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icymist

(15,888 posts)
Mon Aug 15, 2016, 04:09 PM Aug 2016

TRUMP BLAMES BAD POLL NUMBERS ON EXISTENCE OF NUMERICAL SYSTEM (Borowitz)

YOUNGSTOWN, OHIO (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump lashed out at a new target on Monday, blaming his bad poll numbers on the existence of the numerical system.

In sometimes rambling remarks at an outdoor rally in Ohio, the Republican Presidential nominee called the numerical system “rigged” and unleashed a torrent of abuse on numbers themselves, calling them “disgusting” and “the lowest form of life.”

“It’s why I won’t release my taxes,” he said. “They’re full of goddam numbers.”

While Republican candidates in the past have attempted to exploit their supporters’ distrust of math, Trump is believed to be the first nominee to call into question the numerical system itself.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-blames-bad-poll-numbers-on-existence-of-numerical-system
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TRUMP BLAMES BAD POLL NUMBERS ON EXISTENCE OF NUMERICAL SYSTEM (Borowitz) (Original Post) icymist Aug 2016 OP
Arabic numbers, no less. It's a conspiracy! nt Xipe Totec Aug 2016 #1
I love good satire Gothmog Aug 2016 #2
Great satire, but it sounds all too plausible. Eugene Aug 2016 #3
As his base says, "It's about time!!! I was never no good with my numbers. Letters too!!!" 63splitwindow Aug 2016 #4
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