Forget locker-room talk, says Elizabeth Smart, there’s ‘no justifying’ sexual violence

[kpete]

"I'm always reminded that there's a big need for this," she says. Rape and sexual assault are not isolated events that happen once in awhile, she says, and they're life-changing for victims, who need support to address their grief, pain and anger.

The worst part about it is listening to people trying to belittle it, just saying, 'Well, it's locker-room talk, it's locker-room banter,' " she says. Anyone belittling sexual violence, sexual abuse, they're doing a huge disservice to victims of violent crimes, violent sexual abuse. There's no justifying it — ever."

"When I was first raped, I didn't realize there was a difference between rape and sex," she says. "Immediately, in my little 14-year-old mind when that happened, I thought, 'I'm impure. Who will ever want to marry me now?' If my parents knew what happened, would they even want me back, or would they think, 'Good thing we had six kids 'cause we still have five others'?"



http://www.sltrib.com/home/4460702-155/forget-locker-room-talk-says-elizabeth-smart

[Happyhippychick]

2. She is a most remarkable young woman. She lived through unimaginable horror and emerged

with incredible grace and dignity.

I am such a huge admirer of hers. She's utterly remarkable.

[csziggy]

4. She is amazing - but what kind of upbringing makes a survivor of sexual violence

Think that she is "impure" because of it? Or that her family would not want her back?

I find that as disturbing as the sexual attack itself - and that far too many women are raised with that concept imprinted into them to the extent that they don't report the crimes against them!

Girls need to know that they are valued for their own qualities and not diminished for what others might to do them.

[Happyhippychick]

5. Yes I agree. She was victimized (again!) by that belief system.

I am assuming that her parents and family did not give her anything other than radical acceptance when she returned. At least that's what I want to believe because it would make me so sad to think otherwise.

[Ms. Toad]

7. News Flash: We all do, or nearly all.

I consider myself lucky that I escaped self-loathing and self-blame, particularly since I spent a decade following being raped as a peer advocate for other rape and sexual assault survivors. The feeling is nearly universal among the women I counseled - and I don't think they were some special cross-section that was more prone to self-blame. It is not her upbringing (as in family) it is the rape culture in which women are raised - the rape culture that Trump's "locker room talk" finally made real for many who deny it exists.

I agree with your last comment.

[malaise]

14. It is the rape culture

but it is also the ridiculous religious 'judgement' which makes girls and women hate themselves. Additionally families socializing their girl and boy children to believe this purity bullshit and reinforce it with religion have made it worse the victims.

[Ms. Toad]

15. In my experience, dealing with several hundred rape survivors,

religion plays a minor (and somewhat unpredictable) role in how women react to rape.

Personally, the role religion played for me made the difference between self-blame (my starting point as the target of the school bully a half dozen years earlier) and being confident enough about where the blame belonged when I was raped to stand up to brutal police (and less brutal parental) questioning that attempted to place the blame for being raped on me.

[malaise]

16. I'll defer

You have way more experience and knowledge.

Thanks for stating the role of religion in your awful experience.

[blm]

10. At 14 and not yet dating, sexual violence would have been an unlikely subject to be discussed.

I know my discussions with my 16yo daughter have been an ongoing process.

[niyad]

3. k and r

[anamandujano]

6. That's exactly what Trump and his surrogates are tying to do--JUSTIFY IT!

She found the right word.

[Liberal_in_LA]

8. Absolutely

[Retired George]

11. Monumental K&R

Elizabeth,

[Iggo]

12. Exactly. It ain't the words. It's the deeds. (n/t)

[malaise]

13. A strong young woman

So good to hear her voice - it should be heard across the US