You know what ends tomorrow?

[Archae]

Jade Helm.
Gee, how come none of those martial law fairy tales came true?
You don't suppose guys like Alex Jones are simply full of shit, do you?

Jade Helm to Quietly End

September 14, 2015 by Ed Brayton 46 Comments

Tuesday is the end of the infamous Jade Helm 15 military exercises, which came and went with barely a whimper other than the inane bleatings of a bunch of paranoid jackasses. Texas hasn’t been taken over, the Walmarts of the Southwest have not been turned into FEMA concentration camps, Blue Bell ice cream trucks are not being used to transport the bodies of all the victims of the “invasion.” Gee, you mean all those people were full of shit like rational people said they were? Let’s recount some of their bizarre, dystopic fantasies:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/dispatches/2015/09/14/jade-helm-to-quietly-end/

[underpants]

1. :-)

*outpost checking in* *Jade Helm 15* *please reply*


We've had some IT and commo problems here at Mountain Garden 12.
Wanted to see if all went as planned.

Objectives met. We lost Jackson.
Awaiting further orders.

All other operations successful?
Were the "shackle trains" effective in moving their leadership?

Did the Walmart tunnels maintain structural integrity?
Translation issues with the People's Liberation Army worked out?

Hope all is well.

As always, your Comrade in arms.

[Jamastiene]

2. Nah, nah, it couldn't be that.

It was their vigilance in exposing the ebil gov'ment's nefarious, dastardly plot. That's what stopped the ebil gov'ment from invading. They were on the ball watching to make sure those sneaky feds didn't try anything funny. See?

[Shandris]

3. Woah, I hadn't heard the Blue Bell one.

I'm disappointed in myself, I thought I was up to speed on the all the latest zaniness.

[Rex]

4. I always tell the local preppers that Obama's time is running out to collect their guns.

Those guns that the very same people predicted in his FIRST TERM he would grab up and horde all for himself! Nowadays they won't make eye contact with me, the bullshit level must have risen high enough that even they can see it.

[Journeyman]

5. They'll just claim it was the light they shone on it that kept martial law from materializing. . .

You can't defeat these fools. They're impervious to reason.

[hifiguy]

6. The goose is ready to leave the nest.

Repeat: the goose is ready to leave the nest.

Mission accomplished

Pope St. Dr. Axolotl Q. Bootmokus

[Thor_MN]

7. So Texas has now been annexed by the US?

Shit.













Apologies to all Texans...

[spanone]

8. why hasn't our media asked governor abbott about the horror of it????

[KatyMan]

9. well, the other day I went to the restroom at my local Shell station

and someone wrote on the wall "Jade Helm has begun" or something like that, so maybe you shouldn't be such a smarty pants

[jberryhill]

11. Might I suggest you get your news from another source

Now, granted, not every publication has the same high journalistic standards as the Shell station bathroom wall.

[KatyMan]

13. well maybe this particular Shell is well positioned

for Jade Helm bathroom graffiti....

[jberryhill]

15. True, sometimes local coverage is the most accurate

[Binkie The Clown]

10. They will NEVER say "I was wrong." Instead they will say...

"Oh, that was my crazy brother-in-law that believed that stuff. I never believed it for a minute."

[jberryhill]

12. They killed the Perry campaign!

[onethatcares]

14. it's not

midnight EST. It could still happen.