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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsA Letter from Mitt Romney to his Former Gardener - briefly intercepted and read by Andy Borowitz
JUNE 16, 2012
A Letter from Mitt Romney to his Former Gardener
About the New Immigration Rules
The Borowitz Report has obtained the following letter from Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney to his former gardener, José Salazar:
Dear José:
Im writing to you today with some exceptionally good news.
As you probably remember, a few months back I fired from you from your job mowing the lawn at my house. If I remember correctly, my exact words were, Im running for office, for Petes sake, I cant have illegals.
Well, heres the good news: now I can.
Thanks to President Obamas executive order regarding immigration, Im happy to report that I can hire you back to your old job, as long as youre under 30. Am I right in assuming you are? You looked pretty young to me, especially for a person who spends so much time in the sun and isnt allowed to come inside the house.
You see, as much as I like firing people, Ive come to regret letting you go, José. Ann and I miss you. The young man we hired to replace you, while legal and all, just doesnt mow the lawn as well as you do, and he insists on being paid on the books, which rubs Ann and me the wrong way.
So I hope youll consider my offer to come back. The only teeny hitch and I hope youll agree that its just a teeny one is that Ill have to fire you again come January. Ill be President then, and Ill have to reverse everything that Obama did, for Petes sake.
But theres a lot of mowing to be done between now and January, José, and Ann and I think youre the man do it. If not, I suppose well have to go out and hire ourselves a Greek fellow. I understand they work for nothing, or drachmas whichevers less. (Laughing Out Loud.)
Sincerely,
Mr. Romney
www.borowitzreport.com
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A Letter from Mitt Romney to his Former Gardener - briefly intercepted and read by Andy Borowitz (Original Post)
Mira
Jun 2012
OP
His personality is captured perfectly in this letter. He hasn't an ounce of understanding that he and
The Wielding Truth
Jun 2012
#1
The Wielding Truth
(11,415 posts)1. His personality is captured perfectly in this letter. He hasn't an ounce of understanding that he and
his help are both people. He can not relate to them. It's as if they are another species the way he treats them.
Hilarious and spot on.
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)2. the sad truth is this really could be true
haha