General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsA guide to learning to deal with narcissistic personality disorder by GetToKnowYourPresiden
http://imgur.com/gallery/1rMMuHe is who he is. There is no getting better, or learning, or adapting. Hes not going to rise to the occasion for more than maybe a couple hours. So just put that out of your mind.
He will lie a lot, and say totally different things to different people. Stop being surprised by this. While its important to pretend good faith and remind him of promises, as Bernie Sanders and others are doing, thats for his supporters, so *they* can see the inconsistency as it comes. He wont care. So if youre trying to reconcile or analyze his words, dont. Its 100% not worth your time. Only pay attention to and address his actions.
There are already people like Bannon who appear ready to use him for their own ends. The GOP is excited to try. Watch them, not him. President Obama, in his wisdom, may be treating him well in hopes of influencing him and averting the worst. If he gets enough accolades for better behavior, he might continue to try it. But dont count on it.
As we are already seeing, he will likely not observe traditional boundaries of the office. He has already stated that rules dont apply to him. This particular attribute has huge implications for the presidency and it will be important for everyone who can to hold him to the same standards as previous presidents.
People with NPD often cant understand others as fully human or distinct.
He desires accumulation of wealth and power because it fills a hole. He will have no qualms *at all* about stealing everything he can and hell be happy to help others do so, if they make him feel good. He wont view it as stealing but rather as something hes entitled to do. This is likely the only thing he will intentionally accomplish.
While often intelligent, charismatic and charming, they do not reliably observe social conventions or demonstrate basic human empathy. Its very common for non-disordered people to lower their own expectations and try to normalize the behavior. DO NOT DO THIS AND DO NOT ALLOW OTHERS, ESPECIALLY THE MEDIA, TO DO THIS. If you start to feel foggy or unclear about this, step away until you recalibrate.
Called "enablers" when they allow or cover for bad behavior. Flying monkeys when they perpetrate bad behavior on behalf of the narcissist. Although its easiest to prey on malicious people, good and vulnerable people can be unwittingly recruited. It will be important to support good people around him if and when they attempt to stay clear or break away.
Expect lots of chaos, firings and recriminations. He will probably behave worst toward those closest to him, but that doesnt mean (obviously) that his actions wont have consequences for the rest of us. He will punish enemies. He may start out, as he has with the NYT, with a confusing combination of punishing/rewarding, which is a classic abuse tactic for control. If you see your media cooperating or facilitating this behavior for rewards, call them on it.
Gaslighting : where someone tries to convince you that the reality youve experienced isnt true .
He will gaslight, his followers will gaslight. Many of our politicians and media figures already gaslight, so it will be hard to distinguish his amplified version from what has already been normalized. Learn the signs and find ways to stay focused on what you know to be true. Note: it is typically not helpful to argue with people who are attempting to gaslight. You will only confuse yourself. Just walk away.
Unfortunately we cant and shouldnt ignore the president, but dont circulate his tweets or laugh at him you are enabling him and getting his word out.
Pay attention to your own emotions: do you sort of enjoy his clowning? do you enjoy the outrage? is this kind of fun and dramatic, in a sick way? You are adding to his energy. Focus on what you can change and how you can resist, where you are.
"We are all called to be leaders now, in the absence of leadership."
Raster
(20,998 posts)...the comments are awesome! WE are not alone!
annabanana
(52,791 posts)I was unfamiliar with the phrase "gaslighting" until the rise of the hard right via ailes.. I had never seen that movie.,
I had been a victim of gaslighting before in another context..
Achilleaze
(15,543 posts)malaise
(269,063 posts)Talk about a short-fingered 'limited' vulgarian.
Gaudy and vulgar best describe him - what awful taste.
Jacob Boehme
(789 posts)Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul to waste
hedda_foil
(16,375 posts)gordianot
(15,242 posts)No exceptions!
kwassa
(23,340 posts)It is all about this disorder.
War Horse
(931 posts)will probably dismiss it as propaganda, or "whining", as they like to call it.
The rest of us realize immediately how this hits the nail on the head. The signs of NPD in Trump are so freaking obvious to those of us who have had to deal with people with NPD in our lives.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)All alarms on full volume
Phoenix61
(17,006 posts)Personality disorders are generally considered untreatable. They are so convinced their take on reality is accurate, if you aren't careful, they will have you believing it too. Since they have no solid core/ego strength, they are in a constant state of chaos. The only real pattern to their behavior is there is no pattern. The problem isn't that Trump lies, the problem is his perception of reality is constantly changing. He tells it as he sees it but the picture isn't ever stable. The picture is not defined by a fact based reality. It is based on his feelings. Which is why trying to reason with him will not work.
RobinA
(9,894 posts)to make the "He tells it has he sees it but the picture isn't ever stable" point forever now. It's actually worse than lying, because if he were lying he could always not lie. As it is, he will never have a stable picture of the world. That and, No, he isn't going to straighten up and fly right when he becomes a serious contender/is the nominee/wins the election/gets in office. Personality is stable. Meaning in his case, his instability is stable.
Equinox Moon
(6,344 posts)We all see the media try to have "logical" discussions about his actions and comments, but the reality is, mental illness is an illness of the mental. One cannot make sense out of things that are from illness mentality.
This is a catastrophic disaster to our nation. He will keep his illness mentality front and center in the media, which in turn keeps this toxic mentality in ALL of our awareness, month after month, year after year. I for one, have renewed my daily meditation practice to keep clearing this toxicity.
dsharp88
(487 posts)I know it will be good for my mental health, and those in my social media circle.
LongTomH
(8,636 posts)"While often intelligent, charismatic and charming, they do not reliably observe social conventions or demonstrate basic human empathy. Its very common for non-disordered people to lower their own expectations and try to normalize the behavior. DO NOT DO THIS AND DO NOT ALLOW OTHERS, ESPECIALLY THE MEDIA, TO DO THIS. If you start to feel foggy or unclear about this, step away until you recalibrate."
uponit7771
(90,347 posts)... an barely a peep by the M$M on this issue.
But 1.5 years of fuckin email shit !!
eppur_se_muova
(36,271 posts)sunlight breaking through the clouds ? SRSLY ??
Truly successful people are not so alarmingly desperate to show off the trappings of wealth. "Tasteful understatement" is more the style of the genuinely rich -- something this TOPUS* will never grasp, and can never aspire to.
*Not a typo. T=totally, U=unqualified or useless
Skittles
(153,169 posts)IT'S SO FUCKING GAUDY