Photos from Jade Helm 15: Day 2

[Solly Mack]

Lowest Prices No More: Abandoned Wal-Marts were the first clue of the impending invasion.





Secret Tunnels: It is believed that tunnels running beneath the now empty stores are being used to funnel moles into the country. The moles will spread out across the nation, undermining the very foundation of America.





No Myth: Isis has been spotted in Arizona. Senator McCain has vowed to bomb, bomb, bomb - bomb Arizona.






Remember the Alamo!: The militia has been called out to protect against Ninja attacks.





Cowabunga!: Ninjas invaded parts of Utah and New Mexico today, prompting locals to order massive amounts of pizza.





Collaborationists: Some in Utah and New Mexico joined with the Ninjas as their minions.





Secret Signal: Here you can see UN troops (in Florida) preparing to give the Obama "Fist Bump" of victory.





The most common injury reported: Broken nails while furiously blogging about the evils of President Obama.



Due to the brain-numbing boredom of covering such a massive non-event, this will be my last report on Jade Helm.

I'm told a citizen group has volunteered to cover the void.




Day 1

[Solly Mack]

2. But I didn't see the comment!

[dixiegrrrrl]

3. Such gallant coverage!

But not sure coverage should be discontinued.
Their purpose may have been to lull you into a false sense of security, ya know.

[Solly Mack]

4. I'll let the professionals at Fox do it.

[MyOwnPeace]

5. Solly!

What a service you have done for our comrades!
May the force be with you!

Na-nu, Na-nu!!!

[Solly Mack]

7. Shazbot!

I loved Mork!

[yardwork]

6. I think I had that Isis comic!

[Solly Mack]

8. Remember the TV show?

[yardwork]

43. No, but I remember that comic cover!

[johnp3907]

36. Me too!

[LiberalElite]

9. You obviously never heard of cloaking devices -

[Solly Mack]

12. Oh, no! You're giving away secrets!

[LiberalElite]

14. oopsie

[Martin Eden]

10. The last pic is ludicrous

Comics & superheroes are more plausible in the real world than people that effin stupid.

[Solly Mack]

13. And yet...they exist.

[gregcrawford]

20. Not only do they exist...

... they are allowed - nay, ENCOURAGED - to breed indiscriminately... and vote. I despair for the future of humanity.

[SoapBox]

11. ...

[Solly Mack]

15. If you think that's funny...

T-Rump Toupee Brigade: Trump sends in the offspring of his hair to save Texas from Jade Helm. The military uses L.I.C.E. to stop the insurgency.

[Unknown Beatle]

16. A picture of Bastrop, TX

Seen here, the beginning of Jade Helm.


Locals were astonished to see Napalm being used in their own backyard.



Actual Picture: Wildfires in Bastrop - September 2011

[Solly Mack]

18. Without the disclaimer, your photo would end up as proof of an invasion.

And it still might.

[calimary]

19. Sheesh - they're DAFT.

[catrose]

35. I saw that!

Scary view from your living room!

[Reter]

40. Is that real?

n/t

[Unknown Beatle]

42. Yes it is.

Wildfires in Bastrop, TX on Sept. 2011.

[nadinbrzezinski]

17. I hear the next target is the sleepy town of Santee

perhaps we can get some super dooper secret coverage. Hey, at least at last we are not left out of the fun...

[Solly Mack]

24. There's fun and then there's

just plain stupid.

Town meeting for Jade Helm.

And then there's mocking the stupid.

[nadinbrzezinski]

30. I will be brutally honest... I am surprised that has not played out

in my neck of the woods. But then again... our number of hate groups is greatly diminished.

[Capn Sunshine]

21. Sure, go ahead and laugh

the lizard people under Denver International are just biding their time.

Niburu

[Solly Mack]

28. I like lizards. Besides, I have these...

I can spot them when no one else can!

[libodem]

22. Funny stuff

[Solly Mack]

34. This stuff writes itself.

[Ryano42]

23. Jade Helm's Supreme Commander: Colonel Sam Flagg

[Solly Mack]

29. lololol!

[niyad]

47. oh, my, col. flagg. who can ever forget that arrogant, ignorant, smarmy little dolt?

[MisterP]

25. heh, look how apologetically small the "or tread" part is

[Solly Mack]

31. Obvious afterthought. They tried so hard to be clever.

[MisterP]

41. "kindly don't tread on us"

actually, that might've worked on the Redcoats (except Tarleton): they ARE British, mind you

[63splitwindow]

26. The HORROR...

the HORROR... Not to even mention stuff like...
[link:|

[Solly Mack]

32. Wow. That must have been one of those Super Wal-Marts.

heh.

[EEO]

27. Well, Operation Loon Star was ineffective...

Operation Loon Star Will Not Be Finished By Start of Jade Helm 15

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): The Department of Defense (DoD) announced today Operation Loon Star was far from being completed in Texas and would definitely not be finished prior to the start of Operation Jade Helm 15 on Wednesday. Operation Loon Star was originally reported on by TNA on May 13th, and is a military operation that began on May 15th with the objective of addressing a mental health epidemic in Texas.

And...

Carter added, "One-quarter of our 2015 budget is in this operation, but frankly our mental health workers on the ground in Texas have made no impact. And this mental health epidemic is not just in Texas. A 'surveillance operation' called 'Counter Jade Helm' encourages 'patriots' to 'practice counter-insurgency, organizational and intelligence gathering and reporting skills.'"

Total mental health epidemic on our hands.

[Solly Mack]

33. That explains a lot.

[CatWoman]

37. Solly Mack just broke the internet!!!

my side is hurting from laughing so much!!!

[Solly Mack]

38. Hey! Thanks, CatWoman.

Breaking the internet sure would prevent a lot of stupid from spreading - but where is the fun in that?

[CatWoman]

39. this thread is totally hilarious

great job!!

[niyad]

44. thank you!!! somebody had to do this!

[Solly Mack]

45. You're welcome. :)

I was trying to feel their pain...but I just couldn't reach them.

[niyad]

46. . . .