositional blatherer) To Get The Last Word. This would be enforced on a three strikes basis. First offense, the host gets a reprimand. Second offense, the host is suspended for a week. Third offense, the host is dismissed. Hopefully this would also subtly school the opposition - if you want to try to infiltrate, or press your point of view, you better damn well not be rude because you will NOT be allowed on. AND if you try it, your mic will be CUT. I would make that a direct order to ALL hosts AND their producers, AND the folks in the control room as well - the ones with the cut-off switch within easy reach of their fingertips. ZERO tolerance.
I would also take Patrick Murphy off the air temporarily. He needs a speech and diction coach. He suffers from mush-mouth syndrome. He's photogenic, charming, endearing, likable, and intelligent. But he can't get a clear sentence out to save his life! Get him some elocution coaching and then put him back on.
AND - I would bring back Keith Olbermann. THERE. I said it. Damn straight I would. Would have to do it judiciously, of course. I'd have to figure something out because he brings baggage with him. YES, I realize he's prickly in the newsroom and controversial outside the newsroom. FUCK IT. We need him back on there. ANYWAY! Everybody just DEAL with it! The whole progressive movement needs his voice out there, loud and long! Articulating our points with fire and brimstone, and calcium deposits to the flimsy backbones of Dems who are presumably in positions to do something about it. Besides, he gets ratings, dammit! And the publicity would bring all kinds of eyes back to MSNBC, who, I think, were alienated by his departure because they had no loud voice shouting out and getting in-yer-face with the enemy on their behalf. He said what most of us think, and try to say - but without the large prominent podium he's had and would have again, if I had my way. I would LOVE to just plunk him back on the air on his own hour. Maybe, at least at first, give him a weekend show that gets replayed - as the Fugelsang show would be. Ease him back in, and then, let's watch what happens! Hell, I might even put HIM in as host of "Meet the Press" if Rachel Maddow doesn't want it. Keep her on a Monday-Friday schedule and just start the Fugelsang block an hour later.
And I'd put Steve Kornacki on a more high-profile shift. His talents are wasted at 5am on Saturday mornings (at least here on the West Coast). He deserves MUCH better. Maybe Ronan Farrow should take that early slot. He doesn't impress me (or he hasn't yet impressed me), but he's got something to say, and an appealing personality, so I wouldn't get rid of him. I'd want him to toil in the back of the vineyard a little more, too, before getting a weekday show again. I'd move him and maybe put Kornacki in there, instead. That way, Kornacki gets Monday-Friday exposure. As he ages and edges away from the "young whipper-snapper" image he currently has, he could be a major power. He already knows how to report and investigate. He's already earned his stripes. He's a good anchor, too. VERY appealing. Ronan, you'd thus be given a TWO HOUR show. And we could rerun THAT elsewhere during the weekend to keep your face out there, with continued appearances as a talking head on weekday shows. Ronan could be groomed. He could be interesting, but he hasn't really shown it yet. Kornacki HAS.
I'd try to coax Randi Rhodes back onto the airwaves (TV this time) and STEPHANIE MILLER!!!!!! back over as well. I have long been annoyed by joe scarborough. First of all, NO republi-CON should have, or host, a show on MSNBC. Do any liberals have shows on Pox Noise? I rest my case. I put up with Abby Huntsman mainly because she's one of FOUR and she's not as hard-core as some on that side of the aisle - but she, like Luke Russert, is basically there because she's a member of the Lucky Sperm Club, and she still hasn't exactly paid a lot of dues yet. I might be tempted to have Stephanie Miller take over the early morning slot, Monday-Friday. She was hilarious when she did it for a week or two several years ago. It really worked, with the Mooks and everybody else like we'd hear and chuckle over every morning on the radio. It worked! Let's see if it's worth letting Mika Brzezinski join up with her, see how that works out. Mika might be worth keeping, but she has to wear clothing with sleeves a little more often, dammit. This isn't a skin show or Bravo or E, its a news channel, okay? Not soft-core porn, nor is it that proverbial seat at the bar, as elizabeth lauten would say. This is MORNING NEWS TELEVISION that's NOT on Pox Noise, okay? They have the bimbo specialty (especially since their prime demo is composed of bitter, horny old white men). WE don't need 'em so much at MSNBC, especially considering our demos go WAY farther and deeper than just a bunch of bitter, horny old white men. ENOUGH with the tight dresses, sky-high hemlines, fuck-me shoes, and bare arms. ENOUGH. You're in a news room, girlfriend, not a cocktail party. And there ARE ways to look sexy on TV, if you absolutely must, without rubbing it in our faces. Might also want to steal Ashley Banfield from CNN. Always did like her, too.
But it's the weekends that need the most desperate fixing. Weekends are when I tune AWAY from MSNBC. They offer me nothing. And I'm sure multitudes of other MSNBC viewers would think so, too. If I were in charge, I'd BIG-TIME change that.
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