RepubliBags want rid of welfare? I. Have. A. Plan!
I figured out today whilst engaging a card carrying Republican/Tea Partier (or as my wife calls them, RepubliBags) that these folks who think of themselves as "conservatives" - are just fucking...STUPID!
I read the Sunlight Foundation report, on the lack of braininess in the halls of Congress, and as I was "arguing" with this Tea person today, I thought of this report, and realized it felt like I was trying to explain something very complex and important to an eighth grader. I realized I was being forced to severely "dumb" things down, so this fella could keep up - very frustrating, it was...and not my main point here - I just needed to get that off my chest. Whew! Better.
Anyhoo, as the conversation developed, this person told me they voted Republican, in part, because they felt the whole welfare/financial assistance system using both Federal and State resources was an unnecessary drain on treasuries, and an unneeded expense for taxpayers. And also because Democrats wanted to turn the country into a socialist communist godless dictatorship. I ignored the last part, and stayed focused on social respopnsibility, getting him to detail what he felt we should eliminate from the government that is used to assist the poor - and why. He wants to eliminate anything that helps the poor, period. And his justification for doing this sounded like he was parroting Rush/Beck/Hannity all at the same time. It was weak, to say the least, and his concern for his fellow citizens, was pretty much non-existant. When I pointed out the Consitution mandated we promote the general welfare (which I told him meant we ensure every person in our country has enough to eat), this failed to sway him.
So I tried another tack. My mind was racing between outrage at this person's callousness and the need to be patient and set a good example for the small crowd gathered to witness the spectacle (it was lunch break, most of us have nothing better to do, we usually just stand around watching the paint peel), and in the heat of the moment, I found a path all the way through his position, and much to everyone's surprise - especially mine - he was left unable to respond with any counterargument at all.
"Fine. Let's say for argument's sake that dropping welfare, child insurance programs, food banks, homeless shelters, school lunches, pell grants, and all the rest, will significantly reduce taxes, and the need for much of existing government infrastructure. So what should the poor do then - just starve?"
"They should get a job, and work, like real Americans do."
I knew trying to discuss poverty levels and such was a dead end, so I went for the throat.
"You know, Cleetus (not his real name, I swear!), I read an article a while back that said the CEO of this company makes about 400 times as much as the average employee."
"So?"
"So, instead of welfare, or school lunches, how about we raise minimum wage to just 1% of what our CEO makes, and those who cannot work - the eldery, disabled, and so on, go on social security adjusted to 65% of minimum wage?"
He thought about this for a few minutes. I'm not exaggerating - he pondered this for like three minutes. It was excrutiating. And surprisingly, he didn't drool once while doing so. I'm absolutely sure he didn't. Okay, I'm mostly sure...kind of...
Anyway, after what was (I'd guess) a "thorough" review of his positions as dictated by Fox News, the Boy Wonder finally spoke up. "Well, I suppose that sounds fair. So what would minimum wage be, then?"
"Let's see," I said, opening the calculator on my phone. "According to the article, our CEO made a cool $10,000,000 last year, including bonuses and stock options, so that means minimum wage would be..." I did some quickie math on the calculator, with Cleetus looking slack-jawed over my shoulder, "...let's round it off to $48 an hour, based on a 40 hour work week."
Well, 'ol Cleetus nearly had to pick his jaw up off the floor. Seeing this as a clear advantage, I pressed on.
"You realize, this means our CEO is making around forty-eight hundred bucks an hour. You know, if he actually works 40 hours a week." I gave him a second to absorb this. "So what do you think? Is this a plan you could get behind?"
"Uh...I'll have to think about it," Cleetus mumbled, shuffling away towards the exit for a final smoke before break ended. The rest of my lunch I spent discussing the income disparity present in our country with the rest of the crowd, many who had never realized how great the divide actually was (most of us make about $13 an hour).
And there you have it. If we want to end welfare, then employers must pay a substantially higher minimum wage, and we must substatially raise Social Security benefits. If it is something that would hurt small businesses, and by small I mean less than a dozen employees, then maybe we can discuss subsidization or something. I don't know, I'm not really a policy guy, and this may not even be a viable idea - but it sure shut 'ol Cleetus up.
Letting poverty persist and grow is not only not an option for us as Americans. It violates the Consitution. And let's face it; this actually means poverty - is unpatriotic.
Stick that in your teapot, RepubliBags!
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It reminds me of something Homer Simpson said once:
"Facts? Who needs facts? Everyone knows you can prove anything that's even remotely true with facts!"
