Benevolent God Smites Missouri Golf Course With Giant Sinkhole

[onehandle]

[img][/img]

This week, God, who is good, demonstrated his disapproval of golf, which is bad, by opening up a series of big-ass sinkholes under Top of the Rock golf course near Branson, Missouri, including one spanning 80 feet across. In his infinite grace, no one was harmed.

According to “sinkhole expert” Doug Gouzie, the portals to Hell are likely the result of recent rainfall (an unknowable elemental force ultimately controlled by Our Father in heaven). From the Springfield News-Leader:

“Any time you see a big collapse with vertical walls, that quite possibly is the result of a cave below that collapsed.”

Recent heavy rains in the area likely played “a huge role” in the sinkhole’s formation, Gouzie said. Rain will flow downward, following cracks in the rock below, eventually working its way to the cave roof.

http://gawker.com/benevolent-god-smites-missouri-golf-course-with-giant-s-1706655530

[IDemo]

1. At last, a hole I might be able to one-putt n/t

[shenmue]

2. Hee hee

[Warren DeMontague]

10. Seriously, that was my thought.

That makes the game WAY easier!

[libdem4life]

3. I'd also like to know why this god has it in for the freaking Buckle of the Bible Belt.

Going to need some mass-produced Arks soon. Dude, we're not Egypt...what's with the drought, and the floods...what's next...Locusts?

[jmowreader]

8. Well, they're in luck!

The mass-produced ark capital of America - Lebanon, Mo. - is less than 100 miles from this golf course!

[MADem]

4. The heathen golfers just treated it as a natural hazard and played on through! nt

[ChairmanAgnostic]

5. Finally, a trap that actually traps sand.

[steve2470]

6. Florida feels your pain, God smites us too nt

[bluesbassman]

7. Looks like we now know where Carl Spackler ended up after leaving Bushwood.

[Spirochete]

9. Probably take ...what -

a 6 iron to hit out of that trap?

[alphafemale]

11. "And it had been the best game of his life." nt