NYT's Gail Collins: Our Political Black Hole (hilarious read)

[Scuba]

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/07/opinion/our-political-black-hole.html?ref=opinion

WOLFEBORO, N.H. — Mitt Romney today denounced Barack Obama for allowing Europe to beat the United States at particle physics research. Under his administration, Romney vowed, “All particles that bind the earth together will be discovered in America, by Americans and for Americans.” Under questioning from reporters, Romney said that his favorite kind of subatomic particle is the fermion.

SOMEWHERE ON A BUS — Speaking to a crowd of blue-collar workers in Ohio, President Barack Obama hailed the scientific news from Geneva as “a great moment in history, not unlike my rescue of the auto industry.” The physicists who made the discovery, Obama noted, all had health insurance.

...

WOLFEBORO, N.H. — Mitt Romney said today that when he called for an American effort to beat the Europeans in particle physics research, he did not actually mean spending money to build a supercollider, but merely “the need for our physicists to think harder.” The Republican presidential contender said he believed this could be accomplished by “the elimination of onerous, physics-research-killing regulations.”

JUST OUTSIDE OF WOLFEBORO, N.H. — Protesters today passed out cartoons of Mitt Romney with a large, cuddly looking Higgs boson strapped to a crate on the front of his jet ski.

[Kolesar]

1. Don't miss the comments section!

Diana MosesArlington, MA
If we can only detect the Higgs boson indirectly and not get a direct look at it, how will it ever be able to vote in an election here, if it can't produce a picture ID?
July 6, 2012 at 10:18 p.m.

lesothomanNew York, The Higgs boson is the cosmic molasses that binds together that mess atop Donald Trump's head. Unfortunately, the strong radiation it emits blocks the functioning of the Donald's brain.
July 7, 2012 at 9:14 a.m.

Gary BabadQueens,
But Mr. Trump demanded that the Higgs bison first produce its birth certificate before going on the show.
July 7, 2012 at 9:14 a.m.

Gary MeyerReno,
Cosmic Molasses would be a great name for a rock band.
July 7, 2012 at 9:32 a.m.

NAJMassachusetts
Gail, you outdid yourself! Thank you.

As for the boson and our failure to build the supercollider, there's an irony here. Those who are most vorceiferous in talking about American exceptionalism are making us less exceptional.