Iran, major powers reach historic nuclear deal, Iranian diplomat says

[RandySF]

Iran and six major powers have reached a historic nuclear deal, which will grant Tehran sanctions relief in exchange for curbs on its nuclear program, an Iranian diplomat said on Tuesday.

“All the hard work has paid off and we sealed a deal. God bless our people,” the diplomat told Reuters on condition of anonymity. Another Iranian official confirmed the agreement.


http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/iran-nuclear-deal-likely-to-be-reached-early-tuesday-shows-us-iran-compromise-on-key-issue/article25496950/

[Scootaloo]

1. Explosion reported in jerusalem as prime minister loses bowel control, and thirty pounds

REUTERS - Just moments ago, Israeli Emergency Services responded to the sound of a loud blast coming from near the Knesset building in Jerusalem. Upon arrival, one responded says, "it was horrible, just... everywhere. we had to evacuate the whole block to make sure the citizens were safe, in case of secondary or even tertiary blasts." At the epicenter of the blast, Israeli Prime minister Binyamin Netanyahu was found, pantsless but surprisingly trim, holding a copy of the newspaper.

medical experts reportedly blame the prime minister's previously-diagnosed cranial-rectal inversion, paired with a diet consisting purely of ice cream. Netanyahu's political party, likud meanwhile, blamed Hamas, Barack Obama, Iran, Leftists, the Norwegian luge team, and the rising price of falafel on Petakh Tikva street.

Despite begin the first known "dirty bomb" explosion in Jerusalem, with a population of 809,000, the only reported casualty is the prime minister Sara, who is said to be mourning the fact that her husband's eyes have lost their previous murky septic brown color, and are now a hazel shade.

As of 10;00 AM local, work crews were on site to clean the mess. Most Jerusalemites when queried, stated that they hadn't noticed any difference in the smell downwind from the Knesset building.

....

I guess what I'm saying is Good. Also, fuck Netanyahu and his constant Boris and Natasha attempts to undermine this deal.