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Initech

(100,081 posts)
Wed Aug 9, 2017, 05:01 PM Aug 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-9: 2 Fiery 2 Furious Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-9: 2 Fiery 2 Furious Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Be sure to ask about our special low monthly payment plans and 1.9% APR financing with special cashback options! Not available in all states, limited time only. We are back everybody! Holy fuck what a week it's been for conservative idiocy! From Trump threatening nuclear armageddon, to the FBI raiding Paul Manafort's home, to Trump's comment about the "Local Milk People", to Hollywood proving that people will pay money to go see anything, to Google firing a disciple of Pepe The Frog, to Usher getting sued for *NOT* giving someone herpes! Yes that happened! So let's liven things up and start by talking about cats. Now I unfortunately am not a cat person - and I know this is the internet. What? I know my audience! But this week, it’s the return of the annual cat convention in Pasadena, California – otherwise known as Cat Con. So last year’s Cat Con 2016 may have been a rager, but Cat Con 2017 promises to be even bigger! I mean there’s cat celebrities. Wait, what? Yes – cat celebrities are a thing that exists, much like dog celebrities. There's meet and greets with famous cats! For $100 a piece! Just... WTF!!! But you know the biggest difference is that the cat celebrities use the litter box, where the dog celebrities have their owners pick up their poop for them. Thank you I’m here all week! Don’t forget to tip your waitress! But the cat people are out to disprove the existence of the “crazy cat lady”. You know – like this!



So getting back to Cat Con 2017 (motto: now with twice the meows!), there’s all kinds of crazy cat products out there – such as the Meow-gical box where I’m assuming you perform the saw the cat in half trick. Don’t try that at home. But the one area of Cat Con that I’m most interested in is the meet and greet with Julie Newmar – the original Catwoman from the 1966 Batman TV show. Now pair her with Anne Hathaway – who was Selina Kyle, AKA Catwoman, in The Dark Knight Rises, Halle Berry who was Catwoman in the 2003 flick, and Cameron Bicondava, who plays Selina Kyle in Gotham – and that would be very interesting to see! Because, cats! OK enough of the intro. But first John Oliver is back and he finds out something very shocking about America’s border patrol – it’s a giant nothing burger!



God where do we begin this week? Premier Trump is taking up the first 3 slots this week. I originally had a much different entry planned for #1, but we have to talk about how war with North Korea is looking like it’s inevitable with Trump (1) at the helm. In the second slot we’re going to talk about the first ever Trump Family Vacation. And he took a vacation from golfing and tweeting, by well, golfing and tweeting. His tweets are getting so insane it's impossible to keep up. Taking the third slot again is Donald Trump (3). So in case you haven’t noticed, state run television – a favorite staple of third world dictators – may be coming to the US faster than you would expect. So we’re going to talk about Trump TV. In the fourth slot is Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick (4). Yeah we previously covered him under “People Who Somehow Got Elected” but wait until you see why he’s in the news this week! Holy shit! In slot number 5 is the Alt Right (5). We’ve got a lot of Alt Right news to cover this week including 4chan’s scam against Starbucks, Richard Spencer holding yet another Nazi KKK rally in Virginia, Google’s insane diversity controversy, and Stephen Miller possibly becoming the next WH communications director. In the number 6 slot, we’re going to try a new segment – and this segment is simply called “Holy Shit!”. Because religious fundamentalists are taking over at an alarming rate. Last week, we did a deep dive on Justin Beiber’s Hillsong Church. This week, we’re doing a deep dive on the religious cabal inside the Trump White House. Plus Pat Robertson, holy shit. Taking the number 7 slot is the CEO of Murray Energy – Bob Murray. Remember that John Oliver segment about coal a couple months ago? Well… guess what? Murray sued John Oliver, and last week the briefing from the opening statement of the trial was released today. And it is a gem. At number 8 – we’ve got another installment of “How Is This Still A Thing?”. And we’re going to ask – “Hating Colin Kaepernick – How is this still a thing?” In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got another installment of “People Are Dumb” (9) because there’s a lot of stupid fucking people out there, and we’ve got some crazy stories this week! And we will end this week with the next leg of our World Tour 2017, and this week we’re going to the land of indulgence – the home of absinthe, waffles, chocolate, and of course the best beer known to man – Belgium! Plus we have some live music for you coming from Portugal The Man. I saw these guys live recently, holy crap they are amazing. And if you don’t have their new album “Woodstock” already, you’re no friend of this show. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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OK before the events of yesterday I originally had a much different entry planned. We were going to make fun of Donald Trump’s comment about Local Milk People. I even had a bit where I compared it to the rebooted Planet Of The Apes franchise. Rise Of The Planet Of The Local Milk People. And by the way if there's not an indie band called "Local Milk People" forming tomorrow I will have lost all faith in the internet. But we cannot ignore the severity of what’s going on right now – and it would be beneath me to hold off on something this fucking huge until next week. Trump is very close to unleashing holy Armageddon on the world. Yes. You read that right.

North Korea said on Wednesday it is "carefully examining" a plan to strike the U.S. Pacific territory of Guam with missiles, just hours after U.S. President Donald Trump told the North that any threat to the United States would be met with "fire and fury".

A spokesman for the Korean People's Army, in a statement carried by the North's state-run KCNA news agency, said the strike plan will be "put into practice in a multi-current and consecutive way any moment" once leader Kim Jong Un makes a decision.

In another statement citing a different military spokesman, North Korea also said it could carry out a pre-emptive operation if the United States showed signs of provocation.

Earlier Pyongyang said it was ready to give Washington a "severe lesson" with its strategic nuclear force in response to any U.S. military action.

Read more: https://www.cnbc.com/2017/08/08/north-korea-seriously-considering-strike-on-guam-reports-citing-state-media.html




Calm the fuck down. We’re not going to die just yet. Sure, we have two man babies with giant missiles and extremely fragile egos the size of Texas and Alaska combined at the helm. How did this happen? How did we get to the brink of war? Well it’s no secret that Trump surrounds himself with yes men, in fact this story recently surfaced:

Twice a day since the beginning of the Trump administration, a special folder is prepared for the president. The first document is prepared around 9:30 a.m. and the follow-up, around 4:30 p.m. Former Chief of Staff Reince Priebus and former Press Secretary Sean Spicer both wanted the privilege of delivering the 20-to-25-page packet to President Trump personally, White House sources say.

These sensitive papers, described to VICE News by three current and former White House officials, don’t contain top-secret intelligence or updates on legislative initiatives. Instead, the folders are filled with screenshots of positive cable news chyrons (those lower-third headlines and crawls), admiring tweets, transcripts of fawning TV interviews, praise-filled news stories, and sometimes just pictures of Trump on TV looking powerful.

One White House official said the only feedback the White House communications shop, which prepares the folder, has ever gotten in all these months is: “It needs to be more fucking positive.” That’s why some in the White House ruefully refer to the packet as “the propaganda document.” ..........................
https://news.vice.com/story/trump-folder-positive-news-white-house




Yes. This is a real thing. So when you’re surrounded by yes men how is it possible that you could have missed this as a warning? I mean shit is about to hit the fan here.

President Donald Trump on Tuesday warned North Korea about facing "fire and fury" if the isolated nation makes more threats to the United States.

"They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen. He has been very threatening ... and I said they will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before," Trump told reporters during what he calls a "working vacation" at his New Jersey golf club.

His comments came hours after revelations Pyongyang has successfully created a miniaturized nuclear weapon designed to fit inside its missiles.

The development raises the stakes for Trump and other world leaders, who already faced difficult and limited options in dealing with North Korea's aggression.

Read more: https://www.cnbc.com/2017/08/08/trump-warns-north-korea-threats-will-be-met-with-fire-and-fury.html




Fire and fury? Is he starting a new movie franchise here? The Fiery And The Furious? And then maybe you could have sequels like 2 Fiery 2 Furious, The Fiery & The Furious: Tokyo Drift, etc. I mean holy shit, the shit is getting real here.

North Korea has successfully produced a miniaturized nuclear warhead that can fit inside its missiles, crossing a key threshold on the path to becoming a full-fledged nuclear power, U.S. intelligence officials have concluded in a confidential assessment.

The new analysis completed last month by the Defense Intelligence Agency comes on the heels of another intelligence assessment that sharply raises the official estimate for the total number of bombs in the communist country’s atomic arsenal. The U.S. calculated last month that up to 60 nuclear weapons are now controlled by North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. Some independent experts believe the number of bombs is much smaller.

The findings are likely to deepen concerns about an evolving North Korean military threat that appears to be advancing far more rapidly than many experts had predicted. U.S. officials last month concluded that Pyongyang is also outpacing expectations in its effort to build an intercontinental ballistic missile capable of striking cities on the American mainland.

While more than a decade has passed since North Korea’s first nuclear detonation, many analysts believed it would be years before the country’s weapons scientists could design a compact warhead that could be delivered by missile to distant targets. But the new assessment, a summary document dated July 28, concludes that this critical milestone has already been reached.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/north-korea-now-making-missile-ready-nuclear-weapons-us-analysts-say/2017/08/08/e14b882a-7b6b-11e7-9d08-b79f191668ed_story.html?utm_term=.4dd87d5328b4


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I mean really… how much worse can things get? If you need sleeping pills and possibly a change of underwear tonight, I fully understand! I might need to do the same! And by the way if we ever did go to war with North Korea, these are the kinds of people who you DON’T want at the helm:

Prince has been advocating for the use of private military contractors in Afghanistan who would train local units, under the supervision of a federal official with fairly broad powers. This would replace the presence of U.S. troops in the country.

When asked by MSNBC’s Ali Velshi if he had ever seen such a plan work somewhere else, Prince responded, “Sure. I mean, I’ve mentioned in that article – and I say, the East India Company. Again, not that I’m advocating for a colonization of Afghanistan. Farthest from it.”

Still, he went on to point to virtues of the East India Company, saying, “We want to prevent terror sanctuary and leave. But when the East India Company operated for 200-plus years, they deployed with that model. One mentor to 20 local troops.”

Prince’s idea isn’t new — he first laid out this plan in a Wall Street Journal article in May, ....................................
https://thinkprogress.org/blackwater-founder-points-to-british-colonization-in-india-as-model-for-u-s-policy-in-afghanistan/




But... have no fear, people!!! Even our Secretary Of State thinks that the strength of our nuclear arsenal means that we shouldn't have a cause for alarm. Yes, you heard that right! Sleep easier at night folks! Never mind that the threat of nuclear war became a very real possibility this week!

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump declared the U.S. nuclear arsenal "far stronger and more powerful than ever before," even as his top diplomat was working to calm the North Korea crisis and insisting there wasn't "any imminent threat."

In a series of early-morning tweets on Wednesday, Trump reaffirmed his threat from a day earlier by reposting video of him warning that Pyongyang would be "met with fire and fury like the world has never seen" if it made more threats to the U.S. Then he said his first order as president had been to "renovate and modernize" the U.S. nuclear arsenal.

It wasn't immediately clear what evidence the president had, if any, to support his claim about the nuclear force. Trump did issue an executive order in his first days in office calling for a review to ensure the U.S. nuclear deterrent is "modern, robust, flexible, resilient, ready" and appropriately tailored for 21st century threats.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/trump-touts-nuke-strength-as-tillerson-urges-calm-on-n-korea/ar-AApLl6t?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartandhp




OK, yeah, maybe we are all gonna die.



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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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We need some appropriate music for this entry.



Oh I love those movies. So Trump is taking a 17 day vacation from the White House. But can we safely say we’re taking a 17 day vacation from Trump? Unfortunately no. Because Trump has been on an insane tweet storm lately. Guess Scaramucci’s plan to take away his phone didn’t work did it? But can we roll tape on this piece from the campaign?



Yup! He actually said that! I mean it’s insane. And what hard work has he done so far? He’s done absolutely nothing but hold Nazi rallies, tweet and golf.

President Trump has hit back at reports that he is on a 17-day vacation at one of his golf resorts.

He tweeted Saturday, "Working in Bedminster, N.J., as long planned construction is being done at the White House. This is not a vacation – meetings and calls!"

While the building is, indeed, undergoing a renovation, much of the criticism about his time away stems from negative comments he has made in the past about former President Obama; for example, in August 2011, Trump tweeted, "@BarackObama played golf yesterday. Now he heads to a 10 day vacation in Martha's Vineyard. Nice work ethic."

Two years later, Trump wrote, "Pres. Obama is about to embark on a 17 day vacation in his 'native' Hawaii, putting Secret Service away from families on Christmas. Aloha!"

He has also previously dismissed his need for such a break, saying while campaigning in 2015, "I would rarely leave the White House because there's so much work to be done. I would not be a president who took vacations. I would not be a president that takes time off."

However, a CBS News analysis found that, after 196 days in office, Trump was away from the White House almost twice the number of days Obama was, spending the bulk of his time at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida.
https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/08/06/trump-insists-his-17-day-bedminster-trip-is-not-a-vacation/23067421/




Yeah someone should have told the Trump family that America’s closed. The moose out front should have told ya. But that didn’t stop Trump from tweeting this week, and boy did he tweet! I guess John Kelly gave up on trying to wrestle his unsecured Android phone away from him!

Newly appointed White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has already accepted that he will not be able to control President Donald Trump’s inflammatory use of Twitter.

Over the past week, media reports have praised Kelly, a retired Marine general, for imposing military discipline on the White House.

“Mr. Kelly cuts off rambling advisers midsentence,” The New York Times reported. “He listens in on conversations between cabinet secretaries and the president. He has booted lingering staff members out of high-level meetings, and ordered the doors of the Oval Office closed to discourage strays.”

According to Bloomberg, Kelly also had high hopes for curbing the president’s use of Twitter.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/chief-of-staff-john-kelly-gives-up-on-trying-to-control-trumps-twitter-after-latest-tweet-spasm-report/




No no no no no no – no need to abandon ship yet! Because we’re just getting started here! Let’s go though a few of these:










Quite ironic isn’t it? The guy who never served a day in combat is going after a guy who served multiple tours in Vietnam. STFU, Donnie! By the way, is it me or is this picture strangely appropriate?



Nobody makes better disasters, OK? I make the best disasters, and I take the biggest dumps! Nobody takes bigger dumps than I do! But getting back on topic – you know Trump insists he’s not on vacation!




So what kind of work is being done on the White House, T? You got any ideas? Do you have any at all?

President Donald Trump tweeted Monday that he was "working hard from New Jersey while [the] White House goes through [a] long planned renovation." While the "working hard" part may be up for debate given his empty schedule and appearance at a wedding over the weekend, the portion about construction in the capital is indeed true.

Workers began a $3.4 million project to fix up the White House last week, according to The New York Times. They're expected to improve the air-conditioning system, which the General Services Administration has said is "well past its life cycle and will fail in the near future without intervention," as well as repaint and put in new cables. As of Friday, CNN reported there were already storage units filled with items from the West Wing out near the Eisenhower Executive Office Building.
http://www.newsweek.com/white-house-renovations-trump-vacation-647492




By the way – while Trump was “working hard” (phrasing), he might have accidentally exposed how many Russian bot accounts are following him. This might be my favorite Trump story of the week.

A Twitter account that tweeted support for President Donald Trump on Saturday was rewarded when Trump shared the compliment and replied, "Thank you Nicole!"

But observers quickly noticed something odd about "Nicole": She didn't seem to be real. And by Sunday night, the account was suspended.

The account, which joined Twitter in January with the purported name Nicole Mincey, branded Mincey as a "black pro-Trump conservative" who began a pro-Trump retail empire after becoming disillusioned by former President Barack Obama.

An ad published in the Daily Caller under the byline "PROTRUMP45," the name of the merchandise store Nicole claimed to run, described Mincey as an "African American female from Camden, NJ" who "grew up in poverty" and is "a heartwarming reminder of how big the minority Republican movement really is."
http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-twitter-bot-nicole-protrump45-2017-8





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[font size="8"]Trump TV
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Ooh… ooh you hear that?



Let me try to sing it…. I want my…. I want my… I want my Trump TV!!! He wants the money for nothing and the chicks for free, folks! That is a very creepy thought! So thanks to Sinclair Broadcasting Group, a favorite staple of the active third world dictator may soon be coming to the United States. I’m of course talking about State Run Television. Or SRTV for short. So here’s how this could come about:

The leader of the FCC installed by Donald Trump exploited a loophole to give a pro-Trump propaganda outlet access to millions of American homes they were banned from under Obama.

Sinclair Broadcast Group, the network of local TV stations that has operated as a pro-Donald Trump propaganda system, had a major expansion of its power enabled by the Trump administration’s stooges at the Federal Communications Commission.

FCC Chairman Ajit Pai, a Republican appointed by Trump, used a loophole called the “UHF discount” to let Sinclair increase its portfolio of over 170 stations with 42 stations from Tribune Media. Many of the new stations, which will now be forced to air the “must-run” pro-Trump propaganda segments other Sinclair stations now broadcast, are located in major cities like New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles.

Before the Trump assist, Sinclair was not in as many large cities, with the power to target millions more Americans in states that didn’t vote for Trump in 2016.
http://shareblue.com/trump-rigged-the-fcc-to-broadcast-trump-tv-into-nearly-every-american-home/


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! By the way, in case you forgot how full of shit Sinclair Broadcasting is, can we show John Oliver’s piece from a couple of months ago?

&t=726s

Yeah so Sinclair is full of shit folks! I mean stunningly full of shit! And there’s more about this and it’s scarier than you would think.

Sinclair Broadcast Group isn't looking to challenge Fox News' position as the leading conservative voice in cable news, but the country's largest television station operator's latest acquisition could at least trigger a major shift in the local TV news landscape.

Chris Ripley, CEO of Hunt Valley, Md.-based Sinclair, told Variety in a new cover story that his company has no current plans to launch a national cable news channel that might compete with right-leaning Fox News, even though Sinclair had considered that very idea within the past few years. "Our strength is local news," he told Variety. "The market for national cable news is very well served."

Local news is more than just Sinclair's strength. The company's recent agreement to pay $3.9 billion for Tribune Media would give Sinclair control of more than 200 local TV stations, reaching roughly 72% of the television-owning households. In the words of Variety, the Tribune Media deal, which still requires approval from federal regulators, would turn Sinclair into "a broadcast colossus the likes of which the industry has never seen." (Interestingly, Fox News-parent company 21st Century Fox was also rumored to be kicking the tires on a Tribune Media deal before Sinclair pulled the trigger.)
http://fortune.com/2017/07/25/sinclair-broadcasting-tribune-local-tv/


By the way – in case you’re wondering what passes for this bullshit, I give you this:



Yes that’s the actual piece that John Oliver quoted. Holy shit. But this blurs the line from real news into real propaganda real quick. Real news, real propaganda. What’s the difference?

Kayleigh McEnany, who has been plying her trade as a pro-Trump pundit on CNN for a while, jumped ship to the Trump Team over the weekend. And Sunday, she debuted a Trump TV segment that she labeled the “real news.”

It is real spin, at best. And it feels a lot like real propaganda — or state TV.

In her first 90-second segment, McEnany makes a number of questionable claims, most notably about the credit President Trump deserves for continued strong economic growth. Below, I've transcribed the whole segment, with some reality checks interjected.

Hey, everybody. I'm Kayleigh McEnany. Thank you for joining us as we provide the news of the week from Trump Tower here in New York. More great economic news on Friday: The July jobs report added a better-than-expected 209,000 new jobs. Overall, since the president took office, President Trump has created more than 1 million new jobs, the unemployment rate is at a 16-year low, and consumer confidence is at a 16-year high — all while the Dow Jones continues to break records. President Trump has clearly steered the economy back in the right direction.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/08/07/trump-tvs-real-news-sounds-more-like-real-propaganda/?utm_term=.195abdb0e37b




I like this one! So the US government officially gets republican sponsored state run television. Come on, it’s only their wet dream – no more of that spooky liberal media with their facts and their fact checking. Think of it like Fandango buying Rotten Tomatoes – Fandango will promote the movies that are heavily favored by Rotten Tomatoes to get you to see them over less favored movies – oh wait, that actually really did happen! But guess what? Trump allowed this to happen!

Sinclair Broadcast Group is expanding its conservative-leaning television empire into nearly three-quarters of American households — but its aggressive takeover of the airwaves wouldn’t have been possible without help from President Donald Trump's chief at the Federal Communications Commission.

Sinclair, already the nation’s largest TV broadcaster, plans to buy 42 stations from Tribune Media in cities such as New York, Chicago and Los Angeles, on top of the more than 170 stations it already owns. It got a critical assist this spring from Republican FCC Chairman Ajit Pai, who revived a decades-old regulatory loophole that will keep Sinclair from vastly exceeding federal limits on media ownership.

The change will allow Sinclair — a company known for injecting "must run" conservative segments into its local programming — to reach 72 percent of U.S. households after buying Tribune’s stations. That’s nearly double the congressionally imposed nationwide audience cap of 39 percent.
http://www.politico.com/story/2017/08/06/trump-fcc-sinclair-broadcast-expansion-241337





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[font size="8"]Dan Patrick
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In Idiots #2-10, we profiled Dan Patrick in “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. But now that it’s been many months since we debuted that segment, Dan Patrick has crossed the line into full blown fucking evil. There’s evil, there’s stupid, and then there’s Dan Patrick who takes both to whole new extremes. You know that whole insane war against sanctuary cities that the GOP is waging right now? Yeah Patrick basically admitted it's about republicans bullying democrats and putting democrats in their place. Behind door #1:

Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick dropped the façade Friday. It turns out that the Texas Republican leadership’s war on cities is not just about local taxes, anti-discrimination policies, or sanctuary cities. These policy battles are a partisan fight to erase the last bastion of Democratic control—the big cities of Texas.

On Varney & Co., a week-day talk show on the Fox Business Network, Patrick touted the national gains Republicans made in state legislatures and governor’s offices during the Obama administration. “During Obama’s reign, almost a thousand Democrats were defeated running for the local state Houses and state Senate and governors and lieutenant governors. In fact, out of the 45 lieutenant governors, which I am one of, of course, 32 are Republicans,” Patrick said. “We own the turf state by state, and Texas leads the way. We set the conservative example that other states follow.”

Then, answering an unrelated question from host Stuart Varney, Patrick casted the policy debates between the states and the cities as a partisan fight between Republicans and Democrats:

“People are happy with their governments at the state level. They’re not with their cities. By the way, Stuart, there’s something going on that you really need to focus on. And that is, our cities are still controlled by Democrats. Where do we have all our problems in America? Not at the state level, run by Republicans, but in our cities that are mostly controlled by Democrat mayors and Democrat city councilmen and women. That’s where you see liberal policies, that’s where you see high taxes, where you see high street crimes. Look at New York, look at Chicago, look at…go around the country. So the only place Democrats have control of is our cities and they’re doing a terrible job.”
http://www.texasmonthly.com/burka-blog/dan-patrick-admits-fight-cities-partisan/




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You know they wont stop until they get it all folks. They don’t just hate liberalism, they want it erased from memory! Like as if they’re using the neuralizer from Men In Black. And this is the part in the Bond movie where the evil villain has just revealed his nefarious plot to take over the world. Here’s part of how just fucking insane and evil Dan Patrick is.

Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, in a TV interview with Fox News on Tuesday, pinned the deaths of 10 undocumented immigrants who were found inside a tractor-trailer in San Antonio on “Democrat policies.”

Patrick called the case “a horrendous tragedy that should never happen in America,” but blamed the “Democrat policies of today, of an open border and sanctuary cities (that) allows and enables these drug smugglers – who don’t care about human life – to put people in this horrific situation.”

Patrick’s statements run counter to long-running arguments made by immigration reform advocates, who say the nation’s cumbersome and restrictive immigration policies encourage such smuggling efforts.

It’s at least the second time in three days that Patrick has made the controversial claim.

Read more: http://www.statesman.com/news/local/interview-dan-patrick-blames-democrats-for-immigrant-deaths-san-antonio/iL0JDV7C9HIZsp3Fp49LbP/




By the way, you want to annoy a conservative? I give you this. You know how they have that cute sounding bumper sticker that says "Annoy a liberal - work hard and be happy!". Well I want to counter that with - "Annoy a conservative, correct them when they call it the "Democrat Party". " It's DEMOCRATIC party, morons! You sound fucking stupid when you call it the "democrat party"! But that wasn’t Dan Patrick at his best or his most evil. Remember that bathroom bill from the last one? Well he’s still at it. And yes, republicans, once again we have to remind you that Jedi Mind Tricks do not work in real life!

AUSTIN -- For most of the week, religious leaders on both sides of the bathroom bill debate have taken to the steps of the Texas Capitol to debate whether the legislation is discriminatory against people.

Now comes a fresh response from Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, who used a YouTube video released late yesterday to register his thoughts.

"It does not discriminate against anyone," Patrick said in a YouTube clip just over a minute long. "It's simply common sense, common decency and public safety to protect the women of the state of Texas."

Patrick said Senate Bill 3 is meant to protect privacy.
http://www.chron.com/news/politics/texas/article/Dan-Patrick-says-bathroom-bill-not-discrimination-11734142.php




Oh bullshit! How can you be protecting privacy when you’re basically inviting the TSA to inspect people’s genitals when they walk into a bathroom? GTFO out of government and go back to radio! I mean really did you know he has a weird obsession with George Soros? I wish this were an Onion headline!

A spectre is haunting Texas — the spectre of Soros. Let’s talk for a minute about how to use political rhetoric responsibly, shall we? For most of the last decade it’s been a cinch for Texas Republicans to rile up their base, because around every corner lurked the shadow of Barry Obama, poised to take your guns, teach your kids how to hit a bong and force cowboys to kiss each other. Every fundraising email and speech warned of this dark menace. And then, one day, he was gone.

Texas Republicans could either end the fear-mongering or find a new boogeyman, and you can guess which option they chose. The new enemy of our Lone Star volk is an 86-year-old Hungarian-American billionaire named George Soros, who has inherited Obama’s so-far failing plot to make Texas a gayer, more gunless state. (California.)
https://www.texasobserver.org/greg-abbott-ted-cruz-dan-patricks-obsession-george-soros-weird-kind-dangerous/





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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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Probably the creepiest member of the Trump cabal is the guy who’s been hiding in the shadows most of the time, and is now about to come into the spotlight is White House policy advisor, Alt Right darling, and part time Sad Minion, Stephen Miller. Yeah you could say he’s Bane or Hannibal Lecter without the mask. And yes, he did remind us to put the lotion in the basket. So here’s what is happening:

A reader asked us to fact-check a recent debate between CNN correspondent Jim Acosta and White House senior policy adviser Stephen Miller during the Aug. 2, 2017, White House briefing. The Fact Checker is not a media critic, and we generally do not fact-check members of the media — certainly not the opinions of individual journalists.

But this contentious exchange, which went on for seven minutes, contained some assertions that are relevant to the current immigration debate. Let’s look at three key moments, and whether they got their facts right.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2017/08/08/fact-checking-the-stephen-miller-jim-acosta-exchange-on-immigration/?utm_term=.66acbab93462




I like that one. But really, all joking aside, the Alt Right (motto: no, we’re not Nazis!) – who, a few months ago held that bizarre KKK rally in Virginia, are about to go back to Charlottesville for Round 2: Die Harder. Although I’m not sure if AirBNB is doing a service here, or adding more fuel to the Cake Wars:

In anticipation of a white supremacist rally scheduled for this Saturday in Charlottesville, Virginia, Airbnb has started deactivating accounts of people it believes are booking units to host gatherings related to the rally.

The rally is going to be attended in part by staff from neo-Nazi website The Daily Stormer, which among other things has a section called "Jewish Problem" and frequently uses racial slurs. Airbnb suspects that several of its units were booked in relation to the gathering.

Airbnb said in a statement to BuzzFeed News it established community rules in 2016 that "make good on our mission of belonging" and that "those who are members of the Airbnb community accept people regardless of their race, religion, national origin, ethnicity, disability, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, or age."

The Airbnb Community Commitment is something signed by all people using the service, Airbnb said, and the company is removing people from the platform who are "antithetical" to this policy. They added that they are able to find these users who violate the policy "through our background check" and the "input of our community."
Read more: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mbvd/airbnb-is-deactivating-accounts-of-people-trying-to-attend?utm_term=.lsjG0wr14#.qi4y6wA8q


Can we show that poster?




Holy fuck! Worst headlining festival ever, by the way. And look at all the Nazi imagery that’s being put on display here! I hope you can get foil printed versions of that at the merch booth! And by the way if you’re looking for something to wear to this rally, I give you this:

A clothing company is apparently so interested in pushing the boundaries of fashion, it’s tried to make the swastika a “symbol of love and peace.” That declaration, though, has been met with massive resistance online.

K A Designs tried to push the narrative that it was reclaiming the swastika by explaining that it’s a 5,000-year-old symbol that was once associated with peace, love, and life until the Nazis turned it into a marker of hate.

“They stigmatized the swastika forever,” K A explained in its video. “They won. They limited our freedom. Or maybe not? The swastika is coming back, together with peace, together with love, together with respect, together with freedom.”

Then, it introduced a rainbow-colored swastika that could be printed on shirts, promoting love, peace, zen, and freedom.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/whats-hot/this-clothing-company-is-facing-massive-backlash-for-trying-to-reclaim-the-swastika/ar-AApDoT0?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartandhp


Let’s show that – this is real – I am not making this up!



What marketing genius thought this up? How… who… what…where… when… you know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of that scene in Clerks 2 when Randal makes a racial slur and gets chewed out by Wanda Sykes, only to respond with “it’s cool, we’re taking it back!”.




But now the Alt Right has become the social justice warriors they claim to hate. You know we here at the Top 10 have been keeping track of all the Trump fan boycotts since the election, and I believe that this makes number 620. That’s a conservative estimate. Their target? Google.

Google fired a software engineer yesterday in response to public outrage over the man’s 10-page screed against women being represented proportionally in tech companies. But the firing has become a call-to-arms for alt-right voices on the internet who are crowdfunding money for the engineer, James Damore, and are now calling for a boycott of Google.

The calls for a boycott have gained steam on Twitter, where names like Mike Cernovich, Michael Tracey, and Paul Joseph Watson have joined the chorus of people with usernames like CNNisRetarded, TheMuddyCuck, and Grammar Nawtsy in being angered by what they call “diversity crybullies.”

Some of the calls to boycott the tech giant refer to getting “red pilled,” a term popular in alt-right circles for when people see reality clearly. The term comes from the 1999 sci-fi film The Matrix, where the hero takes a red pill to see the real world around him. In this case, alt-right activists believe that getting red-pilled means you can see the misandry inherent in Google’s decision to fire the engineer.

More: http://gizmodo.com/rip-chantek-the-signing-orangutan-who-was-just-like-us-1797630955


Aw, poor little snowflakes need their precious safe spaces?



So this guy got fired from Google for his sexist manifesto. And now he’s an overnight Alt Right celebrity. You know people like this guy are why we can’t have nice things. And by the way, nothing good ever comes from having a manifesto does it?

Google has fired an employee who wrote an internal memo attacking the company's diversity policies — a move that has instantly turned the author into a hero of the right and threatens to ignite a Silicon Valley culture war.

The memo argued that Google should focus on "ideological diversity," and criticised its efforts to increase gender and racial diversity, suggesting biological differences may be the reason for disparities in hiring in the tech industry.

"We need to stop assuming that gender gaps imply sexism," the author wrote.

The author, James Damore, was subsequently fired, : "To suggest a group of our colleagues have traits that make them less biologically suited to that work is offensive and not OK."

But the Damore's departure from Google isn't the end of this story. His memo and the action taken against him is being held up by many on the right as an example of alleged censorship and the purported dangers of "political correctness."

A few examples: Breitbart, the far-right news site, is currently leading with the story, writing that "witch hunts are a well-known cultural problem" at Google and that "psychologicsts claim [the] manifesto [is] scientifically accurate."

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-right-is-coming-out-in-support-of-the-fired-author-of-the-google-manifesto/ar-AApHRTe?li=BBnbcA1&ocid=edgsp


These idiots think of diversity the same way that Ron Burgundy does in the first Anchorman movie:



And guess who emerged from his troll cave to offer support? Yup – you guessed it!

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - The male Google engineer fired for circulating a memo decrying the company's diversity hiring program became the center of a heated debate on sexism, drawing scorn, cheers and even a job offer on Tuesday from WikiLeaks publisher Julian Assange.

James Damore confirmed his dismissal from Alphabet Inc's Google on Monday, after he wrote a 10-page memo that the company was hostile to conservative viewpoints shaped by a flawed left-wing ideology.

The manifesto was quickly embraced by some, particularly on the political right, branding him a brave truth-teller. Others found his views, which argued that men in general may be biologically more suited to coding jobs than women, offensive.

Assange, who is praised in some circles for exposing government secrets and castigated by others as an underminer of some nations' security, offered Damore a job.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-google-diversity-idUSKBN1AO1WY




By the way – the alt right really has a weird obsession with Starbucks don’t they? I mean remember that stunt back last November when the idiots tried to get baristas to write their name as Trump? Well, now they’re setting up ICE traps at Starbucks with the promise of free coffee:

You might have seen it: A “Dreamer Day” ad that states “all undocumented Americans will receive any item on the Starbucks menu 40% off” on Aug. 11. Except there’s a problem: There’s no such thing as “Dreamer Day” at the coffee chain.

The idea is a hoax, spread on the internet in an attempt to trick undocumented Americans into outing their citizenship status at their local Starbucks.

BuzzFeed News reveals that the idea came from 4chan, after posters on the board /pol/ kicked around an “Undocumented Immigrant Day” for Starbucks. According to an archived thread, the plan was to “name a liberal place for all illegals to go at once and demand free stuff.” Another poster suggested calling ICE, essentially deporting immigrants so it would “cripple their business a bit.”

“We have to get ICE involved if we get it rolling,” another poster wrote. “Where else do these faggot liberals hang out?”
https://www.dailydot.com/irl/starbucks-dreamer-day-hoax/


There’s only one appropriate answer for that extremely horrible question:





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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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There’s a lot of religious fundamentalists in the news lately. And they're all certifiably insane. So it’s time to introduce our new segment:



I have to say I love the poop emoji with the halo over it. That will introduce my next segment. Would you be surprised at all to learn that the religious people who Trump has *PRAYING* with him in the White House are just as batshit fucking insane as he is? And the people who the president has invited are well, as crazy as he is!

News from the Christian Broadcasting Network that members of President Trump’s Cabinet are attending Bible study sessions together didn’t come as such a shock in Washington.

The shock was who is teaching them.

That teacher, Pastor Ralph Drollinger, is well known to some members in the California congressional delegation — and not just because he is a 7-foot-1 former UCLA basketball star. He is the evangelical spiritual leader who once counseled a group of Sacramento lawmakers that female politicians with young children have no business serving in the Legislature. In fact, he called them sinners.

Drollinger also declared that Roman Catholicism “is one of the primary false religions in the world” — precipitating his Bible study group’s move out of a suite of offices controlled by then-Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Catholic.
http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-la-pol-trump-cabinet-pastor-20170803-story.html




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Holy shit!!!! Is the whole goal of the Trump administration to invite the most horrible, disgusting people on the planet who shouldn’t be anywhere near government, to be near government? Is this the political form of the Dada art form from the 1920s? In fact these people are so fucking crazy that they’re now literally asking their congregations to pray for Trump! Can we revoke their tax exempt status already?

The group of so-called Christian evangelists who support Trump are conmen pandering to a base that will blindly support them and line their pockets with money. One such ‘Christian’ named David Lane is teaming up with Newt Gingrich to urge pastors in Lane’s American Renewal Network to include Trump’s name in prayer.

Lane also wants them to pray for a hefty tax cut this fall. He and Gingrich believe the tax cut is the key to keeping Republicans’ seats in 2018 and beyond.

Gingrich and Lane don’t believe in the separation of church and state. Lane is known for linking Republican candidates up with conservative pastors to boost candidates’ popularity.

Gingrich believes Trump has already made a “huge difference” and is “starting to turn America in the right direction.” He then glorified Trump as a “remarkably powerful but complex person.” Gingrich also highlighted the appointment of Neil Gorsuch as a major Trump accomplishment.

At: http://realtimepolitics.com/2017/08/05/trumpvangelist-demands-trumph/




I mean really holy shit – and how the fuck is Newt Gingrich still a thing? Seriously, Newt, you’re done, time to get the fuck out of Washington. Really, GTFO!!

WASHINGTON -- Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said of President Trump Thursday, "We have in the White House today a president who is clearly committed to stopping the Left."

Gingrich was speaking during an online call with the American Renewal Project, a conservative organization encouraging pastors to get more involved in the political realm and bring their congregations along with them.

He had a dire warning about what would happen to the country if the tide turns in Washington and liberals take charge again.

"Remember: There are a lot of people on the other side, including in the elite news media, who deeply, deeply want President Trump to fail," he warned, "who deeply want our values to be wiped out by making them, frankly, illegal, and who are deeply committed to changing America in ways that would turn it into a country you and I would have no real knowledge of and no understanding of."
http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/politics/2017/august/the-nations-on-the-line-newt-gingrich-has-a-spiritual-warning-for-pastors




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Boy these people are paranoid, aren’t they? Of course we want Trump to fail! I mean he was elected under shady circumstances and controlled by a hostile foreign entity! Jesus, could these people be any more fucking insane? By the way I think next week we’re going to do a deep dive on Ralph Drollinger for “This Fucking Guy”.

The founder of a group dedicated to making "disciples of Jesus Christ in the political arena" has been leading a Bible study with top members of the Trump administration.

Ralph Drollinger of Capitol Ministries has been working with cabinet members including Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price on a weekly basis, according to a report by the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN). Vice President Mike Pence sponsors the meetings.

Capitol Ministries claims to "stay away from politics" on its website, but its stated mission is to "reach public servants for Christ at every stop along their career paths...as they ascend to higher office" in the hopes that "the impact of the Gospel will be increased in every strata of government." CBN reports that Drollinger "founded Capitol Ministries with the idea that if you change the hearts of lawmakers, then their Christian worldview will guide them to make good policies."

Drollinger says the cabinet's Bible study is "likely the first of its kind in almost 100 years."

In an interview with CBN, he praised the cabinet members on their participation in the group, singling out Sessions. "He'll go out the same day I teach him something and I'll see him do it on camera and I just think, 'Wow, these guys are faithful, available, and teachable and they're at Bible study every week they're in town.'"
https://www.commondreams.org/news/2017/07/31/team-trumps-bible-study-weekly-worship-meeting-white-house



But there’s one other thing that this week’s craziest of the crazy religious zealots have been up to in their constitution-violating ways. Now the right has gone after Trump’s national security advisor and British fish and chips spokesman H.R. McMaster, and well, Rick Wiles has offered a rather bizarre suggestion:

Last week, End Times radio host Rick Wiles launched a prayer effort calling on God to remove H. R. McMaster from his position as President Trump’s national security adviser. On his program on Friday, Wiles suggested that Trump could get rid of McMaster by sending him off to Afghanistan and did so by citing a rather shocking biblical parallel.

Wiles suggested that reports that Trump has been frustrated by the lack of progress in the war effort was really a plan by Trump to create a “cover story to send Gen. McMaster to Afghanistan” and remove him from the White House.

“Send him to a battlefield,” Wiles suggested, noting that “King David sent Bathsheba’s husband to war also.”

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rick-wiles-uses-shocking-biblical-story-to-advise-trump-on-how-to-get-rid-of-mcmaster/




By the way – speaking of Holy Shit, we cant do this segment without talking about Pat Robertson, who dropped some gems this week. For instance:

Televangelist Pat Robertson warned that the backlash to Indiana’s anti-LGBT law signaled a renewed assault on Americans’ sexual practices and “deeply held Christian beliefs.”

Robertson used last night's broadcast of the “700 Club” to bring up a pizza shop owner in Indiana who made national news when she told a TV reporter that she would not cater food at a same-sex wedding, Right Wing Watch reported.

“I’m not sure I would serve pizza for a gay wedding,” Robertson said. “Most gays, if they’re having a wedding, don’t want pizzas – they want cake. It’s the cake makers that are having the problem.”

The “700 Club” host warned that if gay couples were permitted to serve Christian-baked cakes during their wedding reception, there’s no telling where they would stop. Pat Robertson claims gay people will force Christians to embrace anal sex, endorse sex with dogs.

At: http://www.nova-magazine.net/pat-robertson-homosexuality-destroy-america-christians-endorse-bestiality/


Really… I just… I’m done trying to decipher their bullshit. .



And then there’s this from Pat – which might be one of the craziest things he’s ever said – and he’s said a lot of crazy shit!

“If you wanted to destroy the Fox News, you really wanted to destroy them, what would you do? Well you would send some salacious material, ostensibly from one of their popular co-hosts or hosts and you’d send it out and then get it publicized and then you have some woman complain that she had gotten this salacious material from this co-host and then she would come to Fox, and Fox is so averse to any kind of legal action that they would immediately take the person off the air, so before long you would have decimated the prime time line up of all the Fox hosts. Easy to do? Absolutely. Is it being done? Probably.” – Pat Robertson, speaking on yesterday’s show.

More plus video (truly disgusting):
http://www.joemygod.com/2017/08/08/robertson-liberals-faked-eric-bollings-dick-pics/




And while on the subject of nuclear armageddon, here's an absolutely insane rationale from a Texas megachurch preacher on why it's OK for Trump to go to war in North Korea:

Texas megachurch pastor Robert Jeffress, one of President Trump’s evangelical advisers who preached the morning of his inauguration, has released a statement saying the president has the moral authority to take out North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.

“When it comes to how we should deal with evil doers, the Bible, in the book of Romans, is very clear: God has endowed rulers full power to use whatever means necessary — including war — to stop evil,” Jeffress said. “In the case of North Korea, God has given Trump authority to take out Kim Jong Un.”

Jeffress said in a phone interview that he was prompted to make the statement after Trump said that if North Korea’s threats to the United States continue, Pyongyang will be “met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2017/08/08/god-has-given-trump-authority-to-take-out-kim-jong-un-evangelical-adviser-says/?utm_term=.6a12780158fa


If this is "god's will", I would hate to see what Satan's will is! Fighting evil with evil? What could possibly go...



That’s it for this week in:




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[font size="8"]Bob Murray
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So we got to start this entry by playing the clip from John Oliver a few weeks ago about coal:



And if you’re Bob Murray, CEO of Murray Energy, one of the targets in this piece, how do you react? With a lawsuit, because of course you do! And well, I couldn’t love this story more. Because John Oliver is one of our favorites here, and Murray is just feeding off this. Well, this week the briefing from the lawsuit was released and it’s one of the funniest things ever.

“Last Week Tonight” host John Oliver knew he was inviting a legal battle when he used his show Sunday to lambaste one of the country’s largest coal mining companies and mock its chief executive.

But it had to be done, he said.

In a 24-minute segment on the decline of the coal industry and President Trump’s tenuous promises to bring it back, Oliver railed against the mining giant Murray Energy Corporation and chief executive Robert E. Murray, who has blamed the industry’s troubles on an “evil agenda” by President Barack Obama.

Before he got going, Oliver offered up a proviso. “I’m going to need to be careful here,” he said, “because when we contacted Murray Energy for this piece, they sent us a letter instructing us to ‘cease and desist from any effort to defame, harass, or otherwise injure Mr. Murray or Murray Energy,’ and telling us that ‘failure to do so will result in immediate litigation.’”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/06/22/john-oliver-a-giant-squirrel-and-a-defamation-lawsuit-by-a-coal-industry-titan/?utm_term=.639f8c4f26f0


&t=10s

Yeah so the snowflake CEO of Murray Energy sued John Oliver. Yeah you don’t sue John Oliver! John Oliver sues you! So with that in mind we’re going to break down the briefing of this and it’s one of the funniest things ever:

The American Civil Liberties Union isn’t exactly known for its sense of humor. But on Aug. 1, the defenders of free speech filed a jocular amicus brief in perhaps the most comical case of 2017, a year that’s proving pretty amusing for US courts.

Still, the organization warns it’s serious about what’s at stake in The Marshall County Coal Company v. John Oliver. In June, a group of coal companies filed a defamation claim in a West Virginia court after unflattering coverage of the industry on an episode of HBO’s weekly show Last Week Tonight With John Oliver.

The June 18 episode covered coal and the industry’s promises to workers. The comedian called coal “basically cocaine for Thomas the Tank Engine” and began by laughing at US president Donald Trump’s pledges that his policies would lead to otherwise under- or unemployed coal miners working their “asses off” during his administration. Oliver soon moved on to mocking industry insiders, like Bob Murray, the CEO of Murray Energy Corporation. The comedian said he’d have to tread carefully with Murray, as the mining baron’s company had already sent him a cease and desist letter.
https://qz.com/1044063/john-oliver-was-sued-by-coal-mining-companies-and-the-aclu-came-to-his-defense-with-a-witty-amicus-brief/


Yes!!!! What a snowflake!!!





And yes – Mr. Nutter Butter is named personally in this lawsuit, which is one of the craziest and funniest things ever. We’ll break it down for you. Here’s some of the best parts:



Yes, anyone can legally say “Eat shit, Bob!”. Fuckin’ a, I will do it! “Eat shit, Bob!”. Thank you! In fact it gets better:

Plaintiffs argue that Defendants will use their “unique powers” to “access … millions of West Virginians, to bias the potential jurors who will determine their fate.” … (These special powers must include magic, as West Virginia has under 2 million residents.)
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/08/02/the_latest_brief_in_the_john_oliver_lawsuit_is_hilarious.html


Yes – they literally have to say that John Oliver isn’t a wizard. And here’s probably my favorite part of the whole thing:

It is apt that one of Plaintiffs’ objections to the show is about a human-sized squirrel named Mr. Nutterbutter, because this case is nuts. Which also begs the question: is Mr. Nutterbutter one of the 50 Doe Defendants included in this action?


Yes – Mr. Nutter Butter is named as a plaintiff. A guy wearing a human sized squirrel costume is a plaintiff in this investigation.




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[font size="8"]Colin Kaepernick Haters
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Time once again to ask:



This week – Hating Colin Kaepernick – How is this still a thing? You remember from last year when Colin Kaepernick became the punching bag of the conservative community because he refused to stand up during the National Anthem right? Oh if there’s one thing you don’t do – you don’t disrespect the favorite symbols of the conservative community! Well, this week, Colin Kaepernick has been in the news quite a bit because of this:

The Miami Dolphins took some heat over the weekend after they announced they were signing a seasoned quarterback to replace their injured starter instead of controversial QB Colin Kaepernick.

The Miami football franchise announced Sunday they had signed 34-year-old Jay Cutler to a one-year contract to replace injured franchise quarterback Ryan Tannehill. The move forced Cutler to come out of retirement and forego a position at Fox Sports as a game analyst.

The Dolphins had been shopping for a quarterback due to the uncertainty surrounding Tannehill and whether or not he would undergo surgery for stretched ligaments in his left knee, according to ESPN.com. The quarterback injured his knee in training camp last Thursday. A surgery to repair the knee would likely be season-ending.

The move came somewhat as a surprise given that Cutler had already announced his retirement and there was at least one highly seasoned starting QB who could have replaced Tannehill for a season: Kaepernick.
http://www.theblaze.com/news/2017/08/06/football-fans-accuse-miami-dolphins-of-being-racist-after-they-choose-not-to-sign-colin-kaepernick/




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So the Miami Dolphins rather than hire Fox News punching bag Colin Kaepernick, instead decided to go with Jay Cutler, prompting lots of accusations of racism and other things, because, outrage. In fact when Kaepernick then considered going to the Baltimore Ravens, here’s how Ravens fans reacted.

When news broke that the Baltimore Ravens were considering bringing in quarterback and black activist Colin Kaepernick to back up current quarterback Joe Flacco, fans on both side of the controversy took up arms.

Those who opposed Kaepernick’s kneeling protest against the killing of unarmed black men, women and children threatened to boycott games. Now, according to Color of Change, the nation’s largest online civil rights organization, the Ravens headquarters are refusing to take comments in support of Kaepernick.

“The Ravens’ egregious silencing of this outpouring of support for Kaepernick comes after the team’s executives publicly stated that they wanted to hear from fans as they made their decision,” Rashad Robinson, executive director of Color of Change, which launched a website to mobilize calls in support of Kaepernick to Ravens headquarters, said in a statement.
http://www.theroot.com/the-baltimore-ravens-asked-fans-who-supported-colin-kae-1797541929




I think this might fall under awkward silence. Because this is about as awkward as it gets – and the sad thing is the conservative haters are coming out in full force. But then how can Kaepernick help out a football team? There’s always this.

Via SB Nation's Levi Damien:

“I know this; he’s a talented football player,” Carr said of Kaepernick. “And the times I’ve talked to Colin, he’s a great person, I’ve enjoyed it. I can’t speak for any other teams or organizations. Obviously we have quarterbacks so he won’t come here, but I wish him the best and I hope he gets signed, I really do. I don’t know if he wants to play or if he doesn’t, all that stuff, but if he does, I really hope he gets signed because as a football player, he can help a football team.”

Then came the topic of the former 49ers quarterback remaining unsigned.

“It was surprising to me, just talent wise,” Carr said of Kaepernick being unsigned, “but again, that goes not just for Colin, there’s a lot of guys out there that are unsigned where you’re like ‘man, I’ve watched that guy on film, he’s pretty good, there must be something else there.’ Thank goodness I don’t make those decisions, I just try and complete passes.”
http://oak.247sports.com/Bolt/Derek-Carr-says-Colin-Kaepernick-can-help-a-football-team-105812086




So how is hating Colin Kaepernick still a thing? Yeah what happened last year is what happened last year, people should get over it. But the Fox News crowd loves to hold a grudge. But even Commissioner Goodell is saying that it’s not the move he would make.

Kaepernick, who opted out of his contract with the 49ers on March 3, has drawn interest from Seattle and Baltimore but remains unemployed a year after throwing for 16 touchdowns and four interceptions in 11 games. Several teams have signed lesser backups without giving Kaepernick a call.

Goodell demurred when asked if he thought Kaepernick should be in the league based strictly on his talent.

"There are other people who make those evaluations and that's a decision that those teams all make individually," Goodell said. "It's not one that I would make as a commissioner."
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/ct-nfl-roger-goodell-colin-kaepernick-20170803-story.html




Yeah that gets the mega facepalm. But there is some good news this week regarding Kaepernick's playing status, Fox News' public enemy number one, will be playing somewhere! Maybe the Giants?

Fans of Colin Kaepernick should be comforted by the words of New York Giants co-owner John Mara.

Mara was a guest on “The Michael Kay Show” on ESPN New York’s 98.7 Tuesday and was asked about Kaepernick, who is a free agent. Mara said he thinks Kaepernick will end up on an NFL roster this season.

“I think he still has some good football left in him. I agree with that,” Mara said on The Michael Kay Show. “But obviously there are other issues that go along with him. Is he willing to sit as a backup behind a starter? What’s that going to do with your locker room, your quarterback room, with your offensive room?”

Those are all questions many people have been asking when it comes to Kaepernick. Another question some have been wondering is whether the free agent QB is being blackballed by the league. Mara says that’s not the case.

“Absolutely not. Anybody who thinks there has been any conversations going on among teams about Colin Kaepernick is crazy,” Mara said. “That just is not the case. I saw a quote, I think it was [Dolphins owner] Steve Ross in Miami said recently: ‘Teams want to win so badly that if they believe a player can help them win, they are going to bring them on.’
http://larrybrownsports.com/football/giants-owner-colin-kaepernick-nfl-roster/387133


OK so the NFL defends wife beaters, abusers and rapists - some of the worst people on earth. But it ignores Colin Kaepernick, a guy who was simply exercising his first amendment right to protest. But that doesn't answer the question about why hating Colin Kaepernick is still a thing. And there’s good reason for that. Why is Colin Kaepernick being blackballed from the NFL? Well there’s always this.

This week, after Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill suffered a gnarly-looking knee injury that will likely sideline him for weeks or months, multiple sportswriters — including the Herald's Greg Cote, New Times resident sports expert Ryan Yousefi, and, yes, Uncle Luke himself — suggested the Dolphins pick up Kap.

The very suggestion apparently sent Salguero into a blind rage, which he channeled into a remarkably dumb column. This is a good time to note that a study released in April showed that being angry at football players for protesting the National Anthem was a strong indicator of racism.
http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/miami-herald-sportswriter-armando-salguero-continues-racist-attack-on-colin-kaepernick-9552138




Yup there it is – Colin Kaepernick is black *AND* liberal *AND* supports Black Lives Matter. That’s enough to make you ask – Hating Colin Kaepernick:




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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



God where do we begin with this week? Let’s talk about the Emoji Movie. I mean the fact that this was number 2 at the box office is purely a sign that we can’t have nice things, right? Well, here’s an even further sign of the impending doom that we’re facing:

HOWELL, NJ — Police are looking for a man caught with his hand down his pants during an opening day screening of 'The Emoji Movie.'

A mom at the movie with her children and friends noticed the man with his pants unbuttoned, zipper undone and hand down his pants in the Xscape movie theater on Route 9 in Howell on July 28, police said. He was seated alone in the back row of the theater.

The woman immediately reported the incident to management, police said. Movie theater management responded and escorted the man out of the theater.

Police were called later that day.
http://pix11.com/2017/08/02/police-seek-man-seen-pleasuring-himself-during-nj-screening-of-the-emoji-movie/




I think that’s a pretty simple review of that story, am I right? Man there was a lot of stupid this week. Where do we go next? I know! How about fast food! Specifically – fast food rage. I love a good fast food rage story! We go to Earl Township, Pennsylvania for this one:

Incensed that there were not enough cucumbers in his salad, a Pennsylvania man allegedly threatened the life of a Wendy’s employee and later sought to drive away from the fast food eatery while a police officer had his arm inside the suspect’s vehicle, according to court records.

Police say that Theodore Gunderson, 58, entered the Wendy’s in Earl Township around 3:40 PM Sunday and ordered a salad.

Upon receiving his grub, the 5’8”, 240-pound Gunderson “immediately caused a disturbance in the business by throwing the salad at an employee because the salad did not have enough cucumbers,” a probable cause affidavit charges.

Gunderson then threatened the employee, saying, “If I had a gun or a knife you would be the first to go.”
http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/wendys-cucumber-rage-arrest-792854




Yeah seriously time to go Sparta on their asses! Where do we go next? How about Canada? They’re definitely not immune from crazy, stupid people:

A simple, hand-painted placard posted at the end of a driveway in Nova Scotia succeeded in changing the mind of an anonymous wheelbarrow thief, who apparently returned the ill-gotten implement a few days after the sign sought its return.

The original sign, which said “BRING BACK MY WHEELBARROW” in large, hand-painted green letters, was spotted sitting at the end of a driveway in rural Nova Scotia on July 29. Days later a second sign was spotted in its place, thanking whoever took the wheelbarrow for returning it.

“THANK YOU FOR BRINGING BACK MY WHEELBARROW,” the sign said.

Halifax-based TV producer Andrew Killawee posted the original photo on social media July 29, along with the caption: “Rural N.S. Crime Stoppers.” He later posted a photo of the second sign, along with his own incredulous caption that read: “I’m not even kidding…”
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/bring-back-my-wheelbarrow-sign-gets-results-in-n-s-1.3529472




That’s why Canada is better than us, folks! Where do we go from here? Have you heard the “seven priests walk into a bar…” joke? No, seriously! Seven priests walk into a bar…

Seven priests walked into a bar... and were asked to leave because landlord thought they were on a stag do.

The seminarians were initially barred from the City Arms in Cardiff on Saturday despite insisting their clothes were not fancy dress.

But they managed to get their celebratory pints on the house after the bar manager realised they were the real thing.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/08/01/seven-priests-walk-barand-asked-leave-mistaken-stag-do/




So where do we go next? How about Florida! Because we can never have some stories with stupid people without talking about Florida, can we? Well there’s this dolt:

A Fort Walton Beach man, who Okaloosa County sheriff's deputies say called himself a drug dealer, is facing charges after he called 911 saying someone stole his drugs.

Sunday morning deputies say David Blackmon, 32, identified himself as a drug dealer and told a deputy someone stole $50 and a quarter ounce of cocaine off the center console.

The deputy reported seeing the cocaine in the spot Blackmon reported it missing from. The deputy also said he found a crack pipe on the floorboard and a crack rock. The money was not found.
http://www.wjhg.com/content/news/Man-claiming-to-be-a-drug-dealer-calls-deputies-reporting-stolen-cocaine-434979033.html




So what’s up next? Here’s a Florida story that has everything!

Authorities in Florida say they arrested a man who robbed a bank, stripped naked and ran down the street throwing stolen money — a spectacle that he somehow thought would jump-start his career as a comedian.

Instead, the FBI says 25-year-old Alexander Sperber is charged with bank robbery.

A federal complaint says the man told authorities he parked his car at the bank, made a gun motion with his hand and demanded money from the teller, who gave him about $4,700 in a bag. Officials say a red dye pack exploded, staining his clothes and a cast on his left wrist.

The Sun Sentinel reports Sperber was taken to a hospital and found to be coherent and uninjured. It’s unclear if he has an attorney.

Read more: http://www.starnewsonline.com/zz/shareable/20170728/florida-man-robs-bank-gets-naked-and-throws-money




Continuing in the great state of Florida, or America’s penis, there’s this story of a dumb prostitute who charged an undercover police officer for the low low price of…. Anyone???? Yes, $40, sir!!!

A Florida woman who introduced herself as the "Million Dollar Ho" to police officers is now in custody on prostitution charges, according to an affidavit.

Thomas entered the officer's vehicle, dropped her handle and offered a variety of services for a price that was considerably less than $1 million.

"I'd like to **** **** ****, or do you want ***** or both. $40 and I'll give you everything you want," according to the affidavit. "You're the first one today."
http://www.chron.com/crime/article/Woman-who-goes-by-Million-Dollar-Ho-arrested-in-11305956.php




Finally for People Are Dumb this week, how about Vegas? You know you still got to fly home to pay for your weekend booze, strippers, blow and gambling run, don’t you? Because then you at least go back to Vegas the next time for another round. Well, not for this guy! And of course it’s Spirit Airlines – the Florida of the airline industry!

Officials say a Spirit Airlines flight leaving Las Vegas was briefly delayed after a passenger removed all their clothes while boarding and approached a flight attendant.

McCarran International Airport says police and medical responders took the passenger for observation.

Police Lt. Carlos Hank said the passenger received treatment after the medical episode.

KTNV reports the flight was delayed by about 30 minutes and arrived 20 minutes behind scheduled.
http://www.kwwl.com/story/36004818/2017/07/30/officials-flight-in-vegas-delayed-by-naked-passenger




That’s it this week for:



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[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #9: Belgium
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, we’re just about done touring all of Europe. The last two weeks we visited Scandinavia, where Norway is a little bit racist, and in Sweden – just about anything goes, including the nation’s cyber security laws. Here’s the tour schedule:



[font size="6"]Belgium[/font]



Next up on our World Tour, we’re headed back to continental Europe for a few more stops before we depart for Africa, South America, and North America. So this week we’re in Belgium. Belgium has some of the best food and drink Europe has to offer. And beer is a religion in Belgium. Why else is it brewed by monks? If you’ve never had any good Belgian beer, just don’t go to a bar in downtown Brussels and order a Stella Artois. Otherwise they laugh at you. Good Belgian beer is from breweries like Gulden Draak, St. Bernardus, Duvel, Orval, and the ever elusive Westvleteren Brewery. In addition to beer, there’s tons of other things Belgium is known for. Belgium is also known for such world wonders as the Grand Palace. It’s home to such scenic cities as Antwerp, Brussels, and Bruges – most famously profiled in the 2008 Colin Ferrell assassin for hire flick “In Bruges”:



There’s lots of other things to like about Belgium. There’s some beautiful scenery in the countryside if you travel by rail. And sports? They got them. Belgium is home to First Division A, one of the world’s premier soccer leagues. Music? Belgium has some amazing concert venues and is home to the Tomorrowland Music Festival, and the famous metal festival Grasspop, and a new one called Rock Wertcher (say that in your best Fred Schnieder voice). But what else is Belgium the home of? Well we’re going to explore a new angle here called “Trumps Around The World”. We’re going to start by introducing you to Brussels mayor Yvan Mayuer, who resigned amid scandal that he stole money from homeless people. Yes, I don’t think even Trump himself could get much lower than that:

BRUSSELS — The former mayor of Brussels has vanished.

On Thursday night, the mayor, Yvan Mayeur, offered his resignation at a tumultuous City Council meeting, hours after a government-ordered audit found that he had been paid 36,000 euros (about $40,000) over two years to attend board meetings of an agency that helps the homeless, even though there was no evidence such meetings took place.

Since then, Mr. Mayeur has been out of view. On Friday, Belgian journalists reported that he was meeting with colleagues about his political future in an undisclosed location. On Monday, hundreds of residents held a sit-in on the Grand Place in Brussels to demand that Mr. Mayeur address the city about its future. Tuesday came and went without any evident public statement by Mr. Mayeur, 57, who had been in power since 2013.

The bizarre resignation is only the latest of several corruption scandals that have ensnared politicians and sowed doubt about the health of democracy in Belgium, a country where power is divided along regional and linguistic lines, and across multiple layers of government: federal, regional, communal, provincial and local. The country famously went 541 days without a functioning government after a June 2010 election in which no party gained dominance.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/13/world/europe/brussels-mayor-yvan-mayeur-scandal.html?_r=0




Yeah stealing money from homeless people – that doesn’t get any lower than that. Of course he would disappear because you can bet he would get his ass kicked! But Beligum has a political spectrum that’s way too complicated to explain on our crappy little show.

Belgium is a small country with a complicated political structure

Belgium has a complicated political structure: Its small population of only 11 million people is governed by six parliaments and governments. These are intended to distribute power among its regional and linguistic communities: mainly the Dutch- and French-speaking communities, but also the small German-speaking community.

Brussels is especially complex. It is the only place in Belgium where French- and Dutch-speaking communities live together, and is governed by a maze of political institutions. It has a parliament and government; 19 autonomous borough assemblies; six different police zones; and 33 public housing companies. Together, the Brussels region — with a population of just over 1 million — has 166 ministers, mayors and city councilors. That’s more than Berlin and Paris combined. The proliferating institutions and positions result from Belgium’s so-called “pacification model,” which seeks to build consensus among Belgium’s various cultural and political communities, but has led to a proliferation of institutions and positions.

But these confusingly overlapping structures pave the way for corruption — as we can better understand by looking at Africa.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2017/07/10/want-to-understand-belgiums-complicated-politics-and-scandals-lets-look-at-africa/?utm_term=.f1b63870fc2e




But putting greedy aside here’s something interesting about Belgium – did you know that some countries simply swap land? Yeah that’s a thing.

"I made a clear proposal to delineate between what is Serb and what is Albanian as that is in the interest of both Serbs and Albanians, and the only possible solution," Dacic told Tanjug on Tuesday.

Those who criticize him for "allegedly betraying something with this proposal, or provoking conflict with it" in fact "want to hand over entire Kosovo - because that's how they see internal dialogue," the minister continued.

"Hysterical attacks against me over this proposal show what hypocrites they are," he added.

Dacic also said that Serbia will never accept Kosovo's unilaterally declared independence, but wants a dialogue about a lasting solution.

"That's why these attempts to kill the only possible lasting solution that is in the interests of Serbs and Albanians, and that both Serbs and Albanians accept, are pathetic," Dacic said.
http://www.b92.net/eng/news/politics.php?yyyy=2017&mm=08&dd=02&nav_id=101966




But… even though Belgium has a rather interesting political climate, here’s an interesting twist in the ever insane situation that the EU is facing with Brexit:

Brussels is gripped with gossip about the forthcoming Brexit negotiations.

The rights of British citizens living there and elsewhere are still to be decided, but a handful of the 25,000 British people living in Belgium do not want to wait for the outcome and are applying for citizenship in their adopted home.

In her house in a smart Brussels suburb, British-born business consultant Glynis Whiting brandished her stiff, shiny, new Belgian passport.

"I went through customs in Germany with it recently and I thought: 'This is me stating that I am a slightly different person than I was,'" she told me.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-uk-leaves-the-eu-39590751




And then you know while Trump was on his World Deplorable Tour 2017 stroking orbs with the Saudi elite, did you know he made a complete ass of himself while visiting Belgium? We are not surprised!

I hope I speak for many other loyal Americans who are embarrassed and ashamed of Donald Trump when I apologize to our allies for his being the President. Trump is destroying our relationships with our allies and is a danger to the USA and the world.

Even our closest ally, Great Britain will no longer share intelligence with us. They can’t trust the USA under Trump as was reported today. Click the link, read the stories Trump supporters; and pull your head out of the sand, or wherever your head is stuck. I'm sure somehow Trump and his supporters will try to blame anyone but themselves. That is how narcissists operate, they are always the victims and never take responsibility for their own actions.

This man and his administration are dangerously incompetent. I just don’t see how isolating the USA from the World and making the World a more dangerous place is making America Great? Trump is in Brussels, Belgium, a place he once called a Hellhole and is making a fool of himself and scaring our allies.

This man may be rich, but he is ignorant. He is totally ignorant of History as he has shown many times. Now his ignorance is dangerous. Trump refused to endorse Article V of NATO’s charter. That article states that an attack on one Nation in the Alliance is an attack on all Nations in the alliance.
http://www.chicagonow.com/politics-now/2017/05/donald-trump-embarrasses-the-usa-in-belgium/




[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

Belgium is an awesome country – I’ve been there. There’s plenty of amazing food and beers if you’re so inclined. But if you ever think of moving there, you should know what it is you’re getting into. And they’re very American friendly as well.

Tourism: A
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: C
Liberal Appeal: B+

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week we’re hitting the Heineken Brewery, touring the canals, cruising the Red Light District, and smoking some of that sweet legal green as we head up north to the Netherlands!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Portugal. The Man[/font]

Folks, my next guest has an amazing new album out called “Woodstock”. Buy it or you’re no friend of this show. If you get the chance to see these guys live, they are amazing. Playing their song called “Feel It Still”, give it up for Portugal The Man!





Yeah how about that?

See you next week!
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