General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsIncrease Your Credibility by Avoiding Use of the Phrase "To Be Honest"
It might not seem that bad, but its the kind of habitual phrase that can slowly wash away any trustworthiness you might be trying to demonstrate. Neil Patel at Entrepreneur explains:
When someone feels the need to assert their honesty, it subtly reduces their personal credibility. What does this statement say about you? Are you typically dishonest? Is it necessary to tell others that you are being honest? To be honest is a phrase that can introduce misgivings about your personal credibility.
http://lifehacker.com/increase-your-credibility-by-avoiding-use-of-the-phrase-1712371931
olddots
(10,237 posts)MannyGoldstein
(34,589 posts)when someone says that I usually squint and say "So all this time you've been lying?"
Which is why I am loved in real life as much as on DU.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)as much as I'd love you in real life
kidding!
MannyGoldstein
(34,589 posts)I hope that's an insult.
If not, thank you!
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)besides, the same could be said about me!
Art_from_Ark
(27,247 posts)that is a brutally frank reply
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)To be honest, I use it, and I pretty much ignore it - or don't consciously notice it- when others use it. i dont feel it makes them sound any less honest... or more honest, for that matter.
So much of communication is about cadence and rythym, and that itself has an inherent functionality in how speech or text plays in the recipient's mind.
I mean.... Look at examples of people who do that sort of thing badly- and how their expression often comes off like an incomprehensible word salad train wreck.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)You had to be there.
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)Once again I need a spreadsheet - or cliff's notes- to play the game of DU.
petronius
(26,602 posts)A lot of times, "to be blunt" basically just means "I'm going to be an asshole here, but I said I'm going to be blunt so it's OK." When saying something about the other person that they may not want to hear, the "to be honest" formula is somewhat gentler on their feelings.
But when it precedes a statement of fact, it very often signifies that the fact is bullshit. For example: "To be honest, honey, I was working late tonight at the office. Haven't been near the bar in weeks, to be honest..."
(And of course, sometimes it's just a space-filler, a sesquipedalian 'um.' And another thought, it's also a way of acknowledging that the speaker is admitting something they'd prefer not to: "I've spent too much time on this, to be honest..."
daredtowork
(3,732 posts)Or worse, "I'm not a racist, but..."
It makes my brain hurt to think that's what people may hear, though. I often use "frankly" or "seriously" as a matter of conversational rhythm and a cue to elevate the importance of what I'm going to say next. I don't think I wanted to know I was undermining the credibility of my words instead. Add female gender, and that trivializes everything I have to say.
It's hard enough to stay organized while speaking in the first place. If I have to micro-analyze at this level, I won't be able to speak out loud at all.
Zorra
(27,670 posts)boorish, and terribly annoying.