Dear Barack Obama, thank you for not being an evil robot accountant

[sheshe2]

Dear Barack Obama,

According to a racist clock I found on the internet, you only have 107 days, 22 hours, 37 minutes and five seconds left as president of the United States. Hopefully, when that clock runs out, you will be replaced by our first female president instead of an authoritarian lamprey, but either way I will miss you a lot, bro.

snip//

Meanwhile, thank you for calling yourself a feminist without caveat. Thank you for the healthcare. Thank you for dragging our economy back from the brink of catastrophe, for believing in climate change like a normal person, for legalising gay marriage. Thank you for campaigning so hard for Secretary Clinton, and for having your picture taken with so many hilarious babies.


Thank you for modelling competence, humour and grace for your constituents, whether they appreciated it or not. You were held to a higher standard, with more gratuitous obstructionism than any president in history, and you didn’t just meet that standard – you transcended it. You chuckled through racist death threats and “terrorist fist jabs” and secret-Kenyan-Muslim-lizard-people-Satan’s-gay-butt-priest bloviations long after any average person would have thrown a chair through the window of a Jamba Juice and take to the wilds until death. Laughing at your enemies, holding on to your identity undimmed and letting your anger out when it really matters – those are lessons that have helped me, personally, in a very direct and tangible way.

To be honest, I wouldn’t mind if there wasn’t another straight, white dude president for the rest of my daughters’ lives. And all the Twitter “egalitarians” can quit crying, because we would still be at, like, a 25-president deficit. I’m being generous, if you think about it. Mr President, I know you can’t agree with me on this one because you still have to be in charge of this racist, sexist rodeo for 107 more days, but blink twice for yes. Blink three times for abolishing term limits and four times for forever-president Michelle. I see you, Barry. Blink blink.

I wish you the most decadent Rip Van Winkle nap of all time on 21 January. Pro tip: electric blanket. They’re like drugs.

Your citizen,

Lindy

Read More: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/oct/04/dear-barack-obama-thank-you-not-being-an-evil-robot-accountant?CMP=soc_567

_____________________________________

Thank you Mr. President. The world is a better place for having know you and the rest of your amazing family.

[Warren DeMontague]

3. and thank you for bravely pardoning a whole bunch of non-violent drug offenders, despite there being

pretty much zero political benefit to doing so. It's the right thing to do, unfortunately the millions of pot smokers, etc. we've been filling our prisons for the past several decades with have very little political clout.

[sheshe2]

4. +1000