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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsA NEW day or mending fences or DUers never let me down
I'm sorry my post yesterday caused so much emotion/controversy that wasn't needed: http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6461544
It has been almost a year since I first talked about being terminal. Every time I mention I'm terminal I hear from DUers that have somehow missed all the other references to it. It happened last Thursday night on an LBN post with an active DUer. See reply #1: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10141057534
I got several emails about it yesterday. Somebody will undoubtedly learn about it from this post.
Problems started long before I was diagnosed. Things I'm dealing with are impaired thinking from pain (neck, shoulders, wrists) killers, irregular sleep from my condition, communication, and my condition itself. Combine it all and the off switch most people have for self control for emotions, reasoning, etc. can be pretty much gone at any given time. I can go from the OS people remember to a jerk in an instant and not even know it. I will continue to get worse. I said before OS doesn't really exist anymore.
I was looking at a very old post of mine a few weeks ago and I couldn't understand at that time what I meant when I wrote it. Algernon syndrome.
Yesterday I was not upset with the DU on lack of response to my Saturday night LBN post. I was pissed about the alert on it as part of a continuing pattern of alerts on a growing number of my posts.
From yesterday: "It means that much to me." was a message to the hosts in LBN as they contemplated locking it. Perhaps now you can understand why. My judgment was off. We all know how that worked out. I'm not knocking them for doing what they are supposed to do. It is a thankless job. They do a good job period. They can help keep me from looking bad when I'm really off base at times like yesterday morning.
My post also opened a door to clear some things up in private with a lot of DUers and very close friends alike.
I love this place. 48,800 plus OPs shows that. I don't know when it will be, but the day is coming I won't give a damn about the DU, politics, or pretty much anything else. My plan is self termination before getting there. It is what I want. It is what the old OS talked about long before being diagnosed.
This wasn't easy to write. Several hours of my life I won't get back. As of right now I'm having a good moment/day.
Warmest regards,
OS (AKA Algernon)
F4lconF16
(3,747 posts)Many of us understood, as much as we can, anyways. Thanks for sticking around and posting despite all you are going through.
KittyWampus
(55,894 posts)bravenak
(34,648 posts)Polly Hennessey
(6,804 posts)You are so valued here. I always look for your posts.
KMOD
(7,906 posts)boston bean
(36,223 posts)internet message board. It is not your family, who will always love and support you because you are a part of their world.
An internet message board can't even come close in comparison.
Live the rest of your life the best way you can with those you love and those who love you back, and let the DU stuff roll off your back. As you know better than anyone else, life is short and to spend it moaning about a internet message board won't mean much in the scheme of things. In other words, there are much more important things and people you can be spending time with and worrying with and living life with.
Best to you, BB.
LiberalLoner
(9,762 posts)And I'm sorry for what you are going through now. I will always think the world of you.
aikoaiko
(34,183 posts)I've learned a lot about union history from your posts.
jwirr
(39,215 posts)not worth it. Live life to the full while you can. JW
closeupready
(29,503 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)calimary
(81,466 posts)We love you! We understand. It's just such a shame that you even have to go through this. But I guess each of us will get there in our own time, too, 'eh? I'm gonna be 62 this year. Not a day goes by that I wonder how much longer I've got. And I actually hope it's not too much longer. I do NOT want to live to age 83 like my dad, 90 like my mom - both of 'em wound up at the ripe old age of "Piece of Meat" by the time their end came. What money they had was exhausting itself on a losing fight to seriously advanced age and infirmity - the kind that sets in after a lifetime of neglect and self-abuse and in my mom's case chain-smoking for DECADES. NO amount of money could have saved either of them - not that they had all that much in the first place. I can thank her for MY not smoking. The cigarette smoke and stench that filled the house and the drapes and the carpets and her clothing and my hair - I can remember grabbing the same dish sponge to wash the dishes one night - that she'd just used to wipe out an ashtray. The smell of it almost made me throw up. I was glad, even proud, to be a non-smoker.
I find strength in reading your posts, Omaha Steve. I find strength, wisdom, education, revelation, comfort, solace, and courage. Which I know I'm gonna need, too. Hell, I need courage RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!!! How you proceed, every day, living with this reality - I am in awe of your strength, your great grace, your total class, your continuing brilliance and discernment. I hope we're lucky enough to have you in our lives and on our screens for a long time yet to come.
You are LOVED. At home AND here. Don't forget that.
No Vested Interest
(5,167 posts)herding cats
(19,567 posts)You're a premiere union poster and I really enjoy your uplifting pet posts! You're a part of what makes this site special.
I am sorry about your medical problems, but admire how you face them head-on.
I think what I'm trying to say is, fuggetaboutit. We appreciate you no matter what.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)anonymous message board friends as well as a few that like to pick on people they see as vulnerable. Do not let these few ruin it for you and those that like to read your posts.
MrMickeysMom
(20,453 posts)very well!
PatrickforO
(14,587 posts)1. though one person above me in this thread says you've got to remember this is an internet message board and not your family, what I say is this: DU is a community of choice. We are all here because we want to be, and who is to say the people we've grown fond of on this site are not sort of an extended family.
2. as to the increasing number of alerts on your posts, it's good to remember that we are part of a culture that still values free speech. So for all of you posting, remember that you should only use the alert function if the person is engaging in an 'ad hominem' attack - example: instead of saying "I disagree with your position and here's why..." someone who deserves to be flagged will say something like, "You are a (fill in the blank)..." That is what an ad hominem attack looks like. We should not be using the alert function is someone, for instance, drops the 'f-bomb' during a post or uses some other curse words that may offend some.
The exception to this, of course is slurs. No one should ever be using any kind of racial, gender preference, sex or ethnic slur, ever.
Yeah, I know I haven't been here long, but I had about as many posts as OS on Huffington Post, but I left that because of their increasingly OBTRUSIVE censorship. We need to stay away from that, I think, because it sucks the fun right out of posting on threads like this!
OS, I'm sorry you are terminal. I really am. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
riqster
(13,986 posts)Terminal diagnoses suck.
ancianita
(36,133 posts)eggplant
(3,913 posts)It would be easy for someone in your situation to simply lurk, censoring themselves and hiding what is happening to them from others.
I find joy in seeing people choose their own path rather than cow-tow to others.
All my best.
-- eggplant
steve2470
(37,457 posts)On a busy internet message board like DU, you get the BEST of humanity and, sadly, also close to the WORST. The best of us value you for your personality, your long service to unions and the Democratic Party, your long-time membership at DU, and your union and pet posts. The worst of us snap off a snarky cruel reply, not caring who you are or the fact you're terminal and actually enjoying whatever discomfort they cause.
When the time comes that this place brings you more discomfort than joy, just write us all a good-bye post and then go enjoy the rest of your life with Marta. That's what I would do if I were terminal. This place is not worth enduring excessive discomfort over. At its best, it's a nice place to converse and discuss with nice people, a possible springboard for real life action and an educational resource. At its worst, it's the internet equivalent of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. I exaggerated a bit there, 4chan is undoubtedly the worst.
God bless you and Marta, Steve. Peace be with you.
REP
(21,691 posts)Raine1967
(11,589 posts)appalachiablue
(41,171 posts)You have a lot of courage, knowledge & it's appreciated. Don't worry about us. Take good care, have a great day! And best to you and Marta.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)We're with you.
turbinetree
(24,720 posts)I think your a pretty cool dude.
WillyT
(72,631 posts)sheshe2
(83,898 posts)I am glad that you posted this, heartbreaking as it is, you said it with grace and humor. You are a good man and Marta is a gem. Thank her again letting me post her op-ed here in full. She said it brilliantly. For those that did not see it.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026463897
Best to both of you, live your life to the fullest with the time you have left.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)By the way, it was a beautiful day in New York.
On the way home from a wellness check up with my doctor, I drove by my old home. We moved two years ago ... anyway ... the first flowers of spring were just beginning to bloom.
Now I know what's missing from our new home so I can add snowdrop bulbs this fall.
MissDeeds
(7,499 posts)You are a DU icon. You are dealing with a lot, and if you vent from time to time, you are entitled. People here who can't understand that need to get a grip. I am glad to come to DU each day and see your posts. You add so much to the conversation here and are always polite and respectful. Keep fighting the good fight. We have your back.
AtomicKitten
(46,585 posts)lovemydog
(11,833 posts)Take care.
LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)at least as long as you want to - I do read your posts, even though I get irritated at the titles typed in ALL CAPS. (However, I'd never alert on it.) You don't know me but I will say anyway - You are an inspiration and I mean it.
P.S.: As for the alleged "controversy" - File it under Shit Happens and forget it.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Just because.
etherealtruth
(22,165 posts)Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)I mean that deeply.
panader0
(25,816 posts)You exist to me and many more DUer's as a treasure here, an unabashed advocate for labor and animal rescue.
Algernon? I'm glad you're having a good moment. You made me have one too.
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)Keep remembering that.
I suffer with chronic illness and some days are tough. The mind gets mushy some days. It helps to have people who are kind and supportive surrounding you like all of us who have posted here and many more
Be easy on your self. Love those near you strongly. And know that you are supported by many.
Buzz Clik
(38,437 posts)It's always a good day when some tells DU, "Hey! Bite my ass!"
Omaha Steve
(99,708 posts)Buzz Clik
(38,437 posts)Thespian2
(2,741 posts)Luminous Animal
(27,310 posts)Sunriser13
(612 posts)This lurker is glad to see you staying! Hugs!
You might be interested to know I search out your older posts sometimes when I'm in the mood for some deeper and more thoughtful content than much here. Don't get the big head though, yours aren't the only ones!!
Keep up the good fight, OS...
marym625
(17,997 posts)As for bad reaction anything that you might say or do that's not the old OS; Fuck 'em if that can't take it.
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)my first grandchild. Since my daughter is getting married next year and it might be several years after that I hope I hold on.
I feel your pain.
What is your exact diagnosis? Maybe some one can share experience and help
A co-worker is watching his wife slowly die from cancer that has spread. Often he comes to me for just comfort to get away from watching her die. He doesn't want anything. Just needs to vent. I suspect you do too. Just please don't spend the last of your years making others feel guilty to make you feel better.
Omaha Steve
(99,708 posts)And now that she is starting to post here, I think I better do as she says.
OS
marym625
(17,997 posts)I am sorry that you will be terminal in not too many years.
I wanted to say, and I can obviously only speak for myself, I can handle whatever OS says to us for myself. If he needs attention to a post, then that's what I will give him.
I hope that you can understand that everyone experiences everything differently and that different diseases affect different aspects of the body and mind differently. So the end result may be the same horrible thing, the road there can be completely different.
I hope you are able to find some comfort. And we will all be here for you if you need us too.
sueh
(1,826 posts)Guy Whitey Corngood
(26,505 posts)LeftishBrit
(41,210 posts)merrily
(45,251 posts)Always have, always will.
I wish I could do something about your health, but I can't, beyond sending love.
barbtries
(28,811 posts)you are a treasure here.
DonCoquixote
(13,616 posts)something that most of us will never understand. I have had members of my family that were outright Amazons and Titans put down by the sort of illness that put Dr. Kevoerkian in buisness. However, if nothing else, know this, you are valued, and not just because we like you, but also because you remind people of the Unions, something that was part of American life, should be part of it, and when the GOP finally chokes on it's own fat, will be a part of it.
Badass Liberal
(57 posts)It's easy to get lost at an "internet world" like DU, Facebook, etc. They're nowhere near as important as real human interaction. Especially if you're going through erratic changes of mood.
Omaha Steve
(99,708 posts)An altered state of mind which is normal with my problems.