Bush Says He Will Harm Nation Differently from His Brother

[MohRokTah]

Bush Says He Will Harm Nation Differently from His Brother

By Andy Borowitz

CHICAGO (The Borowitz Report) — In an effort to distance himself from the legacy of his brother, George W. Bush, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush will use a major foreign-policy speech on Wednesday to assert that, if elected President, he would harm the nation in completely different ways.

“A lot of people are looking at me and thinking that I’m just going to be a rerun of my brother,” Bush told reporters before the speech. “They are greatly underestimating my ability to create chaos and destruction in ways that are uniquely mine.”

As an example, Bush said, he was unlikely to invade Iraq for a third time, calling such an action “too derivative.”

“George already did it, and Dad did it before him,” he said. “Call it my independent streak, if you will, but I want to spawn some disasters of my own.”

...

New Yorker Link

[Kalidurga]

1. The eGovernor has already gotten that covered.

If elected he could do that on a national scale plus give away state secrets.

[Retrograde]

17. Give away secrets? Surely you jest!

A true PNACer like Jeb wouldn't give away anything - he'd make sure he gets top dollar for them.

[deutsey]

2. Let's hope this isn't as prophetic as The Onion satire from 2001

http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros,464/

"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

[mountain grammy]

3. I remember that headline well.. prophetic!

[MohRokTah]

18. Agreed. eom

[mountain grammy]

4. K & R for true Borowitz.

[NewJeffCT]

5. I predict if he does get elected

he will invade Iraq again - and, blame it on the need to fight ISIS and have boots on the ground there to do it

[Arugula Latte]

19. Well, you know, he needs to think of his constituents ...

The CEOs of large corporations who profit from this stuff.

[NewJeffCT]

22. of course

and, they'll just blame it all on Obama.

[iandhr]

6. I was under the impression Brorowitz did satire.

Not real news.

[JayhawkSD]

7. Increasingly the election looks like

Clinton vs. Bush. Next thing we know this nation will be granting titles.

[blkmusclmachine]

32. Dynasties, bay-bee...

[boatsfra]

8. If this tool gets into the WH

just count me out. I have my passport and retirement. There is a big planet out there. All Republicans are dangerous to our existence. In other news, Foxy BIMBO channel blonde chief correspondent, Megyn Smelly, says "Everyone knows Santa is white!"

[JohnnyRingo]

9. Love Borowitz

Thanx for posting

[Tommy_Carcetti]

10. Borowitz is gold. nt

[jwirr]

11. He won't have to. The President is asking Congress to approve a 3 year limit on the 3rd Iraq war

now. Three years includes the first year of a new term. As to harm: we are being told that jeb was the first on the be in the planning of PNAC and is more conservative. More failed economy so they can make some more money off of the disasters that result from it.

[Helen Borg]

12. He'll start WWIII!

[blkmusclmachine]

31. Rapture, bay-bee!! Armageddon, 4 horse men, nuke the planet. They even put it in the poster for

"Waiting for 'Superman'" Hell they even put a Cross up in the clouds (upper left hand corner)...

[Duval]

13. I can barely watch him. His

face and mannerisms are reminiscent of "W". UGH! I have no doubt he'd spawn a few disasters, however!! Borowitz is great!

[Iliyah]

14. He backs BiBi's speech for congress

and I would not be surprised if he attends along with the other goper presidential candidates.

"Holy War" is already being spouted by the insane so called Christians.

Rummy already is saying that Isil is the wind before the 10 hurricane, therefore

World War 3 are their next project, i.e. profits from death, mayhem, carnage, suffering, and hell on earth.

Welcome to the GOP government.

[cyberswede]

15. Hilarious headline!

[tclambert]

16. Yeah, he wouldn't invade Iraq again. Maybe Iran. See, that's really different. It has an "N"

instead of a "Q." Plus, it has twice the population and four times the land area. So it would be a much bigger accomplishment when he declares "Mission Accomplished," eight years before a democrat brings the war to an end.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

20. The Republicans will claim to their Base the choice is Jeb or Soviet Tanks rolling down Main Street.

[calimary]

21. Another page in the book - "That'd Be Funny If It Weren't True."

This is, of course, Andy Borowitz, who I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE. But it's also too scary to be funny. Too close to the truth. I think jebbie wants to get in there because - "hey, it'll work THIS time! I'M gonna get it right THIS time!"

There's also the family dynamic - the competitive siblings thing. They're a VERY competitive family. EXTREMELY. They've played and "won" at the highest levels of politics and also of finance. And I can cite several examples of ambitious, highly competitive individuals who, deep down, felt compelled to outdo the accomplishments of their fathers. At least that's what their behavior strongly suggests.

romney. mccain. bush2. the koch brothers. even ted cruz. Just for starters. It's an ego thing. Male ego thing specifically. THIS specimen here, jebbie, is a particularly interesting case.

There was an article written awhile back regarding dubya and jebbie and the whole bush clan. Regarding how dubya's rise at the governor level completely fucked the family calculus. Long ago it was jebbie who was the designated (if unspoken) heir-apparent. And there came that magic moment when two of the brothers bush were positioned to take the next step up the ladder toward the White House - by clinching a governorship. jebbie in Florida and idiot dry-drunk in Texas. Idiot was expected to lose - hell, he had already proven himself a loser multiple times - he was the idiot who literally couldn't find oil in Texas, and took three oil companies in a row straight down into bankruptcy. jebbie was the safer bet. But lo and behold, defying the family's expectations, the opposite happened: jeb lost and idiot won! Well, that shifted things rather seismically within the family as it aimed for the White House again. After all, SOMEBODY had to avenge the old man's loss and the birthright, the entitlement (a second term) he was denied by that uppity Clinton fellow. NOW, it seemed, dubya was designated as the heir-apparent and poor little bro jebbie, who'd always been considered "the smart one," lost his chance. dubya set about proving HE was the alpha male of the family, and the new HEAD. HE was now First Bush. He'd even bested "the smart one." He climbed the mountain all the way to the top. He was king of all he surveyed and firmly positioned on the throne at the top of the ziggurat.

Let me just say, here, I've had the opportunity to observe several situations involving families with multiple children. Many of the same sex. I found with a former sister-in-law the same dynamic I found with my adoptive mom - they each had MANY sisters, they were each one of five girls. And MAN were they competitive. Each of them jealous as hell, conniving, almost literally HELLBENT to be the Alpha. And the more widely-acknowledged the Alpha status, the better. Each of them striving to show off their supremacy over their sisters. EACH of them wanting to be able to claim that THEY got the smartest husband, the richest husband, or the handsomest husband, they had the biggest house, they had the nicest car, they had the fanciest garden, they had the horses in the stable in their extra-large back yard ("that the rest of you poor pathetic peons didn't quite rate, fellow sisters of mine" - SEE WHO'S NUMBER ONE NOW???? "I married a DOCTOR nyah-nyah-nyah... who'd YOU marry?" that kind of thing). I remember one family gathering where former sister-in-law embarked upon this litany of "oh, that's pretty - I have one TOO!" or "Oh, I have TWO of those!" All evening long. Tiresome as hell.

Well, boys do that, too. I'd bet that there's an almost bloodthirsty rivalry among the bush boys. And with dubya having FUCKED UP everything he touched while in the White House that he gained through shady means, you better believe the ousted "smart one" who'd been severely knocked quite a ways down the pecking-order hill, now wants revenge. Now, I'd bet, his mindset is on showing his brother. Showing UP his brother. Okay Mr. Fuck-up, let me show you how it's done. This is MY chance to show you up and put you in your dumb-ass place, dumb-ass. THIS is MY time to shine, and MY time to show the whole family who's boss. Who's the Alpha. Who's the anointed one who REALLY made good. You just wait, georgie poo. You'll be eating my shorts. Just you watch. I'm not only gonna outdo dad, I'm gonna outdo YOU!

I sincerely believe that this is what motivates our dear jebbie. Not a psychologist, nor do I play one on TV. But I do know what I've observed about human nature over almost 62 years, and the seemingly irresistible urge by siblings to compete, to feel a rivalry, to feel resentment, to be jealous, and to covet success and the Number One spot with Mom or Dad. The "oh YEAH? Well, I'M BETTER than you! Mom loves ME best. Dad likes ME better than you." Remember the Smothers Brothers routine - pure sibling rivalry and resentment: "Mom always liked you best." That's what I think is in play here. AND WE HAVE TO STOP IT. The wellbeing of the entire frickin' PLANET may depend on it. Hey, dubya destroyed two countries (three if you count the US) - and an entire region of the globe, in destabilizing the entire Middle East. I wonder what jebbie dreams of doing... (and it frickin' TERRIFIES me)!

[Hepburn]

23. Keyboard spew...

...OMG...is our candidates learning?

[kacekwl]

24. It will take time to restore chaos.

[Turbineguy]

25. As long as he harms it,

he's got a good chance of winning the election. And if he can't win it, he can always steal it.

[liberal N proud]

26. A bush moved his lips and it wasn't a complete lie?

He puts it out there that he intends harm, just different from other bush's

[Gothmog]

27. I love good satire

[Blue Owl]

28. Ah yes, you're George's brother...

Nothing pisses off a sibling more than being compared to their other sibling(s)...

[fadedrose]

29. Didn't read your op yet, but the title made me laugh

good job

[Hekate]

30. Wonderful headline. It's important for younger sons to strike out on their own.

[TrollBuster9090]

34. Isn't that some sort of "baseball' term?

I think W destroyed that, too.

[TrollBuster9090]

33. Of course he will. When "W" destroys something...he COMPLETELY destroys it.

W destroyed the economy, the budget and the Army. Jeb will have to find something DIFFERENT to destroy. That's the problem with being a younger brother. I speak from experience. (The arts? The healthcare system? I'VE GOT IT! "W" didn't succeed in COMPLETELY destroying Social Security....)

[IDemo]

35. "Our enemies never stop thinking about ways to harm America",

"And neither has the Bush clan."

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

36. It'll be fresh and trendy harm - designer harm

[Cha]

37. Jebster certainly will.. he'll think of new and "devious ways" to skin America out of every surplus

cent that President Obama has reduced the deficit by.. that little boots racked up from the surplus left by Pres Clinton. See how that works.