The Christmas joys of being married for eons.

[leftofcool]

I asked my husband if he wanted a lap dance for Christmas. His reply: "I think that ship has sailed, hon." Now I don't know what to get the 68 year old goat.

[yeoman6987]

1. Love it!

Merry Christmas!

[Human101948]

2. Viagra for after the football game...

by the way, was the lap dance to be performed by you or someone else?

[leftofcool]

3. It was me, which is why the ship sailed I guess.

[Human101948]

4. Ask me...I'm only 67!

Younger guys can be fun!

[Ilsa]

5. oy, I know what you mean...

And have you noticed the re-emergence of miniskirts and micro miniskirts? I suppose I could get away with wearing them as tunics with leggings.

[DFW]

6. Dunno what you mean by "eons"

My wife and I have been together for 41½ years now (33½ married), and while I have never been a big fan of lap dances, there are a few other moves she is welcome to perform any time she so desires.

[FLPanhandle]

7. Maybe he didn't want you to hurt yourself

He was being considerate. As a older husband, I felt the need to speak up for him.

[leftofcool]

9. LOL!

[3catwoman3]

8. This would seem the perfect place for my favorite "dirty" joke.

Q: Have you heard about the 3 stages of sex?
A: Why, no. What are they?

Stage 1: Newlywed - anytime, anywhere, can't get enough
Stage 2: After the Kids Come Along - you have to pencil it in on the calendar, and it isn't there very often
Stage 3: Hall Sex - you've been married so long that you just pass each other in the hall and snarl "Fuck you!"

[Manifestor_of_Light]

10. A George Burns line:

"At my age, sex and violence are the same thing!"