Terrified Jeb Bush Beginning To Fade From Visible Spectrum

[dixiegrrrrl]

Somehow this seems more relevant now than it did before Christmas

LAS VEGAS—His voice slowing during his response to a question about immigration as he struggled to comprehend what was happening to him, a visibly terrified Jeb Bush reportedly began to vanish from the visible spectrum while on stage at Tuesday night’s Republican debate.
“Securing our nation’s borders has to be the first priority in our…our…oh…oh, God. What—what’s going on?” said Bush, who, upon noticing that he was growing fainter, raised his translucent hands in front of his face in apparent disbelief, staring through them in horror for several seconds before frantically launching into the rest of his platform.
“Uh, we need more surveillance along the border, better enforcement of immigration laws that are already on the books, immigrants should have to learn English, uh, we gotta crack down on sanctuary cities, oh and also we must protect the Second Amendment, repeal Obamacare, lower taxes, and, and—no, no, no! Noooooo!”
At press time, a CNN set technician had hurried onto the stage and wheeled Bush’s podium away as the dim remaining silhouette of the candidate faded from sight forever.

From the Onion, of course......but still a delicious read

[malaise]

1. LOL

Only arrogance, hubris and living in the Bush bubble could have made JebusEnoughFuggingBushes contemplate running for President. It's like he and his family have no clue about the disaster that was his brother's administration.

[Wellstone ruled]

2. Wall Street will bring him on as a

Consensus Candidate at a brokered convention.

[Saphire]

4. it is just a way he thought he could make $$.

He knew/knows he cant win.

[hifiguy]

3. Soon he will be as faint as the

Cosmic Microwave Background radiation and a satellite will be needed to find him. Couldn't happen to a more deserving goon.

[dixiegrrrrl]

5. " Look!...up in the sky.......oh...never mind"

[central scrutinizer]

6. There's no JEB!

In ROY G BIV

[saltpoint]

7. Not looking good for Jeb in Iowa.

Not looking good for Jeb in New Hampshire. Or South Carolina. Anemic single-digit percentages in national polling.

He said there were "a lot of other cool things" he could be doing other than running for president. Better go do them, then, Jeb.