Millions Willing to Work for Mueller for Free If That Would Speed Things Up (Satire)

[Stonepounder]

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/millions-willing-to-work-for-mueller-for-free-if-that-would-speed-things-up?mbid=nl_081517%20Borowitz%20Newsletter%20(1)&CNDID=27161810&spMailingID=11701637&spUserID=MTMzMTgyODIwMTg3S0&spJobID=1221350640&spReportId=MTIyMTM1MDY0MAS2

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans would gladly work for Robert Mueller for free if that would help speed things up, a new poll finds.

According to the survey, a substantial number of Americans would leave their jobs, their homes, and even their families to join the special counsel’s team if doing so would help bring this nightmare to a swifter conclusion.

A spokesperson for the special counsel confirmed that his office has been receiving thousands of résumés a day from Americans begging to do anything to help Mueller “move things along.”

“We saw a big surge in interest after the bust on Paul Manafort’s house,” the spokesperson said. “A lot of folks were devastated that they didn’t get to play a part in that.”

[ffr]

1. I'll be first in line for that work.