Team Of Vatican Geneticists Successfully Clone God

[geardaddy]

http://www.theonion.com/article/team-vatican-geneticists-successfully-clone-god-53750

The Holy See’s geneticists say they’re pleased by how quickly the juvenile God clone created beings in His own image.

VATICAN CITY—Describing the groundbreaking work as a major step forward for theological research, a team of Vatican geneticists held a press conference Tuesday at the Apostolic Palace to announce they had successfully cloned God.

The team of ordained scientists from the Catholic Church’s Order of Holy Genomics confirmed they had, after decades of concerted effort and numerous failed attempts, finally succeeded in creating a genetically identical copy of the Almighty. The newborn God clone #8RR19, which the team has nicknamed “Marvin,” has reportedly survived for over seven weeks since emerging from an incubation vat in the basement laboratory of St. Peter’s Basilica.

“By artificially producing a fully functional God who possesses all of the divine traits of the original, we now have the ability to conduct hands-on research on the Lord,” said Father Giancarlo Bertinotti, who first conceived of fertilizing a Supreme Being embryo by extracting sublime DNA from a skin cell of the Hand of God and injecting the holy genetic material into a donor egg cell. “It may now be possible to answer some of our greatest questions about our Creator, such as whether there are any observable boundaries of His love, if He is incapable of forgiving certain sins, and how exactly He comes to dwell inside all of us.”

“This breakthrough marks a new chapter in our quest to quantify precisely how great and good God is,” Bertinotti continued.

The rest at link.

[Humanist_Activist]

1. Sounds like a plot in Star Trek: TNG where Klingon scientists clone Khaless the Unforgettable...

he's not a god, per se, but a great Klingon prophet of sort. The Klingons killed their gods, they were more trouble than they worth. Anyways, so the scientists cloned Kahless to fulfill a prophecy that he will come back, as they put it, the prophecy didn't say how Kahless would come back.

[sakabatou]

2. First words out of it's mouth will be

"Sorry, I'm *insert deity no one has heard of* not the god of the Bible."

[geardaddy]

3. Haha!

That would be awesome.

[ProfessorGAC]

4. This is Not The god Of Shakari

Or any other god.

(Thank you, Spock.)

[clarice]

5. "If I could put God in a bottle...the first thing that..........." nt

[justhanginon]

6. Marvin????

[geardaddy]

7. I know!