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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsKoch Brothers Consider Purchasing First Democrat - Andy Borowitz reports
WICHITA (The Borowitz Report)Charles and David Koch, the billionaire industrialists who have spent decades acquiring a world-class collection of Republicans, revealed over the weekend that they are considering purchasing their first Democrat.
Weve always bought Republicans, and our father bought Republicans before us, Charles, the elder Koch, said. Theyre bred to be obedient, and they respond to simple commands.
He said that he and his brother had considered acquiring a Democrat only after determining that none of the Republicans on offer this year was worth adding to their collection.
Its kind of a scary proposition for us, because weve never owned a Democrat before, he said. We dont really know what we should be looking for.
Koch said that he and his brother learned, after making some phone calls, that other oligarchs have bought Democrats in the past, and had good experiences with them.
That was very reassuring, he said.
But he bemoaned the absence of online consumer reviews that could help people who are, like him and his brother, interested in purchasing a Democrat for the very first time. Yelp needs to jump on this, he said.
While acknowledging the risk inherent in owning their first Democrat, Koch said that it would probably turn out to be a better investment than some of the Republicans they have recently purchased. It cant be worse than Scott Walker, he said.
www.borowitzreport.com
TheCowsCameHome
(40,168 posts)FlatBaroque
(3,160 posts)alfredo
(60,075 posts)FUCK THEMSELVES.
liberalnarb
(4,532 posts)IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Thanks to DUer BernieforPres2016 http://www.democraticunderground.com/12511810912#post84
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2015/05/17/the-fox-news-connection-to-clinton-foundation-d/203674
<But the non-profit arm of Fox News' then-parent company donated to the Clinton Foundation. The News Corp. Foundation, the charitable arm of Rupert Murdoch's News Corp., which at the time was the parent company of Fox News, donated between $500,001 to $1,000,000 to the foundation. James R. Murdoch, the co-chief operating officer of Fox News' current parent company, 21st Century Fox, and son of Rupert Murdoch, donated between $1,000,001 to $5,000,000.>
https://www.clintonfoundation.org/contributors?category=%241%2C000%2C001%20to%20%245%2C000%2C000&page=1
James Murdoch is listed as a donor of between $1 million and $5 million on the page of the Clinton Foundation website at the link above, right next to NewsMax. So NewsMax should also be an acceptable source for information on the Clintons.
Or Saudia Arabia, or (insert list of 1,100 foreign donors not disclosed and bundled through Canada)?
You honestly believe TWO BILLION DOLLARS was raised with no "quid pro quo" expectation from countries she helped sell arms to (in many cases, already funneled to al quaeda and ISIS)?
hughee99
(16,113 posts)Angry Dragon
(36,693 posts)rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)Goldman-Sachs said some time ago that the Oligarchy would be happy with either Clinton or Bush. And Bush is out.
appalachiablue
(41,168 posts)felix_numinous
(5,198 posts)thank you!!!!
HooptieWagon
(17,064 posts)It turned into a good investment for them.
Scuba
(53,475 posts)Hortensis
(58,785 posts)I'm guessing they'll start there, so a few Southern Democrats, maybe accent with a judgeship or two. Once they develop confidence, maybe start collecting the Blue Dog coalition. They need to be aware that those last may become rarer in future, though, and with that price will, of course, rise.
Dustlawyer
(10,497 posts)large payments or she will "evolve"on you, but we'll worth the money!
oldandhappy
(6,719 posts)baldguy
(36,649 posts)the Koch "endorsement" is it.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/12511824823
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)because they know she will treat them well. What's good for Goldman-Sachs is good for the Koch Bros.
baldguy
(36,649 posts)How does it feel to be a tool of the GOP?
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)that. Hillary can pretend all she wants but what helps the wealthy helps the Koch Bros. All of the big money side with Clinton. How can that be good. All of the big money disparage Sanders. It's not hard to figure out who represents who.
Feeling the Bern
(3,839 posts)How does is feel to be a tool for Too Big to Fail?
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)a person can be, RoR.
HRC has spent a great deal of time trying to convince business that she recognizes that our nation must have healthy commercial sectors to do well. She did that because, for excellent reason, they see Republicans rightly as the people who are on their side and are worried that Democrats are enemies determined to derail their gluttonous gravy train. As we are.
Promising to promote business's economic health, however, is not at all the same as promising to funnel the nation's wealth and power into their hands, and they certainly know it even if you refuse to.
Hillary's efforts have succeeded to some degree because MOST businessmen do NOT want their country to decline into a class-stratified, semi-developed nation with a business-dominated fascist-leaning government and an increasingly impoverished workforce.
Those here on DU who are not doing well economically may not realize it, but being affluent does not necessarily turn people into a neo-fascist pigs. By a long shot. Hillary is bringing her leadership to business by telling them it is past time to rein in the destructive greed that characterized the Reagan and Bush/Bush years, while reassuring them that if she is president their positive contributions to our nation will nevertheless be recognized and will be protected.
Is business as a whole flocking to the Democrats as a result? Hell no! The GOP is the party of business, and that's where the vast majority of their money is invested and conservatives are virtually 100% of the candidates they support. As it has been for a solid century.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)The wealth of the 1% has tripled over the last 30 years while the 99% has suffered. This wasn't an accident. It just follows the capitalism plan. And the Clinton Family have amassed $15,000,000 in a very short time following this business model of grab what you can. "MOST businessmen do NOT want their country to decline into a class-stratified, semi-developed nation with a business-dominated fascist-leaning government and an increasingly impoverished workforce." Most businessmen want more and more profits. That's their number one goal. The banksters didn't give tens of millions to Clinton to hear her tell them to cut back on their profits. And please, please don't give the crap about an improved economy will help everyone. It hasn't yet. Rising tides only raise the yachts and sink the dingys the peons are in.
It's delusional to believe that Clinton can talk the Rich Fat Cats into sharing their wealth with us peons.
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)of those powerful enough to matter. It'd be a very, very long list, but finite.
Others no.
RoR, if you could take out all the other groups who are fighting your enemies -- Democrats, moderate conservatives, responsible businessmen, etc. -- as your continual blanket rejection clearly indicates you are trying to do, you would fail to achieve all your goals. You would lose huge, and you would lose completely. Yet you not only refuse to see this simple reality, you'd choose to burn down your own barn rather than share it with Democrats.
Given this appallingly consistent attitude, I see your position as mostly just some kind of self indulgence of arrogance, a totally unjustified righteousness, and a resentment toward all who do not recognize your superior ideology. They want basically the same goals, but that does not rescue them in your mind. I do not believe those in your camp are actually incapable of rational thought, although a few might be, which for most just leaves self indulgence of what IMO may come natural to the many who feel as you do but nevertheless should never be indulged. Not by anyone committed to principle.
But since it is being indulged big time, IMO it's a damned good thing those who feel like this won't be running the Democratic Party party now or ever. That doomed-to-fail thing.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)all Americans. 2.5 million children are homeless while these businessmen you admire get richer and richer. They choose the candidate that will help them. They could end homelessness if they wanted but they want wealth, wealth and more wealth.
I work with those in need of food and the homeless. I see it every day.
Admiral Loinpresser
(3,859 posts)Charles Koch simply said that Hillary might be preferable to the current GOP candidates. That is a taint to her candidacy. The Koch funding to the DLC was significant. The DLC was a RW-lite takeover of the once-great Democratic Party. That is why Bernie is doing miraculously well despite every institutional disadvantage conceivable. Because Hillary is a shill for the 1%.
RoccoR5955
(12,471 posts)Like a fiddle. Look at how she has "evolved" on positions, and said that previous positions were mistakes. Once (FSM forbid) she's in office, she will more than likely reconsider her campaign "promises," by telling people that we cannot do any of that at this time, while giving the rest of our hard earned money to the corporations that funded her bid for election. She will say that we have to allow fracking anywhere, and let certain environmental regulations lapse because climate change "needs more study."
This is why I loathe the time when she is president. She has always gone back on her word, at least when it was to the regular people and she was Senator from NY. She will side with the large corporations, because, after all, they are the ones who paid her campaign bills.
No, it is not we Sanders backers who are being played, it's the Clinton backers, and they fail to see it in their euphoria.
Thespian2
(2,741 posts)baldguy
(36,649 posts)Meanwhile Bernistas continue to use use extremist RW talking points to attack Democrats and the Democratic Party, with the same wording, inflections & emphasis as the most obnoxious Tea Baggers. And no similar situation exists in the Clinton camp.
RoccoR5955
(12,471 posts)You only read the title, then state that I am using right wing tactics. That is called projection. It is Clinton who is using right wing tactics, because she is a right winger.
The tactic that I use is TRUTH. Clinton's actions can be extrapolated from past behavior. She SHALL change her views, as she always has, to suit her audience. This is not right wing, it is simple observation.
baldguy
(36,649 posts)And when Sanders supporters drag out the same old shit that the RW uses, when fucking Donald Trump thanks Sanders for using that false RW accusation that Clinton isn't qualified to be President - and Sanders doesn't object, when Sanders supporters fall for the RW asshole Koch playing them & ignore Clinton's objections, then Sanders and his supporters lose all credibility.
RoccoR5955
(12,471 posts)Another addition to my iggy list. Sheesh, the trolls here are incredible!
greymouse
(872 posts)Bernie is honest. It's hard to attack an honest person unless you lie, although of course Hillary is doing that as best she can. It's just that the Interwebs shine light on that crap, so it isn't that successful.
As to criticisms of Hillary and the DNC spanning left to right, well, the truth is the truth, no matter who is looking at it.
baldguy
(36,649 posts)AlbertCat
(17,505 posts)I dunno.
Not enough spontaneity in the performances to be able to suspend disbelief. Dreadful theater!
ConsiderThis_2016
(274 posts)840high
(17,196 posts)maindawg
(1,151 posts)The Donald has swiped the GOP right out from under him. The attack dogs he so carefully groomed have turned and bitten the hand that fed them. You reap what you sow.
Android3.14
(5,402 posts)Whether you support her or not, that we all see Clinton as the obvious "Democrat" to purchase in Borowitz's joke bodes ill for the general election, especially after her disingenuous primary behavior.
Transcripts anyone?
For profit prisons?
TPP?
Wounded Bear
(58,694 posts)SoapBox
(18,791 posts)the Kochs and Borowitz!
Kittycat
(10,493 posts)And we know that the DLC was part of the Clinton legacy (Hillary was a key member of the failed organization's leadership team). In the final end, when the DLC collapsed, Bill absorbed the records in to the Clinton Foundation. I guess it would be only natural that the right wing interests that funded the DLC would now fund the Clinton's presidential campaign.
Eta articles for spare time reading:
http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/33869-hillary-clinton-s-ghosts-a-legacy-of-pushing-the-democratic-party-to-the-right
2006 on Koch funding DLC/Democrats try to explain it away
http://www.democrats.com/node/7789
Melissa G
(10,170 posts)Dragonfli
(10,622 posts)After the landslide electoral losses to Ronald Reagan in the 1980s, a group of prominent Democrats began to believe their party was in need of a radical shift in economic policy and ideas of governance. The Democratic Leadership Council (DLC) was founded in 1985 by Al From and a group of like-minded politicians and strategists. They advocated a political "Third Way" as a method to achieve the electoral successes of Reaganism by adopting similar economic policies (Reagan Democrats and Moderate Republicans would provide burgeoning new constituencies after adding these new economic policies and politicians to our tent they contended) While hoping to retain, woman, minorities and other social issues allies with long ties to the party. Such would be their new Democratic coalition forged between fiscal right and social left under the "New" Democratic banner. The DLC disbanded in 2011 during an apparent re-branding of the New Democrat movement when money ties to the Koch bros. and Koch representatives placed on the DLC's board embarrassingly became common knowledge among the Democratic left. The DLC is survived by the Third Way, The New Democrat Coalition, and Al From's Progressive Policy Institute among other corporate funded groups that continue to sell their Economic-Right/Social-Left brand of "Centrism" to America.
More
Kittycat
(10,493 posts)Just pulling from the excerpt, and trying not to laugh because it includes bits about Third Way ties that so many have had their post hidden for pointing this out - when it's fact. Why people are so scared they want to hide it, I will never know.
PatrynXX
(5,668 posts)I suppose (Hi Andy) the Kochs can too. although NRA has more connections I think.
appalachiablue
(41,168 posts)*BERNIE SANDERS RIPS NON-PARTISAN MASK OFF REPUBLICAN MONEY MAN CHARLES KOCH*, Sunday, April 24, 2016
>Bernie Sanders exposed the truth about Charles Koch's extremist positions pro-Republican while the billionaire was trying to sell himself as non-partisan on ABC's This Week, Sunday, April 24, 2016.
*WATCH VIDEO, ABC 'THIS WEEK': Sen. BERNIE SANDERS on CHARLES KOCH, with host George Stephanopoulos.
Transcript via ABCs This Week:
STEPHANOPOULOS: You know, you seem to have an unlikely ally now in Charles Koch. In that interview with Jon Karl, he seemed to agree that the economic system is, in many ways, rigged. listen.
KARL: You you agree that this system is rigged?
KOCH: Absolutely.
KARL: is rigged in favor of of the wealthy?
KOCH: Because this two-tiered society creates welfare for the wealthy and and creates obstacles to opportunities for the disadvantaged.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Do you think theres a way to keep your movement alive in a bipartisan way going forward?
STEPHANOPOULOS: Sorry, Senator.
Do you do you think theres a way to keep your movement alive in a bipartisan way going forward?
*SANDERS: In a bipartisan way going forward?
Well, you know, I think when you talk to the Koch brothers, understand what they mean, George. These guys want to eliminate Social Security. They want to eliminate Medicare and Medicaid. They want to basically do away with virtually every major piece of legislation that has been passed since Franklin Delano Roosevelt was president.
That is their understanding of what government should be about. And needless to say, that is not my view.
On the other hand, I think youve got a lot of Republicans out there, working class Republicans, who understand that theres something wrong when their kids cant afford to go to college, something wrong when their jobs have gone to China and Mexico and theyre making 50 percent of what they used to make.
We have, in Vermont and I think in this campaign attracted a number of working class Republicans who understand that its important to have a government that fights for all of us and not just the 1 percent.
But why, that is not what the Koch brothers believe. They believe quite the quite the contrary.
*Charles Koch tried to fool the American people into believing that he is something that he is not. Sanders was correct. The Koch brothers are not only trying to undo every piece of legislation that helps the elderly, children, the poor, and American workers, but they are also pushing to take away healthcare from veterans by privatizing the VA.
*The fact that Charles Koch almost said something nice about HILLARY CLINTON says more about how much the Koch brothers hate Donald Trump than like Clinton. The Koch brothers arent non-partisan. The Kochs only support Republicans. The Koch brothers have budgeted $900 million for beating Democrats this fall.
*THE CORPORATE MEDIA pushing the Koch agenda, but Bernie Sanders was there to push back with the truth that the Koch brothers are the enemies of progress and democracy for ordinary Americans.
Source: http://www.politicususa.com/2016/04/24/bernie-sanders-rips-non-partisan-mask-republican-money-man-charles-koch.html
______________
~ BERNIE SANDERS SENATE WEBSITE: WHAT DO THE *KOCH BROTHERS* WANT? ~
- CHARLES AND DAVID KOCH, BILLIONAIRE SONS OF WICHITA, KANSAS.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_activities_of_the_Koch_brothers
As a result of the disastrous *Citizens United Supreme Court decision, billionaires and large corporations can now spend an unlimited amount of money to influence the political process.
Perhaps, the biggest winners of Citizens United are Charles and David Koch, owners of the second-largest privately run business in America Koch Industries. Among other things, the Koch brothers own oil refineries in Texas, Alaska, and Minnesota and control some 4,000 miles of pipeline.
According to Forbes Magazine, the Koch brothers are now worth $80 billion, and have increased their wealth by $12 billion since last year alone. For the Koch brothers, $80 billion in wealth, apparently, is not good enough. Owning the second largest private company in America is, apparently, not good enough. It doesnt appear that they will be satisfied until they are able to control the entire political process.
>It is well known that the Koch brothers have provided the major source of funding to the Tea Party and want to repeal the Affordable Care Act.
- DAVID KOCH What else do the Koch brothers want?
-> In 1980, DAVID KOCH RAN AS THE LIBERTARIAN PARTY'S VICE-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.
>Lets take a look at the 1980 LIBERTARIAN PARTY PLATORM:
Here are just a few excerpts of the Libertarian Party platform that David Koch ran on in 1980:
We urge the repeal of federal campaign finance laws, and the immediate abolition of the despotic Federal Election Commission.
We favor the abolition of Medicare and Medicaid programs.
We oppose any compulsory insurance or tax-supported plan to provide health services, including those which finance abortion services.
We also favor the deregulation of the medical insurance industry.
We favor the repeal of the fraudulent, virtually bankrupt, and increasingly oppressive Social Security system. Pending that repeal, participation in Social Security should be made voluntary.
We propose the abolition of the governmental Postal Service. The present system, in addition to being inefficient, encourages governmental surveillance of private correspondence. Pending abolition, we call for an end to the monopoly system and for allowing free competition in all aspects of postal service.
We oppose all personal and corporate income taxation, including capital gains taxes.
We support the eventual repeal of all taxation.
As an interim measure, all criminal and civil sanctions against tax evasion should be terminated immediately.
We support repeal of all law which impede the ability of any person to find employment, such as minimum wage laws.
>>>We advocate the complete separation of education and State. Government schools lead to the indoctrination of children and interfere with the free choice of individuals. Government ownership schools lead to the indoctrination of children and interfere with the free choice of individuals. Government ownership, operation, regulation, and subsidy of schools and colleges should be ended.
We condemn compulsory education laws and we call for the immediate repeal of such laws.
We support the repeal of all taxes on the income or property of private schools, whether profit or non-profit.
We support the abolition of the Environmental Protection Agency.
We support abolition of the Department of Energy.
We call for the dissolution of all government agencies concerned with transportation, including the Department of Transportation.
We demand the return of America's railroad system to private ownership. We call for the privatization of the public roads and national highway system.
We specifically oppose laws requiring an individual to buy or use so-called "self-protection" equipment such as safety belts, air bags, or crash helmets.
We advocate the abolition of the Federal Aviation Administration.
We advocate the abolition of the Food and Drug Administration.
We support an end to all subsidies for child-bearing built into our present laws, including all welfare plans and the provision of tax-supported services for children.
We oppose all government welfare, relief projects, and aid to the poor programs. All these government programs are privacy-invading, paternalistic, demeaning, and inefficient. The proper source of help for such persons is the voluntary efforts of private groups and individuals.
We call for the privatization of the inland waterways, and of the distribution system that brings water to industry, agriculture and households.
We call for the repeal of the Occupational Safety and Health Act.
We call for the abolition of the Consumer Product Safety Commission.
We support the repeal of all state usury laws.
In other words, the agenda of the Koch brothers is not only to defund Obamacare. The agenda of the Koch brothers is to repeal every major piece of legislation that has been signed into law over the past 80 years that has protected the middle class, the elderly, the children, the sick, and the most vulnerable in this country.
It is clear that the Koch brothers and other right wing billionaires are calling the shots and are pulling the strings of the Republican Party.
And because of the disastrous Citizens United Supreme Court decision, they now have the power to spend an unlimited amount of money to buy the House of Representatives, the Senate, and the next President of the United States.
>If they are allowed to hijack the American political process to defund Obamacare they will be back for more.
>Tomorrow it will be Social Security, ending Medicare as we know it, repealing the minimum wage. It seems to me that the Koch brothers will not be content until they get everything they believe they are entitled to.
>Our great nation can no longer be hijacked by right-wing billionaires like the Koch brothers.
*For the sake of our children and our grandchildren, for the sake of our economy, we have got to let democracy prevail.
http://www.sanders.senate.gov/koch-brothers
libodem
(19,288 posts)mr clean
(170 posts)All ready own her.
But 2020 her daughter might try to run.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,827 posts)But their first Democrat won't be cheap; just ask Goldman Sachs.
RufusTFirefly
(8,812 posts)The bidness of America is bidness.
What a country!
djean111
(14,255 posts)Admiral Loinpresser
(3,859 posts)SomeGuyInEagan
(1,515 posts)Varying degrees of truth, but always some truth. Sometimes, though, so much that you just want to cry.
Kingofalldems
(38,469 posts)ErikJ
(6,335 posts)They have set up and fund local front orgs like Cascade Policy Instititute and others to fight Oregons progressive policies. Especially our very progressive land-use planning laws and electric mass-transit system. Oregon passed the Urban Growth Boundary law in the 70's that outlaws sprawl outside each towns UGB to protect valuable farmland and forests habitat.
This was a call of war to the Kochs fearing it could spread to other cities and states. They went to war against Portland light rail which they are still battling the expansion of.
These f'ing slimeballs have been making me ill for decades.
Paper Roses
(7,474 posts)This old timer is overwhelmed by all of the politics this year. Sometimes I read and think, Can this be right? If I read this correctly, we are doomed. Not a joke in my opinion. This is a horror story.
nxylas
(6,440 posts)But all good satire is rooted in truth.
TrollBuster9090
(5,955 posts)Technically, they're a couple of TRUST FUND BRATS who inherited a giant money-making machine from their industrialist father.
bvar22
(39,909 posts)Koch Industries gave funding to the DLC and served on its Executive Council
<snip>
But, heres a key piece of information: the Kochs havent just given to right-wingers. Back in April of 2001, The American Prospects Bob Dreyfuss reported that the Kochs also funded the Democratic Leadership Council (DLC):
One member of the DLCs executive council is none other than Koch Industries, the privately held, Kansas-based oil company whose namesake family members are avatars of the far right, having helped to found archconservative institutions like the Cato Institute and Citizens for a Sound Economy. Not only that, but two Koch executives, Richard Fink and Robert P. Hall III, are listed as members of the board of trustees and the event committee, respectivelymeaning that they gave significantly more than $25,000.
<more>
Koch Brothers money was used to get Bill Clinton elected.
gordianot
(15,242 posts)hay rick
(7,636 posts)The funniest line is the last- Scott Walker buyer's remorse.
zentrum
(9,865 posts)They already helped buy the DLC back when the Clintons were co-founders of it in the early 90's. Koch Bro's were early funders of the New Democrats.
Cassiopeia
(2,603 posts)The Koch's invested in the Clinton's long ago.