A Letter to Iran
Dear Iran,
We, the American people, are writing to apologize for the recent actions of 47 of our citizens. While there is no excuse for what they did, we believe we owe you an explanation.
In every country, there are members of the labor force whose lack of useful skills makes them virtually unemployable. Different countries deal with these people in different ways. In the United States, we routinely elect them to Congress.
Once elected, these people can usually be counted upon to do no harm, mainly because they generally do nothing at all. Unfortunately, sometimes they decide to "work," as 47 of them did this week. The only reassurance we can offer you is that, having worked for the first time in years, they are highly unlikely to exert themselves again any time soon.
Again, please accept our apologies, and know that most Americans find these 47 people even more annoying than you do.
Sincerely,
The American People
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