Onion: Trump Unveils New Presidential Retreat Where He Can Escape From Stresses Of Mar-A-Lago

[Miles Archer]

Trump Unveils Sprawling New Presidential Retreat Where He Can Escape From Stresses Of Mar-A-Lago



http://www.theonion.com/article/trump-unveils-sprawling-new-presidential-retreat-w-55646

ST. THOMAS, U.S. VIRGIN ISLANDS—Speaking Wednesday from the grounds of the lavish tropical estate where he plans to spend much of his downtime while in office, Donald Trump unveiled a new presidential retreat he hopes will allow him to escape from the grueling pace of life at Mar-a-Lago.

With its sunny climate, secluded setting, and luxurious accommodations, the 45-acre Caribbean hideaway known as Isola Vista—which sits on a pristine white-sand beach along the island of St. Thomas’ southern coast—will reportedly serve as a haven where the president can find respite from his five-star Palm Beach, FL resort and its many day-to-day pressures.

“After a while, all that time spent at Mar-a-Lago starts to take a toll,” Trump said of the relentless routine of recreation and extravagance he experiences at his oceanfront Florida club. “I’m there so much that sometimes I just need to get away and clear my head. Here in St. Thomas I’ll have a place where I can simply relax and, for a little while at least, forget about all those headaches I left behind in Palm Beach.”

Added the president, “A few days in the Caribbean should be all I need to feel refreshed and ready to get right back to the usual grind of Mar-a-Lago.”

[Bucky]

1. and to get away from the stress of life at Isola Vista, he's going to Gilligan's Island

Where he is able to be both the Millionare and Ginger

(but grabs Mary Ann any time he wants to and she never sues him)

[FakeNoose]

2. They heard he cheats at golf

[Eliot Rosewater]

3. Millionaire and Ginger

[caroldansen]

4. It's a diversion. He hates the press remember. Anyone meeting with him and then flying off

somewhere in a large or small plane, whether a valet, waiter, window washer, Kushner, his wife etc. just might be going to another island bank, that someone might have a bank account there under a fake name to avoid paying taxes on. If someone meets with trump and then flies somewhere even for a few hours, it could be to a bank that's considered outside the United States. Why would trump give such an easy, informative and Nice interview to the press unless a diversion?