"You have Hepatitus A and C" News from the Health Care Front
OK...here is my most recent health care story. I am lucky enough to have health care. I had a blood test two weeks ago to screen me for bugs and stuff.
I got a call back from the Dr's office "You have Hepatitus A and C".
I told them I'd had shots for A and B when I went to Africa. No matter, those don't work all the time.
So, the Dr. asks me to drop everything and come in for more tests and to check my liver function. I went in and I'll admit I was sort of freaking out. I had a heart attack less than a month ago and that has been scary enough. Now I have Hep A and C on top of it? Yikes. Panic. Stress.
(Did you know woodchucks carry hepatitus? That was something I learned about it).
So Monday I get a letter from the Dr. "You don't have Hep A or Hep C." I rejoice! I'm so happy! I read on: "You have Hep B". Drat. Fear. F#*$ing woodchucks. I go home and I read up on Hep B. I want to be upset but at least I don't have A and C. The Dr asks me to come in for a whole new set of tests with a liver doctor.
So I was sort of up and down, sorta depressed, kinda confused... maybe starting a mid-life crisis (Jeeeez...I've suddenly become awfully fragile).
Three letters from my health insurance today. I was terrified of what horror they were going to surprise me with now. (You have lupus and leprosy today!) So I just left the letters and puttered around the house, tried not to think of it all. Tried not to hate woodchucks.
I finally opened the letters. Two were questionaires about how satisfied I was with my recent office visits (what was I going to write? "I'm really glad you were wrong about my terrifying Hep C test"?) The third letter was from my doctor. "Good News! You don't have hepatitus B!"
And I'm so relieved I can't be mad about it. Three terrible diseases...and three miracle cures.
Isn't modern medicine grand?
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........................Don't forget your condoms!11!
that cracked me up