The Duggars' Homeschool Cult: Cabbage Patch Dolls are Possessed by Satan

[LiberalElite]

http://gawker.com/the-duggars-homeschool-cult-cabbage-patch-dolls-are-po-1710094250?google_editors_picks=true

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The Advanced Training Institute—the fundamentalist, sex-offender-led cult subscribed to by the Duggars—has a lot of questionable practices. But in addition to cancer-causing semen and horrible fashion advice, ATI has one extra-absurd bit of wisdom it would like to impart on your children: Your Cabbage Patch doll is filled with Satan’s demons.

If you’ll recall, when you first open your Cabbage Patch doll, you’re greeted by an adoption certificate asking you to promise to care for your new, cuddly friend. But by signing into a written agreement to love a doll, children are apparently be violating the first commandment and, consequently, would be directly disobeying God. ATI teaches you that any sort of disobedience gives Satan what they call a “foothold.” Once Satan gets that first tiny grip of your child’s soul, he or she would be on that slippery slope into the lascivious, sinful world of sex, rock ‘n’ roll, and—worst of all—college.

As a South Florida newspaper wrote back in 1999:

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[Blue_Tires]

1. The Duggars might actually be on to something

broken clocks and all that...

[Scootaloo]

2. Well, it would explain why they eat the fingers of little children!

[Kalidurga]

3. Whoa the dolls might be ugly

but that's out of line.

[Throd]

4. Wow, I actually agree with them on something.

[StevieM]

5. I'm appalled to learn that Cabbage Patch Dolls come with adoption certificates.

It's just another example of how our society celebrates adoption and shows total indifference to the pain and suffering of birth parents.

[xfundy]

6. In that world, there's nothing SATAN can't get ahold of.

Satan runs the music industry, school dances, banks, tee vee stations, networks, the family down the street, and pretty much anything you can think of.

I lived through that shit and honestly wondered if I might be the antichrist at one point, because he "would be about your age" and I was secretly gay. Shh, don't tell anyone.

I also checked many times to make sure there were still others in the world, which would have meant I didn't miss the rapture.

It's funny now but was dead serious back then.

[Archae]

7. One thing fundys are really good at...

Lying to, and scaring the shit out of kids.

"If you don't give your paper route money to our church, it's BLASPHEMY and you'll go straight to hell!"

(Yes, I had a preacher admonish me just like that)

[xfundy]

8. Oh, yeah.

I found some money in the return slot of a public phone once. Had to give it to the church or burn.

Later, I used the money my parents put in the tithe envelopes to skip church and go to a nearby McDonald's. So I was probably demonic even then. At least someone got to eat.