Diseased Rat Alert for Washington, DC!

[MineralMan]

Public Health officials in the District of Columbia are warning residents to be especially watchful for infestations of the common rat in some neighborhoods near the White House. Apparently, numerous, potentially diseased rats are trying to escape from a number of government buildings at an increasing rate, raising concerns about rodent-borne diseases including the dreaded bubonic plague. Residents are warned to keep doors and windows closed until the situation improves. Watch for a Health Department bulletin giving the all-clear, once all investigations are finished.

:satire:

[gopiscrap]

1. the wierd thing about it is that:

this a mutated rat form, they're all two legged rats

[Stuart G]

3. RATS...??? you mean a new bread? the session rats? and th drumpf rats?

Say it ain't so? So soon that the rats are leaving the sinking ship? as was once said............

When will they ever learn?

[gopiscrap]

4. this breed has been around for a long time

usually they stay hidden under rocks, but a rare electoral disorder called cheating enabled them to venture out into the sunshine

[TexasProgresive]

5. Rattus Drumpfus- a new subspecies of rattus.

Their food of choice are the fresh greenbacks of poor and middle class people. The King Rattus Drumpfus can be IDed by his long red tail and small front paws. He also makes an odd pursing expression with his lips that looks like a flute glass. The King Rattus Drumpfus covers all his droppings with gold paint to hide his true identity.

Disclaimer: really bad parody, maybe someone will enjoy.

[still_one]

2. Thanks MM, I think it is time to call in The Pied Piper of Hamelin, to take care of the rats

[Hekate]

8. Just remember to pay the piper afterwards, and don't stiff the contractor like Trump does!

[peggysue2]

6. hahaha!

The rats, diseased or otherwise, are looking for the exits and the best law firms. Legal eagles are in for a windfall, bigly.

You couldn't write this stuff up as fiction because no reader would suspend disbelief. One must conclude the Trump & Co. never believed the CIA or NSA were very good at intelligence and/or communication intercepts. And then, there's our European allies with their ears to the rails. No wonder Trump wants to dump NATO--fewer eyes and ears on the pickpockets and traitors.

Frigging unbelievable!

[meow2u3]

7. Are the rats infesting DC on four legs or two?

[ismnotwasm]

9. Reminds me of my favorite scenes from Kill Bill Volume 1

[pinboy3niner]

10. Metro Police just reported another sighting near the White House...