What Can You Do To Help Change Our Violent Society?

[JDPriestly]

When another mass shooting occurs, I always feel very disappointed and extremely sad.

And yet I know that every day, violence takes a big toll in our country. Violence in so many places and taking so many forms. Domestic violence, child abuse, robbery, murder, rape, bar fights, street fights, gang activity, the list goes on and on.

And most common are the domestic arguments that escalate until you wish you hadn't said what you said, being unable to listen to your child because you have just had it, not being able to express yourself without saying things you regret -- the ugly written exchanges on DU anyone -- all the many people who have been banned from DU because they lost their tempers in some childish argument -- we all do it -- we are all guilty of occasionally losing it.

The difference between us and the shooters is one of degree, one of catching ourselves.

The seeds for violence are inside us. We have to be able to turn our tendency toward violence into compassion and fruitful communication.

Well here is a book and a method of communication that can help us change, at least improve and make our lives and those of people around us better, more compassionate and understanding and less angry and impatient.

NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION -- That's the title of the book. It's also the title of the organization that gives seminars in its nonviolent method of approaching problems and communication with those with whom you disagree.

This is a method, an approach to dealing with others, to solving problems with others, that empowers us to deal with each other in a way that acknowledges and respects each others needs including the need to be heard.

The title of the book is Nonviolent Communication and it was written by Marshall B. Rosenberg. Some quotes from the web page:

When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving!
-- CNVC founder, Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing, and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.
--Rum

https://www.cnvc.org/

I am not personally involved in that organization other than participating in a seminar some years ago and reading the book, but I strongly recommend reading it and participating in a seminar if you can.

[cantbeserious]

1. Call Out Each And Every Defender Of Gun Culture In America

eom

[JDPriestly]

6. How do you define "gun culture"?

How do you distinguish between someone who hunts deer and someone who shoots people?

How do you distinguish between someone who lives in an isolated house and has a gun for self-defense and someone who shoots people because he wants to.

I use he because most of the serial murderers are men.

[cheapdate]

2. But isn't it true that the people who would participate in these kinds of things

aren't the people who are doing the shooting?

We're a violent society awash in guns.

[JDPriestly]

3. But each of us can do just a little to de-escalate the violence.

I live in an area that has been, for some years, under injunction because it is considered to be a gang-ridden area. I remember a speaker who was an expert on gang violence telling a group of us that one way that we can fight gang violence is, very simply, to smile and say hello to the young people in the age-group that tends to be involved in violence.

I do that, and I find that I can sometimes change a sullen, angry demeanor into a positive one just with a smile.

Our anger contributes to the anger in the world. Our impatience makes the world just that bit more impatient.

I understand that people sometimes have good reasons to be angry, but there is always a non-violent way to communicate that anger and to start the process of change that can alter the situation that has elicited the anger.

And Rosenberg's book teaches how to approach others when we feel angry and how to deal with people who are angry.

There are situations in which people have so sold themselves to anger that they cannot be reached. But if we can create a world within our reach in which anger is at a minimum because we have peaceful ways to resolve differences, the whole world is improve just by that little bit. And the more people who can live in relative peace, the more peaceful is the whole world.

This is especially important when we deal with our children and our families. That is where the anger takes hold and becomes a habit -- in our families and in our schools. An angry child is likely to become an angry adult. We need ot learn to communicate with our children so that we and our children develop a habit of nonviolent communication.

[cheapdate]

5. Certainly agree with that!

[world wide wally]

4. If a child has a problem of hitting others with a toy, the toy is taken away.

If several children have the same problem, more of the toys are taken away.
If it reaches epidemic proportions, all toys may be taken away until they prove they can behave. To do less would be irresponsible.
Perhaps,they can earn their toys back after demonstrating that they can act responsibly over a period of time.
Obviously, this is a metaphor of what may happen at a day care center or elementary school, but would you send your child to a place where violence is rampant and the adults claim that there is nothing they cando about it?
Grow up,America