How to prepare for a nuclear attack

[L. Coyote]

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2163824/world-war-three-nuclear-attack-survival-guide/

......

What to do before a nuclear blast?

The following are things experts recommend you can do to protect yourself, your family and your home if you believe an attack is imminent.

Build an Emergency Supply Kit, which includes items like non-perishable food, water, a battery-powered or hand-crank radio, extra flashlights and batteries. You may want to prepare a kit for your workplace and a portable kit to keep in your car in case you are told to evacuate.
Make a Family Emergency Plan. Your family may not be together when disaster strikes, so it is important to know how you will contact one another, how you will get back together and what you will do in case of an emergency.
Find out from officials if any public buildings in your community have been designated as fallout shelters. If none have been designated, make your own list of potential shelters. These places would include basements or the windowless central area of middle floors in high-rise buildings.

What to do during a nuclear blast?

................

Kiss your arse goodbye!

[Orrex]

1. I plan to climb on the roof and work on my tan once and for all

[lunatica]

11. LOL!

[edbermac]

2. I'll be singing this song...

vimeo.com/9771068

[hunter]

3. It'll be my fucking bad luck that a dud missed-its-target bomb crashes into my backyard...

... and the plutonium dust I inhale knocks a decade or three off the century I might have lived.

[maryellen99]

4. Since you mentioned a British paper, The Brits had those creepy Protect and Survive PSAs

Here's one-the end music is creepy as hell

[Doreen]

12. How bloody cheery.

[maryellen99]

16. There's a whole bunch of them

They were only to be shown 24-48 hours before if an attack was imminent. The purpose of these was to give the public something to do so they wouldn't panic or riot.

[Doreen]

22. 24-48 hours? That sure as hell does not give you much time to do anything BUT panic.

[maryellen99]

23. They also had the manual as well that you could get at anytime

I goofed on the time it was to be shown it was 72 hours out.

[Doreen]

27. More time to panic and yell at the husband for forgetting to get the manual at

the grocery store when he went there for you on Tuesday.

[niyad]

5. the last line is the only reasonable preparation.

at least they didn't do the duct tape and plastic nonsense.

[ProudLib72]

6. I'll be in the back yard with a catcher's mitt

Instant evaporation is preferable to slow radiation poisoning any day. I'll also be flipping off tRump with my non-mitted hand.

[Warpy]

13. That's my idea, only it will be my comfy chair

and a footstool so I can watch the show in comfort. I'm just far enough away from the target that the blast might not get me but the flash burns will. It will be slower than vaporization but not by a hell of a lot.

I have no interest in surviving into a world full of survivalist nutcases and other rugged individualists with guns and no brains.

[ProudLib72]

14. So long as you don't have a catcher's mitt

If this goes down and I find out you stole my idea, there'll be hell to pay afterward!

[hamsterjill]

15. I live in Texas, and I'm taking at least one asshole Trump supporter with me.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. If it comes to this, I'm taking one of them with me.

[ProudLib72]

17. Nukes don't discriminate

You can just point at them and tell them they did this. The nuke will take care of the rest.

[hamsterjill]

19. I want one sitting next to me.

Because the last thing that person is going to hear is me telling him/her that THIS is what he/she caused by voting for Trump.

People who voted for Trump are not innocent in my mind. Not when my life and the lives of my family and friends are put in jeopardy by their stupidity.

[Orsino]

7. I'm calling it Stupid October.

Because there aren't going to be any missiles, and everyone involved is so stupid they don't even know what month it is.

[C_U_L8R]

8. A message from civilian defense

[DinahMoeHum]

30. +1000s. Yep, I think I still have this one. . .

[smirkymonkey]

9. Duck and Cover

[peggysue2]

18. Yes!

Straight from my childhood, a grim reminder. It was only years later I realized we would have been Crispy Critters hiding beneath our desks. A 20th century turn on Pompeii, I guess.

Whatever's old made new again.

[MyNameGoesHere]

10. I prefer the bend over as far as i can

And kiss my ass goodbye method of surviving.

[Zoonart]

26. YEP!

[cloudbase]

20. Go fishing.

[oasis]

25. Lol

[Time2Evolve]

21. the moment tump was elected i knew that this wan an all too real possibility..

ive decided to live it up this summer, we may not be here for the next one.

[maryellen99]

24. I'm starting to think we won't make it to the end of the year nt

[L. Coyote]

29. If they can just start the end times, they get to rise to heaven to be with God.

I think that is a close approximation of the prevailing religious viewpoint.

Oh yeah, and that is only the few good, special, white ones, the rest of us get to burn in hell forever.

[sarisataka]

28. Stock up on Twinkies

The roaches will trade them like cigarettes in prison...

[montana_hazeleyes]

33. Bwaaaahhaaaaaa!

[brooklynite]

31. FEMA defines the same guidelines for a Zombie Apocalypse...

https://www.fema.gov/blog/2011-05-19/cdc-preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse

FWIW - aside from special facilities for Government officials, there are no longer active fallout shelters.

[stonecutter357]

32. K&R Drills to Prepare Children for Nuclear Emergency - Civil Defense Training Drills - 1950s

[defacto7]

34. To put a slightly serious face on a great thread...

It wouldn't hurt to prepare for fallout. That's what most of us will have to deal with, not the blast. This isn't going to be Russia, China and the US pummeling each other it would more likely be localized. So fallout circling the globe would be the problem. We can make some preparations to minimize the exposure.
Eat kelp for iodine ???. Listen to broadcasts that give the location of the fallout material or follow the jet stream winds aloft and stay inside when/if it passes (multiple times).
Global annihilation is not the point here. More likely some major disruptions and contamination.
IF something happens it doesn't hurt to have a plan.