Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder

[geardaddy]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/romney-spends-most-of-factory-visit-yelling-at-emp,28508/
NORTHFIELD, OH—Sources at the Gregson-Turner Paper Co. confirmed that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney spent the vast majority of his visit to the company's Ohio-based factory Tuesday yelling at employees to work harder.
Romney, who said the stop was an essential part of his tour of America's manufacturing sector, arrived at the facility at approximately 10 a.m. and within minutes began mercilessly hounding workers throughout the plant to "get their acts together" and "start pounding out some paper, c'mon."
"You people have been at work for nearly four hours and this is all you have to show for it? With all of this equipment?" a frustrated Romney reportedly shouted from the center of the factory while standing near several dozens crates of the day's completed paper supply. "What a truly pathetic performance. You guys better think about tightening things up around here fast, because what I'm seeing right now is completely unacceptable."
"For God's sake, there should be 20 to 30 percent more paper out here!" Romney added.

According to sources, the GOP candidate continually screamed at workers throughout the expansive paper mill to "stop slacking off," and in some cases even stood behind individual employees for as long as 15 minutes, loudly critiquing what he called the "unbelievable sloppiness" on display during every step of the paper's production cycle.

[annabanana]

1. love the Onion . .It's funny because it seems so very POSSIBLE!

Everyone can picture this asshole doing exactly that.

[smirkymonkey]

12. Actually, i thought it was a completely serious report until I noticed the

source. Still, I doubt it's very far from the truth.

[rurallib]

13. lordy, so did I

I reread it twice and was just getting ready to click the source when I saw it was the Onion.

[Bake]

2. Does this clown even WANT to be elected???

Run this on every ad, every hour, every TV station in the country. Romney is a total blithering idiot!! Was he serious, or did he think he was being funny????

Bake

[joeglow3]

5. Ummm, look at the "source"

[Zalatix]

8. It's the Onion. He would only do this after he buys the company.

[Bake]

14. The Onion!! I shoulda known!!

Bake

[leveymg]

3. I also missed the url - completely believed this was real until about the middle of the third para.

Brilliant.

[bluestateguy]

4. Not funny

nt

[tkmorris]

11. I find it hilarious

Different strokes and all that I suppose.

[Bake]

15. Now that I know it's the Onion, I'm laughing my ass off!!!!

The best humor is very close to the truth!! And this is definitely close to the truth.

Bake

[Wait Wut]

6. I'm beginning to hate The Onion.

Only because I never look at links. About 2/3 of the way through the second paragraph, I knew. Got all irritated.

Anyway, I can't believe this asshole has the nuts to walk into any factory, union or otherwise.

Edit: 'Cause...duh.

[longship]

7. If it's from the Onion, you should probably put it in the title

Otherwise, people might miss the link and take the story as real.

Nevertheless, great post!
R&K

[Initech]

9. The sad thing is it wouldn't surprise me in the least if it were true!

[geardaddy]

10. This is why I posted it.

R-Money is a caricature of himself.

[Rain Mcloud]

16. Thus the Magic Mormon Spake

[HughBeaumont]

17. Republicans: Putting Satirists, Comedians and Joke writers out of work since 1981.

Laugh now, but it's how RMoney got wealthy . . . without the yelling at workers, that is.

During his tenure, he very rarely visited the floors, presumably because many of them wouldn't even be there once he ransacked the place for profit and spare change.

[geardaddy]

18. So true.

He's not even interested in production, just ransacking the business for what he can get for them.

[GeorgeGist]

19. Just a suggestion.

Put the link at the end.

[JI7]

20. i thought this was true until i saw the link