Native Americans call for ban on Christians entering the US

[KamaAina]

A British Onion clone.

http://newsthump.com/2015/12/09/native-americans-call-for-ban-on-christians-entering-the-us/

Native Americans have controversially called for a complete ban on Christians of any denomination entering the US until representatives can ‘figure out what the hell is going on.’

“Seriously, you guys have screwed this place up,” said Chief Simon with Williams

“Two world wars, I don’t know how many ‘minor conflicts,’ mass-shootings, Adam Sandler, toy dogs, the Star Wars prequels. Ryan Adams covering Taylor Swift, MacDonalds; I mean, all this is bad enough but now you unleash Donald Trump on us?”...

If the ban was put in place, it would affect such world figures such as the Pope, Bono, and Bill Turnbill, and open up the US to accusations of being profoundly silly.

[Kalidurga]

1. Awwwww

I was hoping sort of that this was true. Only then it wouldn't be as funny.

[Bigmack]

2. Oh PLEASE god

LET IT BE TRUE! Ms Bigmack

[valerief]

13. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it were true?

[Kalidurga]

15. In a lot of ways yes.

But, I would be sad that this would just be one more disappointment when the proposal isn't taken seriously.

[phantom power]

3. It's the only way to be sure.

[doc03]

4. Since 99.99% of terroist attacks in the USA have been

committed by men Clinton proposes putting all men in internment camps. For Sanders supporters, it is a joke.

[mwrguy]

5. They should have kept the Spanish and British

[erronis]

6. Most of the creeps and idiots that speak from high places

wouldn't have a problem saying their not xian if that got them more money and power.

Xianity is just a lapel pin, just like some stars and bars. You're called out if you don't display it, but you're never expected to follow in the path of Jesus or be a real citizen.

[yuiyoshida]

7. Woohoo!

I am Buddhist, guess that means I can stay! XD \0/

[KamaAina]

8. And I'm one step from being an agnostic

I do believe in something, but any and all attempts to personify that something (e.g. as an old white man with a white beard) have failed for me so far.

[yuiyoshida]

10. old white man with a beard....

Really?


ho ho ho!

[spooky3]

9. Adam Sandler isn't Christian. But he deserves to be banned too.

[951-Riverside]

11. +1

[malaise]

12. Two world wars?

How about the slaughter of Native Americans in the name of Jebus

[zentrum]

14. Not to mention in the screw up

….list: Slavery.

[navarth]

16. bam!! nt

[MsMAC]

17. Oh darn! I was hoping it were true!

[IDemo]

18. Not to mention, lime Jello+marshmallow salads n/t