Shimmering Immaculate Republican Candidate Appears Before GOP Officials

[Zorro]

Explaining how they froze in place and stared up at the miraculous vision in rapt wonder, members of the Republican Party leadership reported that the shimmering image of an immaculate, ideal GOP presidential candidate appeared before them for a brief moment Friday and hovered in front of the party’s headquarters in Washington.

Those who witnessed the awe-inspiring vision said they felt a warm, comforting presence wash over them as the clouds parted and the luminous form of a man in his late 40s with chiseled features and perfectly parted hair descended from the sky above the Republican National Committee building. The mysterious levitating figure, who is said to have worn a brilliantly gleaming American flag lapel pin and an exquisitely tailored shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, reportedly flashed a confident yet disarming smile that, according to accounts, left several onlookers so moved that they began openly weeping.

“We were heading in for another meeting about how to deal with the upcoming convention when, suddenly, this perfect figure appeared in the air above us: a conservative presidential candidate with youthful energy and an undeniable everyman charm who shone with a golden light,” said RNC chairman Reince Priebus, choking up as he described how he and other party leaders gazed in wide-eyed disbelief at the tall, handsome apparition. “After all this time, to lay eyes on a pristine, easily electable Republican—it was staggering. It felt like every burden on our party melted away the instant he appeared. Everything became calm; peaceful; still.”

“He spoke only a few words, saying that we should lower corporate tax rates to boost economic growth,” Priebus added. “It felt like he was speaking directly to my soul.”

http://www.theonion.com/article/shimmering-immaculate-republican-candidate-appears-52710

[blm]

1. HAH!!!

.

[malaise]

2. That warm comforting feeling was

pee - their gawd is ROFL at all of them

[AxionExcel]

3. Could it be an emanation of Moloch (aka Moolah) ?

Repubbies have always been on their knees for Moolah, and now it just could be that HE i$ repaying them with this Immaculate Ejaculation (I mean Emanation).

[AxionExcel]

4. The Repube$ have lined up a Golden Bull for their $aVioR to ride to Washington