Biden Offers Government Post To Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark

[Katashi_itto]

WASHINGTON—Calling the late-night horror film host well-suited for the job “and then some,” Vice President Joe Biden offered Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, an entry-level position within the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, White House sources confirmed Thursday.

Biden, who first saw the buxom temptress in a tight, revealing black dress on a Los Angeles television station in 1982, said he immediately “got rock hard” and realized Elvira had the necessary assets to go “real far,” and made it his personal mission to find the Mistress of the Dark a plum position in D.C.

“Elvira’s hot to trot, so as soon as I was clued in to something opening up over at OPM, I got my main man [Inspector General Patrick E.] McFarland on the horn and called in a favor,” said Biden, explaining that McFarland owed him big-time after the six-term Delaware senator took one for the team and gave the agency’s acting director, Beth Cobert, a “wild ride” at a recent gala event. “They want her to take some bullshit technical aptitude test first, but I’ll snag all the answers beforehand, so she’s gonna ace it.”

“Besides, it ain’t rocket science,” Biden continued. “All she’s gotta do is show up to a few meetings in that little low-cut black number of hers and she’s golden.”
http://www.theonion.com/article/biden-offers-government-post-elvira-mistress-dark-51090

[NaturalHigh]

1. I love The Onion's articles about Biden.

If he reads them, I'm sure he gets a kick out of them too.

[tabasco]

2. LOL!!!

How I love Elvira, M.O.T.D.