Best Florida Man story yet!

[Archae]

IMO...

Florida Man Arrested for Having Sex with an Alligator

EVERGLADES CITY, Florida –

People have had sex with pit bulls, donkeys and even parrots, but this incident is on another level.

Rupert Darwin, 59, kept a 12 foot alligator tied and blindfold for the last month, sexually assaulting the reptile multiple times a day.

http://thugvirals.com/florida-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-an-alligator/

[MineralMan]

1. Beer glasses, I guess.

Weirdness never ends.

[hobbit709]

2. I do NOT want to know why!

[procon]

3. I don't want to know how that's even possible. nt

[Spider Jerusalem]

4. I've got money that says his browser history...

probably included visits to Zeta Toys and Bad Dragon.

[KamaAina]

5. Speculation on FB is that it may be a fake.

Dear FSM, let's hope so!

On the other hand, he could just be really into leather.

[Laffy Kat]

10. Ya think?

Supposedly, the man's name is Darwin!

[tblue37]

40. I hope it's a fake story, because I hate to think of animals being abused

by humans.

However, the first comment on the article is quite punderful:

He suffers from areptile dysfunction..but Viagra didn't help..He had to take Gatorade instead..

[HooptieWagon]

6. Everglades City....

...makes the guys in Deliverance look like urbane hipsters.

[KamaAina]

11. I just finished a Carl Hiaasen that was partly set there

and it sounds like it!

But not even Hiaasen could have conceived of sex with gators!

[Hekate]

18. Carl Hiaassen does his research in the daily newspapers, I am convinced

I love his books. But every so often when I have read a real jaw dropper that simultaneously has me laughing like a loon and going "Naaaaw, that can't be possible," I will read something online that confirms the tale's basis in reality.


Expect to have this one show up in one of his future novels.

[KamaAina]

22. He still works for the Miami Herald

so that would not surprise me in the least.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

45. There was a great 60 Minutes story about Everglades City

Most of the dudes were wearing more confederate flags than they had teeth or fingers.

[doxyluv13]

7. I'm guessing were not talking oral sex.

nt.

[HooptieWagon]

15. Winner!

[tblue37]

41. See my #40 post above for a funny comment someone posted on the article. nt

[pinboy3niner]

17. With a guy named Darwin, who knows?

[Warren DeMontague]

8. So often with these stories, one says "only in Florida". In this case, however

yeah, that's probably pretty true.

[Raine1967]

21. well played sir, well played. nt

[dhill926]

9. Rupert DARWIN???

Hoo-boy...

[lpbk2713]

12. Ever heard of a website called snopes.com ?

Evidently this story was created to entertain the "let's make fun of Florida" crowd.


Link: http://m.snopes.com/man-arrested-for-alligator-sex/

[LiberalAndProud]

13. You beat me to it.

Gotta love Snopes.

Thug Viral is yet another fake news site that does not contain a disclaimer specifically identifying the site as a purveyor of fake news. There are other ways to document that the above-quoted story is non-factual, however:

[Hekate]

20. Oh nuts, I should have read the whole thread before my first response!

[Archae]

25. I'm not surprised the story is fake.

But the guy pictured is a total pervert anyway, he sexually abused a peacock (!) to death, and made sexual advances at little girls.

[RKP5637]

26. K&R! n/t

[Aerows]

29. Thank heavens

it was not real. My damn brain was picturing it, and it was not a Kodak moment.

[pinboy3niner]

37. For me it just evoked...

bad shoes.

The guy was lucky it didn't turn into Jimmy Chews.

[Facility Inspector]

14. Love Me Like a Reptile

[Glassunion]

16. Really?

http://www.mediaite.com/online/george-zimmermans-alleged-shooter-arrested-for-pissing-on-neighbors-door/

[Kurovski]

19. Rough sex.

It's a thing.

[scarletwoman]

30. What the... Wait a minute... OMG, it's KUROVSKI!!!!!!

Hey, man! If I had known it would take an alligator sex thread to make you show up, I would have started one of my own ages ago!

How ARE you? Watcha been up to? Do you still love me?

[Kurovski]

36. Love is not a part-time thing.

So of course I do. What a silly question, you foolish, adorable child. Myrna and I gossip about you IRL.

What happened to the "no sex threads" policy? I guess DU has gone downhill, which is extremely attractive to my way of thinking. I may have to attend services more often.

[Electric Monk]

23. Yeah, about that...

[pinboy3niner]

24. Coming soon to SyFy: ALLIGATORSEXNADO!

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

27. after awhile... crocodiles

[Aerows]

28. Dear Lord.

What am I reading.

My imagination can't unsee this, and I am wishing it would stop.

[pinboy3niner]

31. Guy just misunderstood "getting some tail"

[Aerows]

33. LMAO

+1 that went swimmingly well

[lindysalsagal]

32. Great. Now I can't stop imagining what alligator female parts look like.

[pinboy3niner]

35. You need to have a thicker skin...which, come to think of it...

probably applies to what you are talking about.

[Historic NY]

34. His name is Darwin....

I think he'd have a hard time explaining homo sapiaens and reptiles.

[GusBob]

38. There's a true story about a guy in Wisconsin who has sex with dead deer

But only people from Wisconsin are idiots

[Archae]

42. Hey!

I'M in Wisconsin, born and raised here.

[GusBob]

46. QED

Where do you think I live Einstein?

Can you explain to me how and why a bullshit story is the "best ever"?

[Archae]

47. I don't know where you are, and frankly it doesn't matter to me.

And I know now, and have acknowledged, that this is a fake story.

The guy is a sexual pervert for real, but he wasn't having sex with an alligator.

[pinboy3niner]

43. As Nike says, just doe it!

[zappaman]

39. Yes.

Yes it is.

[libodem]

44. This is some funny shit