Women are less happy than men in marriage, but society pretends it isn't true

[FarCenter]

Women have more rights and opportunities than they have had in decades and yet they are less happy than ever in both absolute terms and relative to men.

Marriage is part of why.

Heterosexual marriage is an unequal institution. Women on average do more of the unpaid and undervalued work of households, they work more each day, and they are more aware of this inequality than their husbands. They are more likely to sacrifice their individual leisure and career goals for marriage.

Marriage is a moment of subordination and women, more so than men, subordinate themselves and their careers to their relationship, their children, and the careers of their husbands.

27 dresses
Katherine Heigl plays a serial bridesmaid in the movie "27 Dresses." Movieclips/YouTube

Compared to being single, marriage is a bum deal for many woman. Accordingly, married women are less happy than single women and less happy than their husbands, they are less eager than men to marry, they're more likely to file for divorce and, when they do, they are happier as divorcees than they were when married (the opposite is true for men) and they are more likely than men to prefer never to remarry.

The only reason this is surprising is because of the torrent of propaganda we get that tells us otherwise.

http://www.businessinsider.com/society-should-stop-pretending-marriage-makes-women-so-happy-2017-1

[Warpy]

1. "Marriage reduces men's violence and conflict in a society by giving men something to lose."

Uh, not really. It just redirects a violent man to exercise violence against women and children in the marriage.

And that's another reason glossy magazines in waiting rooms tell married women how happy they are supposed to be.

[mythology]

10. The statistical evidence says otherwise and strongly so.

Domestic violence is trending down and has dropped 67% between 1994 and 2013

https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/C-SPAN_DV2_oct2014_5.pdf

More specifically from a different article based on BJS data:

By 2010, the rate for married women with children had fallen to 2.5 per 1,000 while the rate for single women with children remained stubbornly high at 31.7 per 1,000.

http://www.justicenyc.com/2014/12/17/marriage-reduce-domestic-abuse/

Or there's this older research:

A recent Census Bureau report speculated that perhaps so many children were being born to unmarried mothers because women were avoiding marriage out of fear of domestic violence and child abuse. Is this a reasonable fear? My own analysis of data from the 1987/88 National Survey of Families and Households shows that married people are about half as likely as cohabiting couples to say that arguments between them and their partner had become physical in the previous year (eight percent of married women compared to 16 percent of cohabiting women). When it comes to "hitting, shoving, and throwing things," cohabiting couples are more than three times more likely than the married to say things get that far out of hand. One reason cohabitors are more violent is that they are, on average, younger and less educated. But even after controlling for education, race, age, and gender, people who live together are 1.8 times more likely to report violent arguments than married people.

https://www2.gwu.edu/~ccps/rcq/rcq_negativeeffects_waite.html

[Squinch]

2. Serial monogamist here. Happier than almost all of my married friends.

[Laffy Kat]

3. Almost w/o fail, I have noticed that when couples divorce,

The wife usually does something like change careers, go back to school to finish their undergrad or graduate degree, etc.; and men just remarry. My own divorce was no exception. My ex is not remarried but immediately got online and within six weeks, after maybe just dating three women, found another girlfriend and they are serious now. I want nothing but happiness for him, but if he doesn't work on his relationship/communication skills I don't think it's going to last. None of my business now. I never looked back and only wish I had left a heck of a lot sooner.

[HeartachesNhangovers]

4. And that's why the marriage rate is trending down.

Fewer people expect marriage to be in their best interest.

[angstlessk]

5. And that's why some men are trying to turn back the clock

on women's rights

[silverweb]

7. May they fail spectacularly!

[flamingdem]

8. I find this to be an unusual thread on DU

It really isn't discussed much in the media so we need to learn from one another.
The older I get the less attractive it becomes to play a role so I think it depends.

If the person is progressive then it might be worthwhile. If he wants clean clothes
and a meal on the table, well I have better things to do than base my life around
servicing another human.

[mythology]

9. Things like giving up a career are optional choices. Don't do so

My mom in the late 70s in her late teens with just a high school education didn't change her name when she got married. If the partner in your life isn't pulling their weight, don't just sit around and hope it gets better. Make it get better.

Also there are other studies that say the opposite, that married women are happier than single women.

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2010/10/marriage.aspx

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/01/married-people-are-happier-people.html

http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/married-people-happier-than-singles.htm

The author of the original article also contends that talking about female genital mutilation is used only as a distraction from the oppression women face in the U.S. and that reporters who write articles condemning FGM only serves to stigmatize those who do practice it. I was going to say that she's a questionable source, but no, she's a fucking idiot who should remove her head from her ass before being cited again.