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Tommy_Carcetti

(43,174 posts)
Tue Feb 14, 2017, 12:41 PM Feb 2017

**EXCLUSIVE** White House releases transcript of telephone call between Flynn and Russian ambassador

Note: On December 29, 2016, former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn spoke with the Russian Ambassador to the United States, Sergei Kislyak. The conversation took place shortly after President Obama had ordered additional sanctions on the Russian Federation over what they believe was Russia's interference in the U.S. political process. In light of recent events and accusations surrounding the administration, President Trump, and General Flynn, the White House has made the decision to release the entire transcript of the conversation between General Flynn and Ambassador Kislyak so that the media (FAKE NEWS!) is not able to distort the events that actually took place and falsely libel former or current members of the Trump Administration. The conversation, in full:

(Dial tone, followed by three rings and a pick up)

Sergei Kislyak (SK), Russian Ambassador to the United States: Hello?

Michael Flynn (MF): Hello, I'd like to place an order to go. I'll take one extra large, half cheese, half pepperoni--

SK: Who is this?

MF: A large sausage, some stuffed cheesy bread--

SK: Who is this?

MF: A medium veggie lovers, just because, you know there's just always going to be someone who asks for that--

SK: Who is this that is speaking?

MF: This is Michael Flynn. This is Domino's pizza, right?

SK: No, this is not pizza place. This is Sergei Kislyak, Russian ambassador.

MF: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

SK: It okay. Don't worry. I get this wrong number a lot. People call up, ask for pizza, it be very annoying. I think there is one number different.

MF: You know, the same thing happens to me? Except for me, it's Wendy's. People call up and keep asking for Wendy's. Which doesn't even make sense, because Wendy's doesn't even deliver, so why would anyone be calling them?

SK: You right, you right, it makes no sense at all.

(Five second silent period)

MF: So....

SK: Yeah....

MF: Hey, did you see Moana?

SK: Actually, yes, I did. I take grandchild. Lovely film. I love, who he called?

MF: The Rock.

SK: Yes! The Rock.

MF: Do you smell...

SK/MF (together): ...what The Rock is cooking!

(Laughter, followed by another five second silent period)

SK: Say, Michael, while I have you on the phone--

MF: Yes?

SK: Well, I like to talk to you about san-

MF: The San Francisco 49ers? Bad, bad season for them. Looks like Chip Kelly's out the door. Maybe the same for Kapernick. But hey, if they draft well enough--

SK: No, I really like to talk about san-

MF: Sangria wine? Great for parties. Made some for our family Christmas get together this year. The key is to get good juicing oranges. Valencias, not navels--

SK: No, no, no, no wine. I mean san--

MF: Santa Claus? What did Santa Claus bring this year? Well, I'll just say that somebody got themselves a new X-Box........

SK: Sanctions! I talk about new sanctions President Obama put on Russia today!

MF: Whoa, whoa! Hold on there, partner. I've got to be very clear here. Donald Trump's not the president yet. So whatever decisions President Obama makes are his, and I can't comment on them, nor can I make any promises right now on whether or not we'll be able to lift them once we get to office. You understand that doing that right now would be highly inappropriate and probably illegal, right?

SK: Yes, yes, certainly. Don't worry about it. Besides, I'm sure my boss will probably just throw out weird statement like, "It okay. I no expel US diplomats in retaliation."

MF: Of course, and then my guy would be like, "Great move on delay by Putin. I always knew he was very smart!"

SK: He probably Tweet it!

(More laughter, followed by another five second silent period)

MF: You know who I should probably mention that I'm having this conversation with? Mike Pence.

SK: Mike Pence? He man everyone ignore at Republican convention, right?

MF: Yeah, but he's just a swell guy. Just a really great guy. And of course I should always mention everything I do to him so that he has his input. I mean, since he's going to be Vice President and all.

SK: Yes, yes. Of course. But you know?

MF: What?

SK: It the holidays right now. He relax, he on vacation. You tell him now, chances are he forget. Very annoying.

MF: Hmm, you might be right. So you're saying maybe I should wait a little bit?

SK: Just little bit. Maybe.....maybe wait until Valentine's Day. You know, say it with chocolates.

MF: That's not a bad idea.

SK: Or maybe even Easter, or Fourth of July, or Labor Day....Oh, I know!

MF: What?

SK: You tell him on one-year anniversary of today! December 29, 2017! You take him to dinner, look in his eye, and say, "Mike Pence, you very special to me. I love to tell you everything. Like one year ago today I talk to Russian ambassador."

MF: Oh, that's perfect. Sergei, you are an absolute genius!

SK: Oh, stop! I just....know people.

MF: It's going to be a blast working with you.

SK: But you no worry about this upcoming year. US and Russia, Putin and Trump, they going to be great friends. We no mention at all how Trump owe so, so much money to Russia businessmen. Nor we mention time he pay for prostitute to pee on bed.

MF: Well, thanks, that's very good to know.

SK: And we certainly no mention about time when Trump in Moscow and Russian mafia take him and force him to be hit man for them and kill those four people.

MF: Well, yeah, that just goes without saying.

SK: Well, I better let you go now. Sounds like you have pizza you want to eat.

MF: Yeah, yeah, you're probably right.

SK: Oh, wait, Michael. One more thing.

MF: Yes.

SK: Sangria recipe. You must give it to me, okay?

MF: Oh, of course. You won't regret it, trust me.

SK: We all have it together one day. You, me, Donald, Vlad. Don't forget to invite Rex. He love drinking with Vlad. They do shots, crazy stuff happen, lots of people die. Very much fun. You never forget it.

MF: Sounds like a plan. Talk to you soon, Sergei.

SK: Da svidahnia, Michael.

(Phone disconnects, end of call.)
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**EXCLUSIVE** White House releases transcript of telephone call between Flynn and Russian ambassador (Original Post) Tommy_Carcetti Feb 2017 OP
You have too much time on your hands, Tommy! PJMcK Feb 2017 #1
Well thank you! Tommy_Carcetti Feb 2017 #2
Excellent! randome Feb 2017 #3
Thanks! nt Tommy_Carcetti Feb 2017 #4
Aaa+++ grantcart Feb 2017 #5
LOL. nt Tommy_Carcetti Feb 2017 #7
You got a future in comedy, kid. nolabear Feb 2017 #6
Glad it's a future in it.... Tommy_Carcetti Feb 2017 #8
LOL GallopingGhost Feb 2017 #9
Ha ha. Nt Tommy_Carcetti Feb 2017 #10

PJMcK

(22,031 posts)
1. You have too much time on your hands, Tommy!
Tue Feb 14, 2017, 12:47 PM
Feb 2017

That took some time to "transcribe." Thanks for the laugh. You get one of my last hearts!

Tommy_Carcetti

(43,174 posts)
2. Well thank you!
Tue Feb 14, 2017, 12:48 PM
Feb 2017

And yes, that was way too much time on my hands. But I had to strike while the iron was hot.

 

randome

(34,845 posts)
3. Excellent!
Tue Feb 14, 2017, 12:54 PM
Feb 2017

[hr][font color="blue"][center]A 90% chance of rain means the same as a 10% chance:
It might rain and it might not.
[/center][/font][hr]

grantcart

(53,061 posts)
5. Aaa+++
Tue Feb 14, 2017, 01:50 PM
Feb 2017

The reviews are in

"more laughs than an OP should be allowed to have"

"better than the original"

"well edited so he wasn't drinking when he wrote it"

and from the Vice President's staff

"Pence just asked me why they keep showing him new versions but is pretty sure this one is right".

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