Assange sets new Guinness Record
Earlier this week, Julian Assange set a record for the most days an Australian Senator has stayed in a Knightsbridge embassy without visiting the Harrod's food court
During his long stay at the embassy, Assange has reportedly had many visitors, such as legendary singer Elvis Presley
The new record, a thousand days, beats the prior record of 999 days, set by a squatter at a Hans Crescent flat only the day before
Reactions to the new record varied
The National Health Service issued a statement encouraging Londoners to contact a GP "if you think you may be affected by agoraphobia" and pointing out that telephone consultation was possible for those who don't feel ready to visit a GP in person
A Mars One team representative said anyone comfortable with living entirely within a single room for several years could be a good candidate for their 2024 one-way trip to the red planet. The representative expressed hope that Mr Assange might apply for that voyage and could remain in the embassy until then
One of Assange's lawyers recalled the unusual history of the case: Karl Rove, disguised as an attractive Swedish woman, had tricked Assange into having sex with her while she was asleep and then arranged for his passage to London, where the courts ordered him to enter the Ecuadorian embassy, allowing the CIA time to establish a special kidnapping squad in Stockholm to force his plane down and carry him off to the Kenyan capitol, Honolulu, so he could be transported to Guantanamo for a sex change operation
Ambassador Juan Eduardo Falconi Puig was unavailable for immediate comment