Hey DU. What's your best post?

[Prism]

In the spirit of AskReddit. I was reading through past posts, and there was one where I thought, "Yeah, I was so on point there. I was amazing."

For you, what's that?

[pinboy3niner]

1. I've gotten a rep here as a punster

Though I'm sometimes hailed for using puns that were created by someone else before I was born.

I've had a few good originals, like others here have, but I don't keep a record of them.

But one of my favorites was just a humorous reply to MFM, trying to crack him up as he did so often for us. In this short thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018415405


R.I.P., my friend.

[Prism]

2. I didn't know he had passed!

I thought he just drifted away. I'm sorry. I know he was a lounge fixture =(

[pinboy3niner]

5. I'm sorry to be the bringer of bad news

Here is his DU memorial page, with the announcement posted by Kali:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018551379

[Prism]

6. Shit

His threads were always a lot of fun.

[Skittles]

10. you want I should kick punster pinboy3niner ass?

LEMME AT YOU!

[pinboy3niner]

22. Hell, no!

I hear you put a little 'English' on it.

[Skittles]

23. I am half Brit

I will wage war against your arse; yes INDEED

[pinboy3niner]

24. And Bob's your uncle

I knew it! We've all seen the pics of you as a little mean girl in England. Why do you hate America? Just like Nancy Sinatra!

If you stay on the vid after Nancy, you get The Animals. Nice surprise!

[Journeyman]

3. In 2006, when the Right was so adamant that US deaths in Iraq were no greater than those in US cities. . .

a favored tactic of people like Limbaugh was to try to minimize the bloodshed of US soldiers in Iraq by saying the numbers were no greater than you'd find in any American city, even less than some. But I saw there was a fundamental difference: They were looking at civilian deaths in US cities, while the soldiers being murdered in Iraq were actually policemen.

Posted by Journeyman in General Discussion: Presidential (Through Nov 2009) • Fri Apr 28th 2006, 12:50 PM

Iraq is approximately the same geographic size as California, has roughly the same population (25 million), and about the same number of foreign troops as California has law enforcement (~150,000). For the past three years, the foreign occupation troops have functioned as the law within Iraq.

Here's the true comparison: Would anyone in this country be complacent if -- on average -- 2.3 policemen were being killed in California every day? If 2600 police officers had been killed in California in the past three years, would anyone feel this was anything less than total anarchy? Would any pundit scoff and compare California to, say, Darfur, and conclude that the situation's acceptable because it could be much worse?

And this doesn't begin to include the civilian toll. Who believes that car bombs and IEDs, dozens of citizens dead in the streets on a regular basis, thousands kidnapped and hundreds assassinated, beheadings, churches bombed and clergy hacked to death with machetes, undrinkable water, people freezing to death in the dark . . . who believes such a total disintegration of civilized society in the most populous State of the Union would warrant a shrug or a smirk or a dismissive wave of the hand? Who would send snarky emails about such Left Coast chaos? And how long would a politician -- any politician in any state or at any level -- how long would they last in office if they made smug and condescending comments about how well the true situation is in California? How obscene would observations about school paint jobs be in such a crisis?

[Prism]

4. There's a certain satisfaction

When you have a solid point, with statistics to give it grounding. It's the ultimate, "Yeah? Well, eff you, you ignorant turd. Here's what's actually happening."

The California comparison is golden. I didn't see your post at the time, but I will remember it when arguing in the future. That is a brilliant point of attack. Thank you.

[Journeyman]

7. I had a companion post, when it came out we were spending $720 million a day in Iraq. . .

it brought me to a realization that the best way to argue the insanity of such numbers was to turn it on his head and phrase it in a way even the most dense conservative would understand.

Posted by Journeyman in General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) • Sat Jun 16th 2007, 10:09 AM

In casual discussions, I use these numbers as a monetary standard, in which one hour equals $30 million, a day is $720 million, a week is $5 billion, and a month $20 billion. Then I insert the terms as possible.

"Yes, I think the town should build a new library -- after all, it'll only cost $3 Iraq Hours."

"A new highway through that part of the county would be great and would only cost $1-1/2 Iraq Weeks to build."

"It's true, health care for all children in this state would be expensive, but we're only talking about $4 Iraq Months each year."

It brings the cost of the IraqAttaq in to sharper focus, and helps people conceptualize in easily understood terms the tremendous, needless drain this occupation exerts on all our lives. It's also a somewhat innocuous way to bring the Catastroph@#k into normal conversation (especially these days, when so many former supporters are loathe to even consider this disaster's true impact on the world).

[Journeyman]

8. Lest you think I posted only the mundane, I tried to explain the world's great mysteries as well...

Someone questioned once, if George W. Bush is such a "cowboy," why doesn't he ride a horse. The answer was simple, yet quite tragic:

Posted by Journeyman in Latest Breaking News •  Fri Sep 21st 2007, 12:15 AM

Ever since "the incident," Mr Bush has shied away from the ponies. . .

It happened his first year as Governor. Concerned about the impression his non-riding would have with Texas voters, his Staff decided it'd be best if they staged a photo-op on a horse. They picked out the steed they thought best for the novice rider, and two of his aides helped him into the saddle. No sooner was he seated, though, when the horse bolted, took off with no warning whatsoever. Mr Bush clung bravely to the reins, and tried to wrap his legs tight around the haunches, but the speed of the horse, coupled with the wild motion of its galloping, threw Mr Bush from the saddle.

To the horror of all the witnesses, Mr Bush's foot became ensnared in the stirrup, and though he crashed hard to the ground, he was trapped and drug helplessly behind the charging steed. Some of the younger aides rushed after him to help, but it was hopeless -- the galloping beast rushed ahead, and Mr Bush bounced wildly behind, his arms flailing helplessly, his head and shoulders repeatedly smashed on the hard ground beneath the thundering hooves.

It seemed, for a moment, that all was lost and Mr Bush would be pounded to death before his horrified Staff. Shouts of anguish and despair arose from them all and the end seemed inevitable, but all the hubbub alerted the WalMart manager, who stepped outside and pulled the plug.

And so, you can understand, ever since "the incident" Mr Bush has shied away from the ponies. . .

[MADem]

26. That's hilarious....

Vincente Fox gave a telling interview a while back, where he described Bush as visibly 'trembling' in the presence of some large steeds that Presidente Fox owned.

[pinboy3niner]

9. I've been applauded for puns or wordplay that I thought wasn't especially good

And there have been some that I've been alone in getting a kick out of. Like in the thread where someone referred to "Occum's razor."

Someone replied...

I've seen Occam, but never Occum

My reply to the reply was...

Well, there's that song--'Occum All Ye Faithful'

That still cracks me up, but I may have a weird sense of humor.

[MADem]

27. I think you are a damn GENIUS. The hits just keep on coming! nt

[pinboy3niner]

28. Thanks, MADem

But I'm not so brilliant. I just get lucky once in a while. Taking to heart our admins' commitent to humor on DU. Have you seen my groaners? Yikes!

[MADem]

29. Even your GROANERS are brilliant! There's something not-so-easy about coming up with a good

GROANER, too!!! I am a fan!!!!!

[pinboy3niner]

31. Okay, okay, I'll accept your accolades

As long as you understand that I learned this shit on DU.

It was only a couple of years ago that DU punsters inspired me to try my hand. I was terrible at first (of course), but with a little practice, any of us can get into that mindset.

Once you do that, the tough part is shifting gears when you go back to GD serious threads. It can be a real challenge to shift out of the pun/wordplay/humor mode.

[MADem]

32. I remember seeing a lot of those "punny" threads...and being awe-struck!

Each one better than the next! If you learned that here, you're a fast learner!!!

When I was a small child, I had teachers from UK and Ireland (I wasn't educated in USA for a good chunk of my formative years) who emphasized language arts. A good bit of our language education included poems, and clever bits of business, and of course we all loved limericks, puns, and all sorts of word play. We feasted on riddles, too, and brain teasers. Oh, and word puzzles--all sorts, not just crosswords. Ahhh, the pre-internet lifestyle!!

Anyway, when I see your pun talent, I am transported to the days of my carefree youth! I just love that stuff!

[pinboy3niner]

33. You're a sharp one who could easily top me in puns if you applied yourself

Maybe not always top me but you'd be up there with many others who have beaten me at the game. Yet as many tines as I've been beaten, they still give me the mantle, even despite my humble protests. Will no one rid me of this curse?

[MADem]

34. Naaah, I couldn't even begin to approach your talent!

I bow to the master!!

[pinboy3niner]

36. Thanks a lot!

That's just the kind of acclaim I'm tryihg to escape.

How would YOU like to be crowned as the Punster of DU? You have no idea of the pressure!

[msanthrope]

39. For you.....

[pinboy3niner]

50. Masterful!

The lesser of two weevils, lol!

[msanthrope]

51. Commanding, too. Loved that movie. nt

[pinboy3niner]

11. I'm kind of partial to this one

But I can't claim credit for the birdies.

[hunter]

12. I post them to my journal.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/~hunter

Only the "now" exists in this universe, and it's an entirely local phenomena we deal with as best we can with our limited intelligence. The universe is very big, our minds are very small.

Both the past and the future are clouds of probability.

[pinboy3niner]

14. Heavy and deep, your best post!

Okay, just joshing here.

I have seen some very good posts from you.

[hunter]

48. Aww...

And I've seen some very good posts from you.

And some very bad puns.

[herding cats]

13. I've never considered it.

I don't even know what all I've said here. I just touch on the topic in question and share my feelings. Which I'm pretty sure means I don't have one.

[pinboy3niner]

15. I didn't save the best, so hang on while I scroll through the 44,000

You don't mind waiting, do you? BRB!

[GReedDiamond]

16. The one I just made earlier...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1014&pid=1178897

[pinboy3niner]

17. LOL!

To tell the truth, GReed, you've had a lot of other contenders, including your art posts.

[GReedDiamond]

18. Thanks, I'm flattered, to say the least...nt

[Blue_In_AK]

19. My best posts are in the Photo Group.

I'm better at taking pictures than stringing together thought-provoking words.

[pinboy3niner]

20. Can't fool us. We've seen your good posts in GD, Blue.

[Blue_In_AK]

21. You're too kind.

[fizzgig]

54. same here

[pinboy3niner]

25. I couldn't pick out my best post to save my life

Like many of us here, I don't save them or even journal them. Relying on memory, there are a few that I can search and link. But those tend to be the funny ones, not the serious ones.

I know that before we lost her, blondeatlast and I had some serious fun combatting some posters on human and civil rights issues. My posts were not special, except for the memory of blondeatlast.

R.I.P., Sister. I'll always love you.

[MrScorpio]

30. No idea.

I'm not a very good judge of my own work.

[pinboy3niner]

35. We love you, and have our own soundtrack for you

But WTF, dude? You definitely need more cowbell

[TBF]

44. I liked your term "teabaggerati"

I've used that many times.

[Buns_of_Fire]

37. K&R. No, seriously, "K&R" is the best thing I've ever posted.

It's become so popular that I've noticed there are very few threads that don't contain it at least once.

I also take credit for eliminating the unnecessary "/" from "n/t" and shortening it to the more concise "nt". I estimate this has saved over $7.72 Million in unnecessary keystrokes over the last few years -- and I've yet to see even ONE royalty check, although I remain hopeful...

[CTyankee]

38. prolly one from my art threads because those are at least thought out...

[Bluenorthwest]

40. I have also been reading through lots of older threads and to be honest with you Prism

The posts that have most impressed me have very often been yours. In fact in more than one thread where I did like what I posted, you had a post I thought did a better job of making some of the same points.

[Orrex]

41. This one.

[lumberjack_jeff]

42. Probably one of the ones with the most negative feedback.

Let's ask the chronicler and archivist of such things; Creekdog? What say you?

I will say that DU's best posts were nearly all before juries.

[Dr. Strange]

43. This thread garnered many Duzys.

philboy started this as a sort of throwaway thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8347409

I decided to see if I could make it go places, and with the help of datasuspect and Rabrrrrrr, much awesomeness was made.

[lumberjack_jeff]

46. Rabrrrr is scary.

[TBF]

45. As far as philosophical posts I like H2O man -

http://www.democraticunderground.com/~H2O%20Man

[damnedifIknow]

47. The couple who got stuck together after sex in the ocean

Something about suction.

[LWolf]

49. I'd have to read my journal

from the beginning. That's a lot of years to read through.

From DU 3? Here's one I like. I don't really buy into that kind of ranking: "best," "favorite," etc. There are always multiple good things.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2219326

[Warpy]

52. Probably one I deleted because word jumping prigs would alert on it

Some days I only post about a quarter of what I come up with.

[unapatriciated]

53. I haven't posted any threads that were earth shaking but...

This is my favorite.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7794615

[Tommy_Carcetti]

55. I got over 400 recs for this one regarding the woman with the "Lyin' African" sign

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6554029

And that was in the day of negative recs, too.

[cascadiance]

56. For me it was the war tax plank I proposed on my Bernie Sanders platform thread...

When Bernie Sanders announced he was running for president, I quickly put up a thread suggesting that we at DU could help build his platform there as a point of discussion on how to get a list of issues that we wanted him to work on. Here's the link here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/12777539

and specifically on item #6 on this post where I point to this section as an idea I had been stewing over for a while on putting a part of the top marginal tax bracket raise be conditional on whether we were at a state of war or not, so as to help:

a) accomplish the increasing revenue and wealth balancing effects goals that just a regular top bracket increase would accomplish.
b) add a means for us to tax those that are getting the most benefits from the military industrial complex profits and the wars they steer our government in to starting and staying in.
c) provide a disincentive in the future to funding wars and funding that corporate sector to help us stop wars and move our government to invest in ourselves and our economy instead of destructive wars, and have our dysfunctional system of corruption in effect work for us with these rules instead of against us to do this until we can get something to reverse Citizen's United.

Here's where I noted that this part was my idea here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1277&pid=7668

And then I see Bernie seem to take my idea and subsequently propose it in a budget bill amendment here:

http://www.hngn.com/articles/79194/20150321/war-tax-sen-bernie-sanders-wants-to-force-lawmakers-to-pay-for-wars-they-propose.htm

I've asked Bernie's people if they have mined sites like DU for ideas, and they said that they have, though not specifically pointing to this one. But if in fact that post here might in fact influence someone like Bernie, especially if he gets elected in to championing and making this in to law, then this one post here might be helping us stop wars and tax the rich more! That would be a moment in my life time that would make me feel my life has been worthwhile if it has happened that way.

I'd love to help this planet permanently stop the ugly acts of war!!!

[Atticus]

57. "Poor people just die"

Originally appeared 7-12-09

I was five when "Pap" died. Pap was my grandmother's next door neighbor and, like most who lived in our neighborhood, he was a working man, a laborer. One of my grandfathers died the year after I was born and the other I saw maybe twice a year. Pap filled in for them on an almost daily basis. He let me "help" in his garden and let me pet his beagles whenever I wanted.

I came home from school one afternoon that fall of my first grade year and my grandmother told me to sit down at the kitchen table. Both my parents worked and we stayed with "Nanny" after school. She said she had some real sad news and that I needed to be a "big boy". "Pap died today. His heart was sick and it quit working. The ambulance came, but it was too late", she explained, speaking softly and earnestly.

I cried. Eventually, I asked what is always asked: "Why? Why did he have to die? Why couldn't the doctors make him well? Why couldn't they save him?"

Nanny explained that doctors and hospitals and medicine cost a lot of money and Pap didn't have a lot of money. Rich people bought medicine and had surgery and went to hospitals. "Poor people just die", she said, as gently as possible and held me while I sobbed into her apron.

In the fifties, I overheard several hushed conversations between my parents and other adults that featured the word "cancer". I didn't understand what it was, but I knew it was bad, very bad. Only later did I understand that even "routine" cancers were usually a death sentence for those without insurance or wealth or both. Family members maintained gruesome vigils while the tumors spread throughout their loved ones body and sometimes the stench of necrotic tissue required those attending to the dying to smear Vicks under their nose to keep from retching.

Are we to return to those days? Are we to once again allow money to be the real medicine in our nation? Will we be too busy to march on Washington? Too busy to hound our senators and congressmen to vote for AT LEAST a public option for health care insurance?

I can accept wealth allowing some to drive a Mercedes or a Porsche while others drive Chevys or ride the bus.
I cannot accept wealth allowing some to live while others "just die".

[F4lconF16]

66. That's a good one... nt

[Purveyor]

58. Every one of them that was "hidden" spare one...

[UTUSN]

59. The one that got me my first Hide in 14 years (now am at 15 yrs). n/t

[StevieM]

62. I thought DU started in January 2001. Doesn't that mean the longest you could be here for is

14 1/2 years?

[Liberal Veteran]

60. "18 Things we learned from the Schiavo case" was my masterpiece.

18 Things We Learned From the Schiavo Case

1) Jeb Bush, George W. Bush, and Tom Delay are all world renowned neurologists.

2) 22 successive court battles that all ended in exactly the same way means there is something wrong with the courts, not the Schindler's case.

3) Mike is after money which is why he turned down 1 million dollars and 10 million dollars to sign over guardianship.

4) Congress and the State Legislature of Florida has nothing better to do than pry into the private medical affairs of others.

5) Pulling life support is bad in Florida when authorized by the legal next-of-kin, but pulling life support is good in Texas when you run out of money and the mother pleads not to pull the plug on her baby.

6) Medical diagnoses are best performed by watching highly editted videotape made by Randall Terry rather than in person by trained physicians.

7) Minimum wage making nursing assistants are more qualified to diagnose a persistant vegetative state than experienced neurologists.

8) Cerebral spinal fluid is a magical potion that can mimic the entire functions of a missing cerebral cortex.

9) 15 years in the same persistant state is not really enough time to make an accurate diagnosis.

10) A feeding tube that infuses yellow nutritional goop is not really "life support".

11) Jesus was wrong when he said that a man and woman should leave their parents and cleave only to each other.

12) Marriage is the most sacred of all unions, except when it isn't.

13) Interfering in a family's private tragedy is a great reason to cut short a vacation, but getting a memo that warns a known terrorist is determine to strike inside the US is cause to relax and finish up some R&R.

14) Pro-lifers are really compassionate people which is why they are hoping that Michael Schiavo dies a horrible painful death.

15) The Supreme Court of the United States and the State Supreme Court of Florida mean "Maybe" when they are saying "No!".

16) Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a bleeding heart liberal.

17) 7 Supreme Court Justices were appointed by republican presidents, so it's Clinton's fault.

18) A judge who makes rulings based on the law is obviously an atheist, liberal, democratic activist even though he is a conservative, republican, Southern Baptist.

[Recursion]

61. "However, the monkeys still control the cabana" (nt)

[kelliekat44]

63. Predicting Kasich in the running...and I predict he will win the GOP nomination. (snake that he is.)

[sibelian]

64. A loooooong time ago, in an identity faaaar far away...

Back when I was baby_mouse (scrambled password in a fit of pique)


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2686418

I'm still with him. He still steals the chocolate... we still haven't gone to the gym

[F4lconF16]

65. Mine was locked away...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026480927

It was a big response going after those who condoned and advocate for torture, aka solitary confinement. I put more heart and effort into that piece than anything else I've ever written. It was only a first draft when I posted...but I'm proud of that essay.